A little story I want to share

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Hi all.
I had this really amazing experience today that I thought some of you might like to hear about.

Firstly, I'm an Aspie. Most people who meet me today however wouldn't know it as I've learned to adapt to life on the wrong planet (yeah, I did that ) rather well, but believe me, I can lecture on the aerodynamic properties of race cars and the policies of Egyptian Pharoahs like no other .

Secondly, and more importantly, I work as a writing tutor at my university. I help undergraduate and graduate students from all disciplines write papers for their classes while teaching them the nuances of English (and sometimes Spanish) grammar along the way. I love my job and I'm so honored that I have the opportunity to use my talents to help others.

Today, a freshman came in to work on a paper for his history 101 class. The session began as any other; I took down his name, asked him which class the paper was for, and whether or not he wanted me to notify his professor of our meeting. This done, we began discussing his paper. Within seconds, I became aware of a certain uneasiness in his demeanor, a certain sharpness in his voice which said, "I'm really nervous right now." What that voice was articulating however were words of sheer brilliance and the words he had written matched the intelligence of that voice. I realized that I was sitting mere inches from one of my own: an Aspie.

The student continued to speak in his rather uneasy yet metronomically didactic manner. As he spoke, his eyes darted all over the room making contact with everything except the eyes through which I watched his. After he had finished his point, I responded by telling him that his observation was a logical and well-considered one, and I commended him on his apparently vast knowledge of 14th Century Europe. As a history buff myself, I posed a follow-up question to the point he had just made with regard to the implications of the Black Death. At that moment, he gazed directly into my eyes and his face lit up as if it were a sparkler on the 4th of July. He knew that I had actually listened to him and that I had understood what he had been talking about, I knew that I was probably one of the first people in quite some time to do so.

After that moment, his whole demeanor changed. No longer was he timid or nervous, no longer did his eyes somersault their way around the room. He became comfortable within our situation and the way he allowed himself to relax and let down the legendary Aspie guard was so very powerful for me. I understood the fear that he must have felt as he walked downstairs to attend our appointment. I understood the fact that he had probably practiced saying hello to our secretary dozens of times during his trip across campus. I understood the joy he must have felt knowing that there was somebody else in the same room as him who could carry a conversation about feudal Europe. In short, I understood him and I was so very priviledged to have been able to show him that he can be appreciated for what he is capable of, which was quite a lot.

When our session ended and he had left, I knew that something amazing had just happened and that I had just truly helped somebody. He reminded me of who I am and how far I've come as a person, student, and as an Aspie too. He gave me one of the greatest moments of my tutoring career and I am surely going to remember it for quite a long time.

We are different, yes, but we are not defective. We are shy, but we are not anti-social. We are Aspies and we had no choice in the matter. To the neurotypicals of the world, please know this and please remember that although we may have been put on the wrong planet, we have so very much to share with the world.

This was so powerful and something I really needed to see tonight. Thank you for sharing!

I'm absolutely fascinated to know whether you actually came out and admitted your Aspieness to one another? Or was it just that unspoken knowing?

Tears. We always want to be judged on merits, rather than the invisible yardstick.

It's funny, because while I understand what you're saying, this sounds kind of oxymoronic. "Apsiness" and "unspoken knowing" in the same sentence.

Nope, neither of us did. I suppose that it matters how self-aware a given Aspie is to be able to recognize others in similar circumstances. It is a bit of an oxymoron, but it was very much an unspoken implied understanding.

Ah, I see. So it's an intuition really that you both knew? I guess it could also have been just that as an Aspie, we find so few people "get us" and we do feel like the proverbial alien, so when someone seems to click with us we feel a relief, or happiness about it - but have no way of knowing for sure that they are definitely Aspie.

Either way, what a nice moment.

I see your point. No, I do not know empirically that he was an Aspie, but having lived as one for my entire life and having educated myself on the condition to a very high degree, it was plain to me that he exhibited all of the stereotypically "classic" Aspie traits. I tailored my teaching strategies to compensate for this during our session and he responded very favorably.

It does go against Aspie 1+1=2 logic, but I am 100% confident that my determination as to my student's Aspieness was correct.