are you bored by small talk?

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does that happen to you, that you're with one or several friends, people you actually like and care about, and you're bored to death by their conversation? do you get frustrated and depressed then?

no body else thinks as i do, so i find most external subjective opinions to be irrelevant to my mind.

I don't understand the need for small talk. In other words, yes.

Yes. I'm good at looking like I'm listening but I have to constantly check myself so that I don't look away from them/ go off and do something else. Also, if small talk goes on for more than a minute or so, I usually shut it down because I can't handle it.

Yes, extremely bored. And is it true that Aspies are said not to reciprocate? Is that what this means? Then what of non-Aspies who think what I have to say is boring, but I am expected to not be bored by "their stuff"? This I have trouble with - if it is supposed to be 'give and take' - where is the 'half way'? Does this make sense? If I, as an Aspie, might be labelled as 'talking at' people, then does it count that I feel 'talked at' by small-talky type stuff. This does bad things to my internal 'fairness meter'.

The point of small talk is to give people something to think about and worry about if they are bored. People that have enough to think about and do and work on and wonder about are less likely to enjoy it. In the case of Aspergers, it's hard enough just to figure out what the point is.

It depends on the small talk and what it's about. I don't respond if I don't want to talk and I don't even try and carry on a conversation. I won't add anything to it. That seems to work but some people don't get the hint, especially if I take out my game to play or go back to reading my book, and they say we are the ones who don't read any cues? I would just love to say "I don't want to talk anymore, I want to do this" but I am afraid it just be rude of me. If I didn't care about being rude, then I would have no problem being upfront.

^ This is proof that the only woman I will ever marry will have AS.

NT's function exclusively with small talk. Ugh.

Meh, not really. Small talk can be a bit dull at times, but it can also help prevent awkward silences.

it slides up and down
atm I cant do any small talk

Bored by it - cant understand it - dont see the point in it or reason for it.

I talk to get things done, or to ask how things work. If you want to talk to me, you better be doing it for a good reason or i switch off because i can only retain info that is revelant or important.

Also noted - nobody asks me about me or my interests - not even for small talk. But i am expected to chip in with talk about tv or weather or family members ive never met. I dont understand.

Not always true. I despise it myself.....

Yes.

Yeah, small talk really isn't that appealing. I often manage to change subjects to something my liking though but they end up changing it to something else. It's that weird process until we end up either just stopping, getting into a sub-philosophical discussion or agreeing on something to talk about (finally). For some reason, by the time that happens, we've lost track of time. :p

I can do small talk but I can't promise that I'll keep it up with my undivided attention, I simply continue on for the sake of politeness (my curse as an empath). Sometimes even, I continue without being able to read the cue to stop, but hey, people always tell me to talk more! XD

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Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 04 Dec 2012, 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wonder about this. Truly I do.

Small talk is from what I observe, nearly 90% of NT conversation. I agree that some take it to such an extreme that even other NT's dislike such 'overloaded' small talk (stereotype of 2 blondes talking vapidly about their nails type of thing). But small talk in its very essence.... the act of just talking about whatever is in the air... that I wonder if you consider as small talk.