Broadening change

Post Reply New Topic

When faced with uprooting significant change, is anyone else suddenly overcome with deeeep overbearing horror with a dash of distaste?
Like I've gravely upset this internal sentience in charge of practically all self-sovereignty I've allowed myself to believe was under my control, and it's threatening to murder all meaning in motivation in every aspect I've ever come to know. Turning me into some high functioning vegetable.

It's f****d because I'm turned on by the prospect of landing on new borders before strange lands (metaphorically and literally), but then I'm paralyzed by this awful sickening, and I swear I'm on the verge of puking.

It disgusts me.

Is this an Asperger's thang? Or is this just common for those whose bodies have an affinity to routine?

It's some of both. Just recently, the second or third scariest time of my life was immediately after interviews with Google. I'm not sure that's over for me either, for now I'm exclusively thankful that I remain in the same state as my brilliantly gutsy friends, because I may possess computing talent but I am WAY better at being a dirty hippie, and I hold out hope of finding a girl to share my hippie dirt with.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

As the meter runs out, most people regret the things they didn't do instead of done, so puke then ring the bell. The unlived life isn't worth examining.

I agree that the best option is to trudge ahead despite opposition. And I'd never let this terror be the reason for not pursuing opportunity.
I should mention, it isn't fear, it's spirit crushing. So powerful, that I swear I come down with some kind of clinical depression for up to 2 months after the change. I just wanted to see if anyone else shared this. Finding out if this is an aspie thing or not could help lead me to its origin.

I am not afraid of changes that I caused, e.g. life change due to good opportunity pursued by me.

I am afraid of changes caused by others, e.g. location and orientation of object changing due to interference by others.

Sometimes I think all this is a product of visual minds trying to orientate themselves in social spaces - of course, socialization is relativistic, so I'm not sure this can be defined in such terms. Why don't they just call it Occam's Razor disorder?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I should mention it's not really a fear per se. It's more like there's someone terrorizing and torturing me from the inside. In any case, it applies regardless or whether change is induced by myself or applied by someone else.

Hey cberg, could you please elaborate on your first statement? I'm not catching on as to how a visual aspect relates to "social spaces."
Same goes for you reference to Occam's Razor. Are you mentioning the difficulty we might experience in accepting the outward simplicity in things that others do so easily?