Shallow Emotions

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Do you know anyone who has shallow emotions? That is, the way they behave is incongruent with the emotions they've expressed verbally or through body language and facial expressions. They seem to lack awareness of the emotional gravity of situations to such an extent that at times you may seriously wonder if they're not insane. They seem to lack a capability to either love or hate despite saying they love or hate someone. In psychiatry, this is called shallow affect, with affect being a fancy word for emotions.

Yes. In real life I know one person like this. He is potentially a psychopath; if not he is at least very disturbed. For example: he rarely finds anything to be funny, and he will force a chuckle at a joke. One thing he DOES find amusing is other people getting hurt.

I used to say that I am emotionally shallow, but that is not accurate based on the definition used by NeantHumain. My "emotional IQ" is on the very low side. ret*d, in fact. I feel emotions strongly, but they are only simple emotions. Happy, sad, angry, etc. They don't seem to have the nuances that other people seem to feel. If this is not "shallow affect," what is it called? Is it just low E-IQ?

Either I have shallow emotions, or I don't know how to handle my emotions. I'm not sure which.

I didn't cry when my stepfather died. I cried for three days when my cat died, and periodically thereafter.
I sometimes laugh while describing incidents of abuse from my childhood. And I can't bring myself to hate the guy who abused me.
I've never romantically loved anyone. I'm told this is normal for about 1 in 500 of the population; but I'm still in the minority.


And yet...
I've been frustrated at the smallest things.
I can panic because of a quiz I'm not prepared for; but a tornado warning or fire leaves me totally calm.
The plight of people I don't even know can make me desperate to help them.
I feel pride, rather than sadness, when someone in a book or movie dies well.
I'm very experienced at controlling my own body and mind: Sometimes, I can even shut off pain sensations.
And yet, I still have "meltdowns".


I'm a bundle of incongruity!

One person I know IRL resembles that description... He's outwardly magnanimous but spiteful and rude in his actions. Laughs at nothing but his own juvenile quips, and appears loathe to acknowlege anyone else's capability or contributions. Shows interest in nothing in which he can't act like he's central, doing somebody a favor, or otherwise inflating his own role and talking about himself.

His lack of empathy led me to wonder briefly if he might be AS, though I decided he must be a narcissist (sometimes mis-dx'd as AS), and a very sad person as well. And he's a psychotherapist (not mine, thankfully). 'Nuff bashing for me, but if you know someone like this you'll realize how hopeless seeking constructive 2-way interaction with them is.

I feel like I have shallow emotions, possibly a borderline psychopath. I am not sure. I used to torture animals as a child and I laugh when someone hurts themselves. I have the inability to form connections with people, at least it takes a while. I'm not violent though sometimes I do think about hurting others. I laugh only because it's expected not because I actually think something is funny. Idk, I'm also the type of person that loves to be conflicted with whatever extreme category of disorder, psychologically, because of idk... I get a kick out of being odd. What's also funny is that I have high morals. Something that I still don't understand. I feel like I have a litany of psychological issues...

I don't have intense emotions at all, but I hope people aren't assuming I am insane because of it.

The only emotion I can even identify is anger... that one is pretty intense sometimes, but it has gotten better since I started taking medication (for depression, not anger). The medication seems to dull any emotions I do have even further, which is quite fine by me since I can't identify what is going on with them anyway.

I have to agree with the above. I tend to identify with having "shallow emotions" as what I feel, if I feel anything at all, is not very intense and does not last very long. However, I am also chronically depressed with a constantly low mood, and have been for years. It's very possible that I am just apathetic.

I think it depends. I can seriously relate to a lot of this but I don't think my anger is shallow and I certainly don't think I'm a psychopath (not at all a risk-taker and I feel fear). I think for some of us, our shallow emotions are a coping mechanism for the overwhelming sensation of feeling truly devastated, terrified (though I think things often bust through this barrier ) , or even, elated. For me personally...I too didn't cry or feel terrifically sad when my great-grandma OR cat passed away, despite being very close to both (seriously), I often laugh at sad or tragic scenes in movies and fake laugh at other's jokes and I find it almost impossible to truly care about or understand someone else's difficulties. I feel like it's simply less mentally demanding to let the emotions wash over me than become truly affected by them. All of that said, once in a great while, a news story about something tragic will really speak to me; usually situations where I wish I'd been there to protect/help someone.

Some of my feelings are intense and some aren't. One thing I noticed from my youth was the joy I'd get from succeeding or winning was never quite as intense as the feelings of anger and sadness I'd experience from failing/losing.

My emotions are "inappropriate." Sometimes they're more shallow than they're "supposed" to be, and at other times they're more intense. I also deal with my emotions in a different way than NTs deal with theirs. I often become distant when I'm emotional - my dog died last year and some people may have believed that I didn't care because I didn't express grief externally on a regular basis. But I did have an intense emotional reaction (and thinking of him can still evoke sadness and general emotional pain).

Lots of my feelings are quite shallow. For instance recently splitting up with my partner didn't cause me sadness really, and I got on as normal. When some family members have died I've found it hard to feel upset about it. I maybe feel a bit sad and I know that it's a sad thing, but I don't really feel much more than that. Other emotions (such as anxiety in reaction to change or not having a routine) are very intense.

I find people falling over and hurting themselves funny, but not if they really hurt themselves. Like if my Dad hits his funny bone or stubs his toe, his reaction is quite funny to watch, but if he was to really hurt himself I wouldn't find that funny.

You could be talking about me. – Animals are a little different, I think. Over the years, I have buried two cats, and both times I cried long. I have a third cat now, four years old, and someday I will bury her, too. It will hurt like hell. But I must be honest and say that I can't be definitely sure if I love my cat or just the idea that I have a cat.

Wow....you have the soul of a warrior. I feel sad if a character I liked/was attached to dies but do feel better if they died with honour than if they did not.

I also have inappropriate emotional reactions to things sometimes like laughing/smiling at something sad or someone being angry(though sometimes this is because I'm not sure if someone's joking or not).

I have found one strange thing about myself that concerns this topic: that I keep changing or altering my behavior and thinking according to a presumed diagnosis. It is subconscious. For a long time, before I found out I meet almost 80-90 percent criteria that concerns Aspergers, I thought that I must be at least a bit sociopathic. As I found out, I am not. But when I thought I was, I sometimes behaved and thought like a psychopath. Without less remorse and empathy. My ability to use a cold, precise (almost brutal) logic even helped to make me think that I am one of them. But it was not me, and I was not happy about it. I could not look at the things I did, so I once again started being "the real ME" - AND IT FEELS SO MUCH REAL!