Dumb things I've heard non-autistics say about autism

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MindBlind
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03 Nov 2012, 3:15 pm

I have a few:

1. "Well if they lack empathy, that means that I don't have to show empathy either".

No, just no. We are not this f*****g monolith that all act and feel the same way. Most autistics feel empathy just strongly as anyone else. We just struggle to understand social language. It's kind of like how you don't know the definition of a word, but you can still understand the concept of it.

2. "If you can pretend to be normal sometimes, why can't you do it all the time"?

Hey, douchebag, can you do cartwheels? You can? That's great! Now so it everyday, all the time for the rest of your life. You can't? But I thought you said you could do cartwheels? You're a lazy jerk.

3. "You don't have autism because you gave eye contact to a a camera lens"

DAFUQ? A lens is not a pair of eyes, stupid. Usually when you get your photograph taken, you are told where to look. In a social situation, your eyes have to do all kinds of daft s**t, e.g, looking at the face, the eyes, the body language, looking away sometimes because staring is creepy, etc.

4. "You dress too nice to be autistic"

Image

Plus,. what does not dressing nicely and autism have to do with each other?

5. "Yeah, well at least your talents make up for your autism"

f**k you very much, sir or madam (or whatever pronouns you like). Yeah, I because I am not worthy of equality until I have some super-duper snowflakeyness to compensate, amirite?

6. "How can you call yourself "autistic" when you only have aspergers"

Well, lemme just consult the diagnostic criteria...*picks up books on ASD*...ah yes, Aspergers is part of the spectrum. By definition, that makes me autistic, so screw you.

7. "My child can't even speak! How can you justify calling yourself disabled"

Er....how does being able to speak make you non-disabled? That's not the only skill that people can have, y'know...

8. "My ex has aspergers and he was emotionally negectful, so excuse me if I don't like or trust you aspies"

Yeah, I'm sorry. I should be accommodating for your prejudice instead of getting you to realize that it is irrational and that you need help. Man, you can use that to justify any prejudice. You got robbed by a black guy and now you have an irrational fear that black people will rob you? Naw, you're not a racist at all...

9. "I thought that autistics were supposed to be geniuses at math?"

That's called 'hollywood', darling....

10. "You disagree with me because your autism inhibits your ability to understand my point of view"

Yeah, because your opinions are infallible, right? What a dick move. in fact, I think that would be considered an ad hominem.

11. "Well, you say this happened to you but because you are autistic, I think you're exaggerating"

Isn't this an abuse tactic?

12. "I think you do want to have a spouse, but you pretend you don't because your autism make sit difficult"

No, I sincerely have no interest in finding one.

13. "You should be learning how to date people now because you'll regret it when you're older"

Well, that's for my future self to decide. I'm not putting myself in a stressful situation in which I have no interest in just incase I change my mind in the future about being in a relationship. Besides, a big part of life is regret. Get over it.

14. "You're too extroverted to be autistic"
.Image

That's all I can think of at the moment. f**k, it felt good to do this



Last edited by MindBlind on 05 Nov 2012, 7:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

NateRiver
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03 Nov 2012, 3:47 pm

In your brain, you have social cells and smart cells. Well, in an autistic brain you have lots of smart cells but not many social ones.



Woodpecker
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03 Nov 2012, 3:55 pm

I try not to let silly people (both NT and AS) get on my nerves. I say that life is too short to deal with them all.

My wife (who has AS) saw one very stupid thing commented on another website (Not a AS site, I would rather not name the site to avoid breaking the WP rules) where someone said that AS was a borderline personality disorder. Me and my wife thought that was very silly, BPD and AS are very different conditions. From what I have read BPD is a totally different condition to AS.

It was about as stupid as a person saying that flu is a mild version of lung cancer !


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03 Nov 2012, 4:05 pm

If they want to sit on Santa's lap, then they are not autistic. An autistic person would not want to be on Santa's lap.

Autism is just an excuse for kids to be brats. It doesn't exist.


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lady_katie
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03 Nov 2012, 4:27 pm

"If you showed emotion when your son was born, you're not autistic" - my husband's therapist (who later admit that he is in fact autistic).



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03 Nov 2012, 4:36 pm

"You can't have Asperger's because you don't play with fire, wet the bed, or torture helpless animals." -- my former G.P.


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MLR
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03 Nov 2012, 4:51 pm

After explaining my social difficulties to my family.

"Everyone has those moments, that doesn't mean you're autistic."

GAAAHHHHHH.

---

It feels awful to read this, but the frustration is somehow enjoyable.



antifeministfrills
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03 Nov 2012, 5:40 pm

Fnord wrote:
"You can't have Asperger's because you don't play with fire, wet the bed, or torture helpless animals." -- my former G.P.


Wtf.



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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03 Nov 2012, 6:24 pm

When trying to describe social difficulties, feeling overwhelmed, etc: "It's okay, everyone feels that way sometimes!"

Yes - sometimes. Do you feel like that all day, every day?



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03 Nov 2012, 6:46 pm

I swear, every time someone says stuff like the examples you have posted, I want to kill something, very slow, and very painfully. Preferably over the course of a few days.


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slave
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03 Nov 2012, 6:50 pm

Fnord wrote:
"You can't have Asperger's because you don't play with fire, wet the bed, or torture helpless animals." -- my former G.P.


Should receive Prof. discipline for that. :(



slave
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03 Nov 2012, 6:53 pm

"Oh, you mean like that serial killer guy, no way your too nice to be like him!"

Gee...um...thanks!! !



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03 Nov 2012, 7:53 pm

I just had a conversation with someone who confidently declared that all autistic people are introverted. Also, that extraversion means having good social skills. Very strange.

He also insisted that every introvert really really wants to be an extravert, even if they refuse to admit it.



FMX
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03 Nov 2012, 8:04 pm

MindBlind, I'm not sure how you hear all this stuff all the time, because I haven't heard a single one. I can only guess it's because you talk to NTs about being autistic a lot. If that's the case and their responses really bother you that much (and the language in your post seems to imply so), have you considered just not talking to them about it?



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03 Nov 2012, 8:16 pm

oh my gosh, I was terrified of the entire concept of sitting on Santa's lap when I was a small child. It defied everything I was taught about never talk to strangers. My parents thought I was bawling because I was under the weather the first time they took me (I guess in the 80s they had no concept of keeping your germs to yourself) and I look so traumatized in the little photo. ha.


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Verdandi
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03 Nov 2012, 8:33 pm

FMX wrote:
MindBlind, I'm not sure how you hear all this stuff all the time, because I haven't heard a single one. I can only guess it's because you talk to NTs about being autistic a lot. If that's the case and their responses really bother you that much (and the language in your post seems to imply so), have you considered just not talking to them about it?


I heard some of these before I knew I was autistic. This stuff comes up.