Getting along with older adults

Post Reply New Topic

I never got along with groups of older adults (30+). Unless I am over the internet or a similar position in which I need not disclosure my age.

At the training, there a many older adults (mom's of kids and teens) that treat me like a silly kid. I thought it was due to my age, but seemingly this is not the issue.

The many other girls there who are about 15-25 get along just fine when joining a lesson in which many older adults train.

So it's just... me who doesn't get along with this situation.

Why?

I mean, I can talk just fine over the internet with people who are in their 30s or in their 50s! Until they know my age usually, then they're just 'uh, I shouldn't talk to a teen about this'.

Do I act childish? Appear too young in person? Do they see me (in person) as too babyish? Or is it my age?

Or, what just came to my mind: Is it because I'm autistic? And thus appear babyish compared to people younger than me?

?

I always got along better with people in my parents' generation than with people of my own. I also get along well with bright kids who share my interests. My niece, for example, is a cat lover like me.

I'm okay with older (40+), but I have problems with younger (under 27 or so), I feel like I have nothing at all in common with them and just don't know how to talk to them. So I generally just don't.
I'm 33, no kids.

Sora,

How old do you APPEAR to be? I'm in my 40s, and it would be FROWNED on me to talk to a 17 year old at length about many things, and I am not talking about anything crude or sex related. In fact, I am MORE open here that I am in person. I don't even swear.

Anyway, I would feel more free to discuss things with a 20 year old than I would with a 17 year old. It could even be your voice. Quieter or higher pitched voices are sometimes taken as less serious and younger.

Some people that are 30 or older think such people DESERVE more respect, just because of their age, and may look down on you because you are so young. I STILL remember being treated that way when I was FIVE, and I HATED it! I STILL do, and don't do that. BTW I am over 40 now!

BTW in the US, in the 70s, they had a moto or saying..... "Never trust anyone over 30"!

I don't get along well with some old people and do with others. I can't gerneralise either way.

You may be onto something here. Some people tell me I do look younger than 20.

I've been asked whether I was 16 in the cinemas recently too. When my friend who was accompanying me said 'oh, we're 20', I blurted out that 'we sure as hell are NOT 20!'. Since it was another 10 days before our birthdays...

I didn't realise that the cinema staff was checking for our ages... oops.

But most of the women of the training have asked for my grade/age. So I wonder if they just tend to forget maybe?

My voice is also a bit unusual. It is strong, but deep. The exact opposite of most girls' voices.

It seems to be exactly that frequency that people have trouble to hear by background noises even when I scream.


But at the same time, we have all kind of girls at the training. She outgoing and chatty ones, the shy and silent ones... they're all regularly drawn into conversations though. Unlike me.

If people would at least take me seriously!

When I have an injury, I just won't be able to do each bloody exercise. I never ever listened to people trying to 'cheer me up' and 'telling me to just do XY' because 'I can do it!'. I know perfectly well what I can do.


I'll probably buy a sign that says 'Take me seriously. Or else I will evoke drastic measures. Thank you.'

Alternatively, I could buy a brown paper bag to hide my age/appearance!

Don't have that. Older people love me. I get along with them better then those my age.

As a child/teenager I would never have got along with older adults - for me they meant authority and hence I was too scared to talk to them and awkward if they talked to me. This included my own grandparents and aunts/uncles. Even now at 30 I find people more than 10-15 years older than me difficult to talk to in a relaxed way. But then Im not good at talking to people in general.