Insincerity, vicious circles.

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All I say must be received with caution. As all my life has been a constant exercise in falsification and distortion of myself, all I say here may be part of this insincerity. What I say is corrupted by two elements. The first is that I see everything cramped, disfigured, misproportioned, out of focus. It’s as if I looked through some bizarrely astigmatic lenses. About something I know I see something with extaordinary clarity, but this is of no interest for people who are in a sense saner than me and have found some practical arrangement for their life, difficult as their life is.
The second element barring real artlessness and honesty is that, after all, I am in position of radical dependence on others, people here now. I would like to be liked, I would like to know that I am of use. That somone listens with some empathy, if not sympathy. This seems to be the greatest effort I can make at sincerity.

sincerity don't worry Nts suck at it, lack of assertiveness really...

can read this why you are the way you are

http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html ... eness.html

Well, it’s all a kind of egocentrical cogitation. You don’t get out of the bubble. All I can look for is some smile from an unknown person, possibly a woman.

As they say in military radio jargon:

Roger paolo, go ahead.

(I understand what you said. Continue to transmit.)

I am probably among the elders here, even if I don’like to confess it. There is no role for aged people in this society, even here, or, in a way, particularly here. As a matter of fact I don’t feel the age I have. I reject it, even if I cannot dispose of the injuries of age. One reason is that I never experienced maturity, not even adolescence. This for a defective mind equipment. There is some experience, knowledge, clearmindedness in some matters. But not richness and real generosity.
This is again soliloquy

I have found your posts to be thoughtful and insightful. I think asking, “Am I insincere?” is like asking, “Am I crazy?” If you can ask, the answer’s no.

Is it possible for anybody to be 100% sincere? I don't think so. Everything one may say about oneself is to some extent a distortion of the truth. At the very best it is a selection from all the true things that might be said. And naturally one tends, even if unconsciously, only the things that will put one in a good light, or at least in the light one selects for oneself.

Best to say what comes naturally, without thinking too much about it. But then one has to work on oneself to develop what will come naturally and the inner mind that it comes from.

It took me ages to ask other people to help when I felt depressed and bad about myself.

When I finally did, I was amazed how many people were willing to help, and how they didn't think I was half as bad as I thought I was.

I am sure it will be the same for you.

Although I may not know how to respond to your posts,as they are often more complex then....."Do other people with AS grind their teeth?".....I do enjoy reading them and they do force me to think.Sometimes I get lost in the complexity of your sentence structure.....abit like working out a cryptogram,but I do try.I hope you will not feel excluded due to lack of response.I have seen several posters who have commented on the richness of your language.I know their are others here who value your voice.

Many people who ask "am I crazy?" are in fact some kind of crazy.
Not all kinds of crazy preclude awareness of one's own madness.

PS: I think it's possible to work on one's mental problems and on being sincere (in moments when sincerity is the best policy, which are not all moments).

You are most certainly liked and most certainly of use . WP would not be the same without your interesting & thought provoking contributions.

I had written a long post before but it got lost in the intestines of my laptop.

It was about the huge traffic of children in East Asia (especially Vietnam and Cambogia) and I was trying to figure out what their life must be. I also think that families who raise children to make them become yuppies in our affluent West is not much better and is not evene dictated by the extreme poverty of Asiatic families selling their children in the business of prostitution.

There is a columd of N. Kristof on today's NYT
I quote a little piece: "One of the oldest social dichotomies is the one dividing good girls from bad, the madonna from the whore. But in poor countries where sex trafficking and globalization have fostered new forms of slavery, it is the saintly ones — those who risk leaving their villages to help their families — who often end up as whores."

Thank you all readers of my rather grim and sometimes complicated posts. I will try to be more plain if not more funny..

These sites might be interesting:
http://web.amnesty.org/actforwomen/index-eng
http://www.hrw.org/about/projects/traffcamp/intro.html

I was looking for "how to help" sort of links, but mainly there are ones asking for money for the organization telling you about it (which some of us might want to contribute to, or not, depending on what we think of their budget) and also there is of course the helping by making awareness. Like, just tell people, and the more people know and the more people get mad, maybe something will happen.

I think a person who gets raised into luxury, has more choices than a person who is raised into desperation. Or/And it is easier for them to see their choices.

As for the specific problem touched by Kristof he reports an abundant listo of organizazions dealing with trafficking of kids. I will say something about this subject later. I don’t think the column of the NYT is accessible for non suscribers.
Kristof:

"As I mention in Sunday’s column, there are a growing number of groups that are focusing on trafficking issues and pushing them onto the international stage. These groups run the gamut from left to right, but they cooperate – a bit warily – to battle 21st century slavery. One is ECPAT, an international network of groups that traditionally focus on children prostituted in Asia. Another is International Justice Mission, a Washington-based group that has an Evangelical Christian base and has been particularly active (and effective) in Cambodia. On the more feminist end are Vital Voices, which is based in Washington and addresses global women’s issues, and Equality Now, based in New York and also focused on gender equality around the world. I’m also a huge fan of Daywalka Foundation, which I saw in action in India early this year and emphasizes using legal maneuvers to shut down traffickers.
For resources, you can check HumanTrafficking.org and MTV has a Web site.
Sometimes local groups make an incredible difference, and you can’t do better than supporting New Light Foundation, a tiny operation in a red light slum in Calcutta, India. Its founder, Urmi Basu, is truly a heroic figure.
In Cambodia, I’m a huge fan of American Assistance for Cambodia, a small and very efficient aid group run by Bernard Krisher, a reformed journalist. AAFC works on trafficking but its biggest programs are promoting education, the idea being that it’s more cost-effective to educate girls and keep them out of brothels than to try to rescue and rehabilitate them afterward.
I’m sure some readers will write asking if they can help the particular individuals I wrote about, such as Kosal, the star of my Sunday column. American Assistance for Cambodia has agreed to channel contributions to her directly. You can send your tax-deductible contribution to: American Assistance for Cambodia, Attn: Bernard Krisher, 4-1-7-605 Hiroo, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo 150-0012, Japan. Or you can email Bernie at [email protected]."

I find this, but unfortunately many other facts, shocking. I will try do discuss some of the things behind this business. I have seen once in a documentary some Cambodian parents extolling the prowness of their children in their "work".

As Kristof rightly points out, the traffic of humans, as that of weapons, organs for trasplants is a result of globalization, of the ever increasing division of labour and gradual erosion of some strong sense of communal ethos, You can feel empathy and some obligations for your neighbour (stable neighbour in a stable community, not Mr Opposite in a condo) whom you can see, non for a Chinese child you will never know and who works more or less like the English children of Oliver Twist. This is obvious for me and the problem is not going to be solved through political and humanitarian action. At this point we should look for some way of salvation in personal values, tenderness, respect for the people you happen to meet and some politeness. Some form of minimalist resistance to horror. I don’t see any other way. If had been an American citizen in year 2000, I would have voted for Gore. But the danger in this is to believe that spending an effort in a political process which is doomed from start, you are at peace whith yourself and have exhausted your research for civility, for some form of decent life that you can still perhaps obtain.
The world is upside down. Or not?
The Tao may be.

Recently I came across two young Thai women who had been trafficked into prostitution here in Australia. Really they are fine human beings, better than many other "respectable" people in this society. Now they have found husbands who treat them with love and respect, and their lives have been turned around. It is heartwarming to see.

Thanks for raising this issue, Paolo. Sometimes one feels like despairing at the state of the world. But from time to time I am encouraged by discovering that there are people like you who are quietly working away at what you call a minimalist approach, developing the goodness that is within your own heart as a sort of silent protest at the way the world is. Long may you be with us.