Confusion

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I don't know whether or not I have asperger's, and it's not for lack of trying to get a diagnosis. I have been in an out of the mental health system since childhood as I was labeled both "gifted" and "emotionally disturbed". I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age as well. They tried playing around with depression, bipolar disorder, etc until they settled on PTSD many years back (the second I left the situation about 80% of my symptoms went away).

When taking the OkCupid Autism Spectrum test linked in the stickied thread, this was my result:

On other tests I've taken I came up as not autistic. My personality type is INTP.

I guess the reason I ask about this is I've always had problems that never quite went away. I have a habit of saying or doing things that make other people go away. Sometimes it's being rude or tactless, other times it's being too obsessive about things nobody cares about. I have gotten into very heated debates with friends, some lasting for 30+ minutes over mundane things nobody should actually care about. I find myself repeating the same mistakes in my relationship over and over again in which I obsess about a person disliking me and then end up sabotaging everything. I don't like myself. Either I'm some sort of huge jerk or there's something different in my brain. I burn bridges.

When I focus on something I blow off most other things for that one thing I care about. This has included work in the past. Other times I will focus so heavily on a problem that I can't deal with going to work because work is a "distraction" to fixing the problem.

I've been to multiple therapists and asperger's has been brought up several times in the past, but I was never given a diagnosis with it because I was a straight-A student and they claimed it did not impair my "daily function". My husband thinks I'm just a little difficult for people to understand. My last therapist said that in order to really understand me most people would need knowledge of psychology because I am not dysfunctional I am just very precise about how I need to be approached.

Maybe this is the result of things that happened in my childhood that made me emotionally disturbed. I don't know. But I'm in my 20s and it hasn't gotten much better. I have less dramatic blow-outs with people than I used to but I still come into the same problem over and over again. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I care far more about things, debates, topics etc than other people do or consider normal. I feel like a freak half the time.

Can anyone offer me any insight?

Nobody?

Er, Hello.

I was misdiagnosed with ADHD when I was a child. Later, a doctor told me that he instantly had me pegged for a Aspie when he saw me (I was in the hospital at the time). I guess I was lucky. I was also in the mental health system from a young age. On medication since eleven years old. I think you know the type.

Whether you believe you are just 'emotionally disturbed' or not, I think you should contact your psychologist (or whoever deals with that aspect of your life) about taking some tests and either confirming or disproving you having Asperger's. I know that you said they have been uncooperative in the past, but you can always say that you need it at least disproved, or get a second opinion from another doctor who is hopefully more open. 'Cause, you sound like a fellow Aspie to me, and there's little worse than being misdiagnosed. Plus, knowing will probably help you a lot emotionally; I was beyond relieved when that question was finally answered.

My doctor describes me as a "high functioning" Aspie (I don't really agree with this term, but that's not the point), and many, when they find out that I am a Aspie they say that I look/act like a normal person. So, I encourage you to look more in-depth.

Not sure if you are new or not, but welcome to WP!

Hi:

Adult + Female means you can have a lot of frustration getting a diagnosis. Check out Tony Atwood's site for a good article on girls and women. I recommend, if you have the resources: find an experienced psychologist who specializes in in AS and is familiar with adult females in the spectrum. I understand your story and oh how I wish I knew then what I know now.

Best wishes.

Thank-you. I think this is a good idea and I'm going to find specialists in the area. I no longer have my old therapist because I moved away.

I get confused because a lot of people attribute my behaviors to my childhood but somehow I get the feeling I've always been like this. Bad things that happened aggravated it, but I was always me.



Holy cow. That article practically describes my entire story word for word. Thank you for recommending it to me.

Obviously I can't diagnose you, but I would say you sound very Aspie. And it's true that females face a lot of obstruction getting diagnosed with AS, in fact are often misdiagnosed.

http://docs.autismresearchcentre.com/pa ... %20ASC.pdf

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/ ... =digest_12 a

http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/girls.html