Any good self-improvement books to recommend??

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I don't mean books specifically tailored towards Aspergers, like "Aspergers on the Job" or that sort of thing...but rather, books that you have found helpful to overcome some of your challenges. For me, Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was a great read - my Dad recommended this to me in the late 90s shortly before my Dx - and I found a lot of valuable lessons that I was able to put into practice. Such as, the power of praise, being discrete about tcertain things, how to deal with situations perceived as unfair in a tactful manner, and avoiding correcting those who stated something incorrectly (esp. in front of their peers and what not). These were lessons I could, and did, apply well b/c they didn't necessarily involve spontaneous processing of the big picture / situations, so I could handily incorporate them into my behaviours.

That book has been around for a while, but its lessons are still very much valid.

Another one I haven't yet read, but mean to someday, is Stephen Covey's 7 Habits. The one in particular about "Begin with the end in mind" and "put first things first" could help with executive dysfunction or being guided by the "why" of a situation (but again, maybe not so much the dynamic or spontaneous/unplanned aspects of it).

Granted, many of these self-improvement books are written with neurotypical audiences in mind, but I believe there is always some lesson to be garnered which is applicable to us Aspies. Since we have an innate love of learning. It's just applying the knowledge that can be tricky sometimes.

So, if you have any such book recommendations in mind (and how they helped you) - I'd love to hear your recoms & opinions!!

Well I'm currently reading "The Fine Art of Small Talk". It's seems to be pretty helpful. There are responses to questions that I can memorize and explains a lot...

i included such thing in the past. check out my history.

Find yourself a plain English Version of the Holy Bible. One which leaves out some of the Olyde English stuff. I have one called the Book which is very good. Anyway read that from Romans through Revelation then look at the maps and go back to the first part called Genesis and read it on through to Revelation one more time. You will be a much better person when done. Learn a lot of super kewlish factoids etc. Give it a try. Best of fortunes on the search.

Umm...yeeaaahhhh....somehow, I don't think the Bible imparts any wisdom on how to fit into society and understand its unspoken norms in this or that context. The Bible's core message was love thy neighbour unconditionally, including "the great unwashed". So, if anything, it's more of an untaken lesson for NTs, than it is a lesson yet to be taken by us.

Jayo,

It's not a book but......The succeedsocially.com website has lots of tips on how to make friends and socialise better.

cheers,

My therapist recommended to me a book called Leave Your Mind Behind by Matthew McKay, Phd. It is very short. About 100 pages. Mostly CBT style thought exercises.

I think Dale Carnegie's book is timeless.

I also liked this book as a general 'how to' for conversation. The 'little tricks' are easy to remember. Some of it does get a bit much in regards to political manoeuvring, but the start of the book is the best with simple conversation tricks.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

This is a good book that explains sensitivity. It's not really a 'how to' but it's great for gaining a better understanding of yourself which in turn helps to build confidence and acceptance so you can choose to have a better lifestyle.

The Highly Sensitive Person

This is a great book that explains a lot of the reasons for why people do what they do. Again, it's more about gaining knowledge about how things work for most people so you can navigate the world easier. It's very concise so it's easy to take in.

A Field Guide to Earthlings: An autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behavior

This is book written for security purposes. It's quite in-depth but it's a very interesting read. I like it because it's basically a psychology book for IT people.

Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking

The Bible is best.

"The Power of Less" by Leo Babauta.

I'd like to dedicate the 23rd chapter of the gospel of Matthew (especially verse 15) to anyone who suggests the Bible as a self-help book.

(if you can't actually read it, there are translations available, though most Muslims begin memorizing the entire Quran in its original language at the age of 6 or so, so it's a bit sad if you can't read the Bible but consider yourself better than a Muslim.)

--

that said, "Calming Your Anxious Mind" by Jeffrey Brantley, MD comes highly recommended. it combines the best of modern psychiatry with advice gleaned from Buddhist meditation practitioners and my therapist gives it out like candy.

Speaking of bible factiods, did you know that the term 'neighbour' is now thought to be a slight mistranslation of a term for religious brethren? A better translation might be "Love and look out for your fellow Christians...at the expense of heretics and non believers". That puts it largely in line with the gist of the other Abrahamic religions' ruthlessness. Personally I find religion fascinating but in the same detached way that I ponder fanatical football tribalism. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs of course but mine is that we should have grown out of this stuff in the dark ages.

(End rant)

hey now, Quakers and Sufis and Lingayats and Buddhists and so on are lovely people. I think it has something to do with having enough time to sit down and come up with a reasonable philosophy and not worrying so much about something eating your goats or running off with "your" women. rich people have more time to think, and in the stone ages, rice farmers were head and shoulders above goat-herders.

The Bible? No.

Aspies take everything wayyy too literally to be trusted with the Old Testament.

..

Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 04 Dec 2012, 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I believe Allan Please wrote a book about body language. I read it when I was young and it really helped with eye contact and learning about personal space, etc...