After the age of 25 is the prescription 'hell' for aspies?

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Mootoo
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11 Nov 2012, 6:13 pm

Every single service seems to have that average age at which it ends... most ending much sooner. But, it appears, people older than that number can rot for all eternity.

There's only one group around here that accepts aspies of any age for a *monthly* social gathering... and it's constantly full.

I seriously can't see anything for myself other than 100% misery... I can see that now since the processes are already taking place, but it really seems hopeless (unless someone here has any ideas)...



2wheels4ever
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11 Nov 2012, 7:01 pm

Find a group around your interests that meets more often or establish your own Aspies-only meetings. Option A is more like Plan B, since every Aspie has an interest, but not every person into that interest is an Aspie


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Mootoo
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11 Nov 2012, 7:17 pm

I'm not talking about interests, I'm referring to services that specifically help people with ASD, like in education.



Rascal77s
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11 Nov 2012, 7:27 pm

I've posted this same thing several times on WP; if you're over 22 you can pretty much forget about services, even from non profit organizations that provide service to people on the spectrum. There is a massive void right now in the US.



kate123A
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11 Nov 2012, 7:39 pm

you might try vocational rehab



Withdrawal
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12 Nov 2012, 5:01 am

This doesn't just apply to AS. A lot of services - especially those aimed at helping people get work - seem to cut off in the early twenties. They're designed to help young people get started in life, I suppose. But then there's not so much for those who still haven't got started when they're into their twenties.



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12 Nov 2012, 5:22 am

I've noticed this too. The only non-profit organisation to help people on the autistic spectrum in my area has a similar age limit too.

While I understand the concept of "getting people started in life", how are they overlooking the fact that the one of the hallmarks of autistic people is someone who is way behind others with life milestones like finding the right kind of job or establishing relationships beyond their family environment? That is, the exact same issues as the young people? I am 31 but I am essentially in the same position as someone ten years younger than me in terms of my life development because those years have been a string of struggle, failures and inability to form relationships (for example, I only recently managed to successfully complete a degree, which is what an average person would do at the age of 21). This actually means that I am in a position of needing far more help than a 21-year-old precisely because I am so behind and unable to catch up without assistance, so assistance is more important for someone in my situation, not less.

I am in the UK so it's not just the US which has this problem. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for you, but perhaps if enough people keep bringing it up the people who are in a position to offer help might begin to notice it's not just young people who need help.



Jabberwokky
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12 Nov 2012, 5:55 am

You are different.
You will never be happy doing normal.
Be you. Find the inner voice and follow it. Follow it even if it appears to lead you astray.
Work hard.
You will find the way, your way.
Feel the energy in your heart and mind, others do not have what you have.
Stand on your personal mountain top and shout."I am aspieeeeeeee!"
Nothing else really matters.


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shyengineer
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12 Nov 2012, 6:29 am

What services do you need? You should still be able to get support services at university at any age. Wrongplanet is a great support group for all matter of things. If you have a good ability to teach yourself, there are lots of resources online to learn social skills and life skills.

Getting work is different. Realise that currently there is massive unemployment in our age group anyway, especially if you got a degree. I'm having similar difficulties and to be honest, the reason I haven't pursued any official AS diagnosis is there isn't much help for me now. The reality is that the burden of working is on you now. Society doesn't want to support people they deem to be capable, even if that is not true.

I agree with Jabberwokky, you need to take control and support yourself in your own way. Working at home online, night shift and part-time work are all options. If you are a great artist, pay a teenager to spend a Saturday morning selling it at a local market, or sell it online. Use a combination of jobs to make money.

These are just some ideas, all of which I've used or am using myself. I nearly killed myself getting a degree and trying to work 9-5. Do what works for you.



Dillogic
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12 Nov 2012, 6:57 am

The school years were worst for me; I hated going, and I left as soon as I was able. I'm glad that social mess is over with.



lonelyguy
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12 Nov 2012, 7:27 pm

Sad to say but you are right..the UK is letting people with Autisim down badly :evil:
I am going through the same right now..there is nothing getting done in the UK to really help adults with AS to try and have a quaility life!..even if your AS is on the mid to low spectrum there is nothing more than the Mental health in the UK..which don't have the skills to deal with adults with AS..it's really time for people to stand up and be counted....or be left behind to rot...It's a boiling pot right now and sooner or later the goverment has to help people with AS in the right way....and getting us the right support we deserve no matter what our age is.



Matt62
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12 Nov 2012, 8:04 pm

At 50, I remember when there were no services AT ALL, aside from being warehoused in mental institutions. Some things have definitely improved, but you are right. Very little aid for adults with autism. Maybe if the lit on us would go PAST puberty we might have more support. But it makes you wonder about how many fell through the cracks over the years,

Sincerely,
Matthew



analyser23
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12 Nov 2012, 8:30 pm

I am a Life Coach, and am starting a branch of my coaching for others on the spectrum, particularly adults. It helps people to get more in touch with who they are to align themselves to a better fitting and more fulfilling life, and self confidence, as well as helping with setting goals, breaking them down, and making them happen.
I have found it extremely helpful for me, working with a coach, particularly because of my executive functioning issues, and I have coached a couple of others on the spectrum myself and they did very well with it also. I have a facebook page called "The Aspie Coach". If anyone is keen, feel free to have a look and/or PM me. I can do it via Skype (audio or video) and also via email. I will be one of the very few Life Coaches for people with an ASD who actually has it herself, too.



JRR
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13 Nov 2012, 12:22 am

I was diagnosed at age 35, and it's not hell for me.

HOWEVER, I began unconsciously coping with it due to a fortunate series of incidents around the age of 14, so I've been working for it for over 20 years, although crudely, and semi-inaccurately, so that might be why it's not as bad as others. However, as indicated, we really have no system to do this right. I *really* need a body language coach (which I have to wait for some time to earn the money) and possibly acting lessons, as I know I'm still not coming off the way I'd like to, in general. This has affected my career to a degree, and dating to an extreme amount. I've trained myself to understand body language recently, which has helped some.



Kaylos
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15 Nov 2012, 10:43 am

It doesn't have to be hell, but you will probably be on your own or only with other aspie support groups like this website. I had to go on a self discovery journey after one failed marriage and another on the brink. I had to learn that the love I was so desperately craving from others had to come from inside first. I had to learn that it was not only ok to fail, it was essential to keep failing. Those who succeed are those who fail the most. The only real failure is to give up. If these sound very generic, they are, because most NTs suck at them too. But they can go a long way to developing your life the way you want it. NTs may not have the same challenges as Aspies, but many of them still fail at this, make themselves the victim, and blame others.

The point is that being slower to learn isn't the same as incapable, and being an Aspie most likely gives you advantages over most NT people in some way. The biggest thing is to hold yourself accountable and not accept excuses, especially those from yourself. Learn to be conscious of not only your weaknesses, but also your unique strengths. It may help also prioritize the things that are important to you. No point in working on weaknesses that don't get you to where you want to go. It is about accentuating your strengths and building your weaknesses that give you the most bang for the effort.

You first need to know what it is you want, and then go after it relentlessly. You'll get there.



Rorberyllium
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15 Nov 2012, 12:08 pm

In Texas you can't even get diagnosed if you're over the age of ten.