Asperger's people described as "weak"??

Post Reply New Topic

Has anyone here been described as or told that they're "weak"? I don't mean so much the physical stereotype like Sheldon Cooper or George McFly, but based on certain misconceptions about us. I've been called this a few times, not so much recently but more <25 years old, and it was based on me openly talking about certain anxieties to people in my circle, or even acquaintances. Like I'm worried that if I go to some house party, some a***ole is gonna give me a hard time, or having to deal with stress and balancing stuff that I have to get done, or standing up to bullies (including the workplace) because I already know I'm not the most popular person so I'm more likely to exacerbate the situation in the eyes of peers, so why rock the boat.

I would replace the word "weak" with "wise" in many of these situations. If you KNOW where you stand, what your challenges are, what your past experiences have been like and retain that knowledge and apply it, then that doesn't necessarily make you weak. In fact, to me, "weak" is a very relative term - not an absolute one as some NTs use it - for instance, in spite of past negative social interactions I could still go to a party and make some attempt at conversation with others but don't stay long, that doesn't make me weak in a relative sense for an Aspie, but it might make me appear so from the NT perspective. As for standing up to bullies, a simple "that's inappropriate" tends to work, but as soon as you tell them that you have Aspergers and would appreciate not being treated like that, THEN you appear weak. Ironically. It's just an illusion.

Maybe it's just a label that people with any mental health challenge get slapped with; not just unique to Aspergers. But I get the impression that it's more frequent with us. (i.e., "just be stronger, and get over it already!!" aaarrghh).

I call myself weak and then I call myself strong when I do things like an NT and deal with the stress and anxiety without letting it stop me and going to work even when I don't feel like it and not even hiding in a closet to do my meltdowns because I know that won't make me get my work done any faster so I be strong and work and I work faster to catch up. I made myself strong the other week by being very flexible by doing two other things out of my routine and what I got in return was being very tired for the rest of the day and the next day after that. But I was weak after that because I wanted to be alone and do my own things to relax and wanted nothing to do with my child. I decided I am never doing that again because I have a kid now and I can't push myself anymore to be strong about being flexible or else it will effect me as a parent. I will do what I can handle without feeling worn out. Sometimes being strong is bad for you.

I think there is a stereotypical image of a typical person with AS being geeky, brainy and not well built as opposed to muscular and less cerebral as many NTs appear to aspire be

Its a crude stereotype though and imo we are very mentally strong as we have to be, to cope with all the prejudice and social rejection. Weak people wouldn't cope with all that.

For NTs though, strength is usually equated with physical as opposed to mental strength or strength of character

That's extremely relatively because take one of those bullies and confront him with a complex technical problem that must be solved under time pressure ... and he'll most likely fail, so he's weak in this respect.

It just depends. Basically, everybody has strong and weak sides. I'm not interested in dominance, however don't consider this weak. It's plain and simple indifference towards people.

I like the idea of having dominance and control over bullies and disrespectful people
I'm afraid

It's a character flaw

Due to being called weak too often, I learned to put on a very strong front, which ultimately causes more problems because I tend to alienate people and/or get treated rudely because people think I'm Mr. Tough Guy (and they feel they have to challenge me), but it also causes problems because I'm seen as capable of tackling a lot more than I can. Supervisors will dump a ton of responsibilities on me because they think I can handle it.

I havent exactly been called weak but I've been told by people I need more self-confidence. I was wondering at first if u meant physically weak too?

I am geeky, and physically and mentally strong.

I've been called weak, but I've been called strong just as often if not more. People sometimes seem to see me as "weak" for being less aggressive than most people or not speaking up when I should... but just as often people say I'm strong for the amount of stuff I can endure without breaking down. I know a lot of other people have dealt with worse things than I have, so I think they're just surprised that things haven't affected me in the ways they expect.

That´s a stupid stereotype, that we are "weak". Who says that?

Evidently a lot of people, otherwise it couldn't be characterized as a stereotype.

I get called weak until I get the person in an arm lock or hit them hard enough on the back to make them cough.

This sounds odd, but I find this sterotype laughable...

I am 6'9", 280lbs, built like and as strong as an ox. Mentally... I am a writer, producer and director... which, I can tell you takes quite a bit of mentally endurance and acuity... emotionally... I consider myself stronger than most of the NTs around me , but that may be due to the fact that I act with rationality and logic in most situations. It helps, in many situations, as they seem to be reacting entirely emotionally...

This first point is off topic. I would fail too and I think many other people on the spectrum that happen to have the same processing speed impairments as me would also fail due to the time pressure.


Now in regards to the OP; I have been called weak for being too nice. I've also been called vulnurable for being too sensitive. I've been told that I need support function properly because I can't hold myself up and I lack emotional and psychological integrity. There's nothing wrong with accepting help but the reason I need help is that I have a weakness and a vulnerable mind. I'm also easily manipulated but people haven't said that as much I just know it.

I agree as regards the complex technical problem - my brain is useless with stuff like this and even worse when it's time-limited

I've been called 'soft' by a person I had given a lot of help to which really annoyed me - this is a common attitude from people when you are 'too nice' or too helpful apparently - it's often not appreciated, you are just seen as a weak person, a 'mug' who is ripe for exploitation, which they are in fact doing! lol Also when you are overly nice to a person they will think why exactly? ie what do you want back from them?

I am lucky enough to be well aware when a person is taking advantage and I think this is where my Christian belief comes in handy and gives me the 'upper hand' (not very Christian I know lol) as I will see it as me doing 'good Christian works in the community' in terms of tolerating their ingratitude. I can only tolerate this attitude so far though and then I'm afraid I lose my temper and may well cut contact as I do have limits! A friend used to say when he first met me he categorised me as a 'do gooder' lol I was a bit offended at this but he was right - I am often seeking to try and help people but it's always on my terms so it's often linked to self-aggrandisement as well as a desire to be kind and useful.

I think my mind is weak from the point of view of it being very vulnerable to depression as I don't have the mental strength to dismiss all the negative attitudes I put up with and negative self-referential thoughts that these attitudes engender. It's like I can't build a mental protective wall and it all gets absorbed as relevant feedback or fact. I'd worked out my mind was weak from this point of view at a young age, when I realised I didn't have full/proper control over what thoughts came into my head.

Basically the autistic obsessive, intense focus on one thing becomes a weakness if you are focussing on something negative.

Aspies could be described as "weak" in a society that values mass communication, assertiveness and proactiveness. This is exactly the kind of society we live in.

Physically... well, I can only speak for myself. I was weaker than the other boys my age, that is for certain. And that made me an even more attractive target to bullies. They always attack the ones that cannot defend themselves.