Old aspie vs young aspie

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I read that the older generation aspies could fit in the society much better and were often married while the more recent ones are the exact opposite. Apparently it's because the society has changed to be more demanding. Any thoughts on this?

I figured it was because they tried so hard to make it and they didn't. Back then there was no label for their problems so they didn't really have an "excuse" and a leg to stand on. I am convinced that so many young aspies use it as an excuse and quit trying. Why were things so different then vs now so that is why I have that opinion. Plus also parents treat their kids like the label so their kids learn to use it as an excuse.

Plus education was different then. You didn't have to go to college for lot of things and now they require some sort of degree and experience. School work was more concrete so I may have done fine back then in school.

The more recent ones are still very young! Wait until the current generation is 35 or 40 before making such comparisons.

We often have married, and worked our way into a degree of comfort, but that doesn't mean we hit the milestones on the NT's schedule, or indeed any more quickly than the current generation, by any means. I jumped into my first marriage at age 22 to avoid being a failure. It took me 5 years to realize that the vertical head movement he displayed did not signify agreement -- it meant he had no clue what I was yammering about. When that doomed marriage eventually failed, I was able to stand on my own two feet after a fashion. I didn't really start to find my feet until my mid 30's. At 40 I remarried and went back to school to study computers, and after graduation I held down a full time job as a PC tech, then Network Administrator for 10 years total before being down-sized.

The brutal truth is many spectrumites of my generation or before didn't achieve success or independence -- often living with family most of their life if they were lucky. Keep in mind that not that long ago, anyone who was unlikely to achieve independence was often institutionalized and out of sight. Today the more severe cases are much more obvious because they are still out among us, not locked away.

I think it's more to do with social norms - back in the day, people got married much younger and almost everyone married because that was just what you did - gay people would have been more likely to get married too whereas now, it's more socially acceptable to wait and 'enjoy your life' before settling down, if ever. People aren't looked down upon or seen as strange if they are single at 35.

Younger aspies DO HAVE to deal with many more environmental stressors, like cell phones, packaged processed foods, computers... plus their parents health lifestyle [and reproductive health] at time of conception [from 80's-90's] was already deteriorating

Older aspies were running around skinning their knees, eating meat and 3 veg and were probably much healthier

I think this is a result of bias - only successfully adapted older people present themselves for an AS diagnosis (such as when their children are diagnosed), so knowledge of older people with AS is limited. Unsuccessfully adapted people probably are not diagnosed. (You can't interview people who killed themselves, for example.) With young people, the diagnoses happen so early that a much wider population is known.

It's not because society has changed. Young aspies like me need to become adults; I'm sure than "old aspies" had more problems when they were younger, too.

^This.

Back in the 1960s to the 1970s, I had no idea what was 'wrong' with me, even though the adults of the time were more than ready with labels of 'lazy', 'ret*d', 'slow', 'stupid' and similar concepts. I had to work twice as hard as my peers just to keep up with them, and until recently I thought it was all my fault.

There was no self-esteem based curriculum back then. If you failed, you were punished or (worse) placed in the "Special Ed" class until shame drove you to try harder. There was no, "Aww ... he has AS, so don't push him too hard". There was, however, a lot of standing you up in front of the class to lecture you on being a day-dreamer, a trouble-maker, and no one deserving any special treatment just because you were a little slower to grasp the concepts being taught.

I had no excuse, so I tried harder; that's all.

Well, of course society has changed. If anything, it has become more AS-friendly. ("When I was your age, we couldn't meet people or find out information online! There was no texting!" etc)


^^^this^^^. Compare us 40-year-olds now, to you when you are 40. Or compare us at 20 years old, to 20-year-olds now.

Also, what is up with this inline linking? I didn't add any links. Dangit.

I'm not sure if that is true, but it may be.
I don't know if I am old, or even if I am an aspie. I am 43.
I think that if I had gone to school today things would have been much worse for me. The system in my old school was much stricter and more rigid, and that suited me. I was an outsider, but my school work was very good and I enjoyed it.
Also, there was virtually no group work. By the time I was supposed to study at university this group work idea was getting popular, and it was horrible, and it went completely wrong for me.
Modern schools are obsessed with group activities - that must be hell for teens with aspergers!

Maybe early diagnosis is also a reason why modern kids are not fitting in so much; perhaps the label makes other less likely to expect a child to 'fit in'. I think that is a good thing. I was obviously not diagnosed -the diagnosis did not even exist then- and I've been told many times that I was rude,selfish, lazy, antisocial, 'hysterical', difficult, and more such things. I tried to kill myself when I was 12.

And like others have pointed out, young aspies may still mature.
I know I learned a lot since was a kid, and I don't stand out as much as I used to.

As for marriage: less people marry now than in the past, so perhaps that goes for both aspergers people and neurotypical people? Nowadays most people marry because they reckon their partner will make there life better. In the past people married just because that was what you do, and did not even think about whether their partner would make their life better or worse.

All too often the shame drove those who just couldn't try any harder to choose suicide instead, as the last viable option left open. One of the "in group" I ran with in high school (the group of social misfits/outcasts), one of our brightest and most driven misfits, killed himself the next year after graduation. Looking back, I have no doubt he was a on the spectrum. He seldom made eye contact, had a delightfully off the wall sense of humor, and paced with the best of us during exam preparation.

When I was in my early 20's I had as much trouble as my best friend's daughter is now. The major difference is I thought I was a lazy no-good failure, and she accepts and values herself as she is. This makes a major difference in happiness level, and instead of bailing into a marriage to avoid being a failure, she will marry her high school sweetheart for love, when they are ready.

I think maybe the awareness of Aspergers has been increased. When I was a younger person there was no such thing as someone with Aspergers. Even if you could tell you did not fit in, you were still expected to be a contributing part of society. No allowances were made because someone was different. It took me until my mid 30s to find viable employment. I feel someone diagnosed today has much more help available to them. I think this is a major improvement whereas someone with Aspergers 30+ years ago was just viewed as a mentally defective person

Back then, suicide was not as much of an option as it is now. At least, I knew of no person committing suicide from my class (1975) or my community until the late 1990s. For some strange reason, suicide has been glamorized to such an extent that it seems to be the only option that some people consider. It was never an option for me.

It was an option. It just wasn't talked about back then. I would not have known about my classmate had I not discovered his gravestone near my mother's, and researched it.

I've found this with everyone. All of my (adult) cousins are aged between 18 and 26, and believe it or not, none of them are married or have any kids or have even moved out, the only thing they got is jobs, and they are all NTs. But all their parents were all married and moved out and had kids when they were the age we are now. It just seemed easier back then I suppose. Perhaps people have become more shallow now, so you have to try a bit harder to find the right partner you want, and I suppose moving out is harder for youngsters now (as it says in the newspapers often).

Also my auntie (who we all know she has a lot of typical Aspie traits) used to have such a big social life when she was younger (although she hasn't got any friends now and fails to keep relationships going). Fat chance of a social life I ever had as a teenager, even if I tried.