Are you an honest Aspie or not?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm interested to get an idea of ratio. As we all know, a lot of Aspies are honest to a fault (literally), but there are some who lie because of their lack of empathy for the impact of the lie on others (Tony Attwood).

I can't vote either; I'm in the middle. I'm an avoider; don't like confrontation. I'll lie to protect myself, but I'm not very good at it and it causes me an incredible amount of stress. It makes me wish I was not an avoidant personality. I struggle with it.

I lie mostly to get out of social engagements. Generally, I'm not honest, far from it actually, I'm unhealthily passive-aggressive and will only confront someone when I snap, and I when I snap, it gets bad, but it takes a lot to make me snap. I also generally dislike ''honest'' people because they make useless remarks and act as though I care about their irrelevant opinion about an irrelevant thing. Unless your honest remark has a strong pragmatic point to it, don't do it.

I don't like to lie and I am not very good at it. But I have lied and am able to lie.

For the most part, yes, I'm honest to a fault.

However, it's usually not intentional and/or done out of any sense of moral obligation.

NT: "Do these pants make me look fat?"

Me: "No. Your body fat makes you look fat."

There's no option in the pool for me. I usually don't lie, and I hate doing it because I suck at it, but if it's necessary, yes, I will lie. But people can easily understand that I'm lying, because, as I said, I suck at it. I lied very few times in all my life, and people didn't believe me most of the times.

I seldom lie. When I do lie, I think I feel worse about it than most people would in the same circumstances. Maybe this is why I avoid it. I sometimes rationalize to make myself feel better if I am lying i.e I'm playing a game when I should be studying. My mother says, "Honey, what are you doing?" I quickly switch tabs to studying and then say I'm studying since technically I am studying when I say it. In my opinion, this is dishonesty, but I just don't feel quite as bad about it when I do the rationalize things.

I can lie but I don't lie because I ''lack empathy'' (whatever that's supposed to mean), I just lie if I have to, like to save someone's feelings or to save me or someone else from getting into trouble, et cetera. I don't lie in every situation, and neither do NTs. In fact NTs are generally honest and only lie sometimes. People who lie all the time get a bad name for themselves and usually get gossiped about, and people soon lose respect for them because it's not very nice to lie about anything and everything just for the sake of lying.

no i am not, but i say that in jest.

I can lie, but I do not remember the last time I lied; I usually tell the truth even if it will not do me any good. However, I do not think lying is wrong; in fact, there is no right or wrong except for your own personal sense of right and wrong. And the law, because jail does not look like a good place to be.

In other words, I almost never lie, but that is only because of my own strange sense of right and wrong. You could say I have a blue and orange morality.

I lie if I think lying will do more good than harm, however, this seldom happens because I think the truth is usually ultimately better. However, if my pedagogs ask me: "Have you done the laundry?", I might lie and say yes because I'm too lazy to actually do it!

The following statement is true:
The above statement is false.

I dislike lying, but there are many things I dislike much more and to avoid those I often lie.

A very Aspie comment . Sadly, I've realised through life experiences that it's not true. Many people lie for many different reasons, often we may not get to find out about the lie if it didn't directly affect us. I'm not talking about pathological liars who have some sort of mental reason to be like that, I mean people will lie to better their career, lie to save themselves, lie to ingratiate themselves, lie to get or keep a relationship, to get power or money etc. etc. I probably used to believe the best in people once upon a time, until I found out from experience that people are just not nice in that way, which is why I reached the conclusion I have. I don't mean only from my own experiences either, from hearing about the experiences of others too.

Tony Attwood says in The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome "I would add that the apparent paranoia in children and adults with Asperger’s syndrome might also be due to very real social experiences..." which probably applies to me. I have never been able to understand why people are like they are, because I am so honest and I can't see the need to be any other way. Having said that, my honesty has meant that I haven't got ahead in life because I don't really know how to lie and if I try it's unconvincing. Evidence enough to support what I say about NTs generally lying.

Attwood is full of it if he is saying that aspie lie because of lack of empathy. But thats another subject.

If you're going to go with this idea that aspies gravitate to two poles- one being brutally honest (but guiless), and the other being something akin to a sociopath-then I would be pretty close to the guiless/tactless end of the spectrum.

I'm in the middle. I'll lie if I'm worried.
I can sometimes be too honest. E.G:
NT: My hair feels horrible today.
Me: It is.
OR
NT: My hands are warm.
Me: Did you know that overweight people are more likely to have warm hands?