Touch Sensitivity

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Having only recently discovered my AS, one of the traits I thought I was missing was touch sensitivity. I did have some serious big issues with this as a child but I thought I grew out of that one. Then, the other day, I realised - although I can hold my wife's hand etc, unexpected contact still makes me seriously uncomfortable. I try not to show it but, if a person brushes past me or a person on the bus accidentally lightly elbows me or even if I reach to undo my seatbelt and my wife is doing so at the same time and our hands collide I feel very very frustrated, uncomfortable and angry. I understand that other people do not react to these things so I try to keep it to myself but this does not always work and, as soon as I mentioned this to my wife she agreed and explained all the ways she has had to learn to avoid triggering this. Another example is having anything placed over me. If I am still in bed and my wife has already got up and happens to lightly place an item or to of clothing on the bed over my legs, I cannot stand it.

I just wondered how touch sensitivity affected other aspies. Are my issues quite common or is it usually different?

Thanks

Si

That's how I feel when people touch me in certain ways. For instance if someone bumps into me or unexpectedly grabs me. A couple of times I've had family friends who I knew fairly well start rubbing my shoulder for no apparent reason. My first reaction was, "This is extremely weird, but it feels really good." So I liked it a lot as far as comfort. Other times someone can barely brush me and it annoys me a lot. If someone jabs or tickles me that is extremely annoying. I'm thinking it's normal for aspies.

I have this too. Recently I had a panic attack because someone repeatedly brushed against me, it was too bright and noisy and someone else jumped on me from behind and hugged me.

Don't worry, you're not alone!

Yes, I don't like being touched unless I initiate contact. I also can't stand anything in front of my face or touching my face.

Touch is my biggest sensory issue.

It caused a lot of problems in past relationships as for example partners would stroke my arm and I'd wince or get annoyed at them it they kept trying to make contact - of course their response was always to be offended that I didn't want them touching me or they'd continue doing it without recognising how it was effecting me and then they'd get mad at me when I'd end-up being bitchy with them out of frustration. My ex was also a drummer...not just in the sense that he did in fact play the drums, but he had ADHD so drummed on E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G all the time, I got used to this so it didn't bother me more of the time...but he'd drum on the bench we'd be sitting on or the table I'd be leading on, this was a horrific feeling for me but he refused to stop doing this, then add a few other things he'd do to wind me up I'd end up really mad and be very bitchy towards him...but all he acknowledged was my being unpleasant with him, not that he was making me that way.

As a note: I can sometimes be a horrible person to be around.

Clothing is an issue for me - I have to wear shape-slimming tops as they're tight, I've never been comfortable in baggy clothes or having clothing on my chest, neck or arms, and my legs get itchy as hell walking as a result of my jeans toughing my legs...even more fun as I suffer from restless leg syndrome so between that and my sensory issues I sometimes feel like chopping off my legs.

I hate being touched

Having escaped diagnosis for many years, I also believed that I had no touch sensitivities. But I do, although they are not very bad. There are types of clothing I simply cannot stand on my skin. I also cannot sit in an uncomfortable position for a long time, as my limbs start to hurt. I also have a very low threshold for pain, much lower than most people's.

I love hugging, caressing and kissing people. I also love holding hands. I never had sex, so I do not whether I would feel comfortable with sexual touch. But I dislike all other kinds of touch between humans. And I startle easily if I am touched with being aware beforehand.

I don't like unexpected touch either. I can't touch anybody besides my wife and children. I can cope with a hand shake. I hate somebody standing within close proximity, I really don't like somebody standing behind me when I'm using a computer. Sitting down at a meeting with somebody is like torture.

I don't like unexpected skin contact and hate having someone stand behind me as well. I try to always sit with my back to a wall.

I can be very cuddly and affectionate but it takes me a while to get used to the person before I can do it. If I started dating someone he'd have to wait a few dates before holding my hand. Any pushiness and I'd never feel comfortable with them.

And like Bloodheart mentioned, my clothes are all tight-fitting. Coats and cardis have to go on over a tight underlayer. It shows under my top that my bra is too tight, but it isn't comfortable any looser. Same as sleeping, I can't wear anything other than vest & underpants in bed as sleepwear is too loose and tangles around me. The blankets have to be tucked in tightly as well.