Am I an Aspie?

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Hello, recently I've done the test on rdosdotnet and it turned out I'm very likely to be an Aspie (117/200).

I've always felt I was different. I've always had a hard time understanding human interactions, motives of certain behaviors and relationships in general. As for empathy, I mostly feel it for my mom, with whom I'm really close. I only feel great around my good friends. I can hold my own in a social setting but it's very exhausting. I don't go out partying, I don't like socializing, I have little need for it. I've always felt like activities ''normal'' people do are not meant for me. I matured quite early, had little need to chase girls, I spent my teenage years at home, the times I got out were tiring for the most part and I went out mainly because I wanted to see what is so appealing in particular activities. I've always over analyzed things.

As for relationships with girls, I don't do well. I have very difficult time understanding how those relationships work. I've always thought it's like I like a girl, she likes me, that's it. But it's not like that, I've never had a girlfriend, I'm 21. Physical contact is strange to me, it's uncomfortable. I've always looked at human interactions on a mechanic/logical level, I don't know how to flirt, I don't know hot to read body language, I can't stand to look people in the eye. For that matter, I don't like looking at people in general, even if they can't see me. I sometimes hate standing in public, I want to curl up and become invisible.

I'm often aloof, lost in my own world, pondering something. I often can't sleep because my thoughts go wild. My interests are based around computers, I have absolutely no inclination towards picking up any sports or activities even though I'm good at sports. I am a bit clumsy and often perplexed when introduced to a new activity. I'm talented for languages, not numbers and math. I don't like ''exact'' sciences, I'm more into abstract since I have a tendency to make little mistakes when it comes to precision activities and abstract lets my mind work. I have a feeling like I'm close to the top but something always stops me from reaching it.

My handwriting is abysmal, it seems fine to me, but other people hardly understand it. As for reading, I read really fast, I've always had very high results in words read per minute. I find it hard to sit completely still, I always have to do something, like twirling a pen, or shaking a leg. I don't know where to put my arms when walking, I feel so awkward when I'm not wearing a backpack because there are no straps I can hold.

I'm generally quite organized although I don't make physical lists or schedules, I keep everything in my head. I procrastinate sometimes, but I'm a successful double major college student. I never had academic troubles, except with math, I would always study for a short time but get good grades. I'm not creative, I'm pragmatic. I can't draw. Light makes me nervous, uneasy, I always darken my room. During the summer, I put a dark blanket on my window to stop the light from coming in.

During early childhood, I would socialize, I would play soccer, but I never had a big group I socialized with, mainly with one or two friends. As I was growing up, my need for socialization waned. Now I socialize only with my best friends. I don't go out to meet new friends, I don't strive towards having many, I've never had the need to have many.


So, would you say I have Asperger's? I will answer any questions.

I'm not officially diagnosed so I can't comment beyond saying that you sound very much like me and certainly have plenty of the symptoms I've come to associate with Asperger's syndrome. I think an important part of Asperger's diagnosis criteria, is that the symptoms be debilitating to an extent, causing "clinically significant impairments in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning." That's probably a pretty subjective thing to determine if it's in the grey area (i.e. you said you only socialize with best friends and don't go out to meet new people). For me, though, it was obvious as I can't hold a job, dropped out of college after three years and see 'friends' perhaps five times a year bug I've certainly read forum posts by people with AS on here that were substantially more optimistic about their lives. Anyway, check out the DSM-IV criteria for being diagnosed with Asperger's: http://www.autreat.com/dsm4-aspergers.html and if you fit the requirements and could accurately convey those issues to an assessor, you'd certainly be diagnosed. I hope you find as much help on WrongPlanet as I have thus far .

Tommy, you sound pretty much exactly like me when I was your age, about seven years ago. I just got diagnosed myself last week, so I would say it would be worth pursuing if you have the means. If you live in the New York City area, there's a study being conducted at Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx I could put you in touch with.

Anyway, good luck, and definitely pursue this. You sound....very much like me.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010 ... th-autism/

Here is a New York Times article about dating that may interest you--be sure to read the comments.

Yes, what you say makes a lot of sense and thanks for replying. My condition causes some problems and used to cause a lot more, but I've worked hard to surpass them. I'm not academically impaired but I must say that objectively speaking, I'm missing out on a lot of things in my young life because I have no interest to pursue them, they're unappealing to me. As for jobs, I've never had one, I'm too scared to talk to strangers on the phone, I always think I'll mess up even things I really good with, e.g. I'm great with languages, but I don't dare to do translations for money. I will not go out and mingle and get jobs, no, I send emails, but the job gets taken by the one who calls or comes in person, I'm too scared to do that. During my development, I've missed out on interactions with girls because they didn't interest me, I played video games while my classmates went to parties to kiss girls. My standards for girls are ridiculously high, if I find a slightest flaw, I'll lose interest and I always find flaws, that's the first thing I do. I have no drive to go out to meet people, to pick up hobbies, to ''live'' life. I'm well aware of that but I'm quite satisfied with my situation nevertheless. So yeah, I think AS might have caused a lot of these things I've mentioned and there are some more but these are the brunt of the problem.

i dont think it's helpful to assure someone they have aspergers when you are self diagnosed yourself. (facepalm)

Tommy,

It sounds like you are a loner - that's OK!

Are there things you would like to do that you are not doing now?

Do you feel broken?

Sounds like you might have a degree of social anxiety - beyond that who knows?