Expected but unwanted and unexpected change

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How are you with both?
I react differently to each of them, depending on context, expected but unwanted change/part of a routine becomes worse in my mind than it usually turns out to be. It's usually followed by a low mood. Yet I have this standard reaction every time, I dont think about it until I have to and that's helped by lessening the time I spend overthinking every detail.

Unexpected depends on the context but if it's an area I have challenges in, I tend to feel instantly overwhelmed.

How do you manage expected change?

Depends on how much forewarning I have, and how large the change is.
Every time I’ve had to move house I’ve withdrawn and hit a creative low where I produce virtually nothing.

Holidays are nice, but having been out of my routine means it can take me a month or longer to get back on top of things.

Smaller stuff like an evening out at the theatre I’ve found I can plan around so that they’re not an issue, but only really worked that one out in the last two years!

And remembering to contact customers again after the winter break in my work schedule is always a bit erratic and messy.

Sudden requirements to change from my routine right now are totally perplexing and tend to leave me feeling lost and uncertain as to what it is that’s really happening.

when i need a hands' help in a thought-out plan, i need to have changed that plan for the "help in innovating"
then that falls flat and its my fault ofcourse and i must fix it myself
why oh why does that keep happening, don't be forgiving??
don't be accomodating, but thats also not wishworthy
if i stand my ground on how-to the needed hand will walk away

chaos is the name of thy frenemy

I hate change with a vengeance. I need and love the familiar, the predictable, which doesn't fare well with the society I live in that thrives on new experiences and possessions and upgrading and not fixing. I love the same people, restaurants, places, I am a real bore to most friends because of that. I am loyal to my 30 year old gadgets and furniture and of course to all my old friends. I get anxious if I need to change my routine and travel or fix something that breaks or needs maintaining. Usually needing to help friends will break the impasse of inertia and be the catalyst to leaving my comfort zone, or financial necessity. The simpler things are the more I like them. Sometimes I wonder if I have AS traits, I really do.

I find both stressful, uncomfortable, but doable most the time, so long as its not happening all the time.

Historically, I've had a lot of trouble with the latter, but during the past year I've improved incredibly in being able to adapt to changes in routine. A year or two ago I became stressed if my ride so much as took a different route and nearly melted down if it turned out that I was going somewhere other than expected. These days, however, I manage to adapt pretty well - I still get stressed a bit in the same situations, but I've learned how to cope with the stress so that it doesn't escalate. I think a lot of that progress is due to the fact that I started forcing myself to be spontaneous more often. It was kind of like "retraining" myself. Being in control of the changes made it easier to readjust how I responded to them. It took a prolonged effort to make any progress with it, but it was worth it.

I handle semi-dramatic, expected change less well - even rearranging my room causes me a ridiculous amount of anxiety for days. Changing classes and teachers this semester was hard, too. The best coping method I've come up with is to establish a routine as soon as possible and find someplace to take a break from all the newness every day. It doesn't erase the stress, but it prevents it from building to a degree where it seriously interferes with my ability to function.

I hate change, despise it with a passion. But on the other hand the way I survive is to adapt to change. I have found I am rather good at that. I am by nature a problem solver. The more wins I get under the belt, the more I feel confident that I can solve whatever problem or change comes my way.

I hate change too, I wish that life would stand still long enough for those who lack /have adaptive/ the killer instinct to survive though.
I fortunately or depending on your perspective, unfortunately can adapt, though I estimate this to be a survival/ conditioning response.

Teach, there are so many cross overs between CPTSD and HFA, it would take time and considered reflection to identify the cause/ nature link.

I deal with the first by mobilising all my resources, planing and doing all that's needed, then crashing afterwards. I basically spend all that time in a heightened state of alert and will stay that way until I feel it's safe to let go - it's very taxing. Depending on how "unwanted" the change is it might take me a while to get to terms with it or if I think I stand a chance I might try to fight it.

Unexpected change... it really depends. It's always stressful and I dislike even pleasant surprises but how I deal with it really depends on what kind of change it is and its magnitude. If it's small and manageable it will only cause a small and manageable amount of stress, I became fairly adaptable with age and experience, at least compared to how I used to be.

Sudden change is bad for obvious reasons. When I know in advance anxiety stressing over and replaying possible outcomes happens.

I find it difficult to handle holidays like Christmas and Easter. It even says so on my diagnostic report.

Unexpected:
Anxiety, mutism, catastrophising, withdrawal and avoidance as much as possible, heightened sensory awareness, heightened tinnitus, anger or hostility depending on the situation, disbelief, insecurity, confusion and careless mistakes, checking for triggers, fight or flight response, internalisation, self-blame, possible panic attack or meltdown. Body-Focused repetitive behaviours to calm nervous system.

Vent to someone online afterward.

Expected:
Dreading all of the above. Add in stimming.

I guess I have a fairly normal/standard ASD reaction, I think I've been internalising too much of it though, it leaks out as a low mood or reactive depression for 3 days or so.
More exposure to change than necessary isnt helping and uses up resources which could be better spent, I think there is a better balance to be had in my case.