Back-handed Compliment?

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Recently, I was talking with my sister, and she said at one point, "When I think about how nice and smart you are and I think about your brothers, and I think about a lot of the other people in this world, I honestly have to say that I wish that more people were Autistic or had Aspergers."

Am I wrong to be vaguely Offended by that? Like the fact that I have a disorder that basically negates any chance I have of being comfortable in any kind of social setting is somekind of an advantage over other people?

I think you have the right to be offended.

Yes its a compliment though I can see how you could take it wrong.

Basically just condense it to "I wish more people were like you" and there you have what she meant by it.

You may focus on the social difficulties but theres more to your condition than that and many of the common traits among autistics are things NTs admire like honesty, loyalty and real altruism.

I'd take it as a compliment. She's comparing you to people she doesn't consider nice. Ironic since autistic people are traditionally thought to be without humor, empathy or appropriate emotional expression. That means she is seeing you as a good person inside.

Agree with Fraya and KimJ. It's a compliment.

I agree also! She is basically saying that she feels your attitude, etc... is better that theirs, and she feels more comfortable with you. I can only see one way it could be offensive. That wouldn't make any sense for at least 2 reasons. Fraya is right.

BTW my interpretation would make even more sense if you considered her and yourself
to be smarter and nicer.

Steve

Doesn't sounds like backhanded compliment, in my opinion. I think she was trying to say that she liked the "nice" aspects of autism about you, such as innocence, kindness, and sincerety. As someone pointed out, she meant "I wish there were more people like you".

Well, traditionally, aspies tend to be very logically-minded people that are very fair. We also tend to be rather tolerant and forgiving, and at times, humble. I imagine those qualities are seen and understood by your sister...something that many NT's don't seem to notice. I would definitely take it as a complement

The general reason I probably took it negatively, was because I just started college, (This is the last week of my First semester) and right now it's seeming to me like High-School Ver. 2.0.

See, in high school I was the weird little geek, now that me and others are older and that I still have the 'weird little geek' tendency's, I honestly think that my fellow students view me as the big creepy, stalker.

generally I've been in a negative state of mind for the last few month or so, so when my sister said that too me it's natural that I would dwell on the whole "Oh, so you wish everyone was a creepy, awkward, geek?" part of what she said.

Anyway, that's it.

I'd take it as a compliment. It's not very often that people say good things about ASDs.

I don't think it was back handed. But then, I didn't hear the tone.

She thinks you possess qualities that ordinary people have a shortage of. Perhaps she means to say that those positive qualities outweigh the negatives of autism in her eyes.

From her words it seems she has lumped all your personal characteristics together to form a stereotype of autistic people. Naturally people are more complex than stereotypes. Flaws and strengths are things that all people possess. It is these qualities and not autism that make you, you.

Most people play mind games with those around them, have hidden agendas, like to use people for their own profit. To find someone who is honest, doesn't do mind games, is not out to hurt or use people is the same as finding buried treasure.

It was a compliment. It is nice to find ONE person you can trust and be yourself around and not be afraid of being rejected, ridiculed or stabbed in the back by them.