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Civ001
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25 Aug 2012, 7:05 pm

So a few months ago, I went to my local fast food resturant chain to get me some lunch. I was all alone at the time I went up to order a milkshake and fish and chips. For some reason the first time around it took them 20+ minutes to get me my fish and chips and another 15 or 20so minutes to make me my shake. I had to go up to them and ask them where the heck my shake was. The line was not at all that buisy even on a school day, maybe about 3 people in line. Whats worse I saw some other group of friends get their fish and chips faster than I did and I just almost fliped out there.

Earlier, I ordered a milkshake with a burger in stead and it was in reverse. It took me 30 minutes to get my shake and another to get me my burger. I was half way done with my shake by the time I got by burger.

That was the worst experiance for me where I seemed to be forgotten about. Any Aspies have a story like mine?



redrobin62
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25 Aug 2012, 7:11 pm

I was forgotten when I went to a Sizzler's in upstate NY years ago. I sat down with my friend, greeted the waitress...and that was it. People were coming in left and right and being served! WTF? I try to be nice, so I waited about 20 - 30 minutes. I didn't want to be accused of causing a scene. Finally, we got served. Really, the meal should've been free after that.



CyclopsSummers
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25 Aug 2012, 7:11 pm

Yes. Last year, I went to my younger cousin's birthday party. I should mention that I was there only to see my cousin and other relatives, as I don't really get along with her friends.

As the evening progressed, there was a large spider crawling across the floor, and everyone was scared of it. I decided to remove it from the house by catching it and bringing it outside, walking down the stairs (my cousin lives on the third floor).

When I pressed the doorbell of my cousin's house, she couldn't her me because the doorbell was broken. For some reason I don't recall, I was unable to contact her via my mobile phone, or anyone else for that matter.

I stayed outside for 30 minutes before my cousin noticed I was missing from the party. After that, she let me in again. I had spent the time just sitting in front of the door, trying not to catch a cold.


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daydreamer84
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25 Aug 2012, 7:14 pm

ya I tend to be the one whose forgotten about in a restaurant or coffee shop etc. too. :(



benr3600
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25 Aug 2012, 7:43 pm

Funny, I have a multifaceted story about this from January.

I was at the Brewers expo, and during the middle of the day I was waiting in the long lines at the concession stand to get some lunch, and who do I see walking through the crowd of people? Zach Greinke, a commonly known SAD sufferer, and when I noticed him I saw that he was looking at me, and so we briefly made eye contact. I have absolutely no idea what he, of all people, was doing walking through the crowd and not through the side doors of the convention center to the autograph booths, which I have only ever seen players use to get to their booth (the outer edges of the room were blocked off for this purpose so only staff and athletes have access, free from the crowd). Maybe his therapist told him to do so since he's afraid of strangers, and even dislikes talking to the media, is my only guess.

Then, shortly thereafter, I finally get to order, and I ordered one of the most common items on the menu, and there were four different cashiers working. My cashier kept letting the other cashiers get the food for other customers that paid after mine, and this went on for almost ten minutes while I kept telling him I'm due to get the next one since I've been skipped several times over already. This type of thing isn't all that common, but I have definitely had it happen before. My theory is that many retail, customer service, hospitality etc. workers hate their job because many people are as*holes to them and then they see somebody like us who don't really have a good idea what is and what isn't acceptable behavior in that situation and so they take advantage of it and displace their frustration with as*holes because it makes themselves artificially feel better.



mamakrzewski
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25 Aug 2012, 8:07 pm

My entire family has forgotten about me. Probably easier for them, since they thinnk I'm whacked anyway.



UDAspie13
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25 Aug 2012, 8:39 pm

Ive been forgotten a lot.
I probably have unrealistic expectations though. I have a really good memory for people who are kind to me, and I expect them to remember me.



Canaspie
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25 Aug 2012, 9:18 pm

I can remember being forgotten about a few times.

I remember a couple years ago I was at a fast food place at Union Station in Toronto - so unlike in your story, it was very busy. I watched as several people after me got their food, and just kept waiting. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the cashier that took my order seemed to catch on that I was still waiting, and had been for a while, and picked up my food which had been sitting ready to go for quite some time. The good part though, is they tossed a freebie into the bag to try to make up for it.

Although the better story comes from a long time ago, when I was a young kid (don't remember exactly when this happened, I'm guessing it was when I was about 7-9 years old). My family had been up at our cottage, and packed everything up to go, and left. It took them about 20 minutes of driving to realize they had one too few kids in the backseat, so they had to turn around and come back to the cottage to get me.



Jediyoda
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25 Aug 2012, 10:20 pm

I rather be forgotten than being noticed I hate the attention and being looked at. I dont have any problems though when I goto a resturant or fast food place.



EstherJ
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25 Aug 2012, 10:23 pm

I'm forgotten about or ignored 99.9 percent of the time.

And, to top it off, I'm short, so I'm not even seen.



Jediyoda
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25 Aug 2012, 11:14 pm

I envy you guys I wish I was forgotten. I too am short being only just 5 foot. I seem to be noticed everywhere I go. I get people staring at me and laughing at me, people pointing at me saying theres the crazy, friends who just will not leave me alone 24/7. When I order my meal at a fast food place I get laughed at by the teenager who served me and the teenagers in the fast food place who start whispering and point at me and start calling me names then they put pepper or hot sauce in my hamburger or put a fly or spit in my hamburger. I get my food straight away though. I get treated differently at Sizzlers though because they employ disabled people and are more understanding and really nice.



KaminariNoKage
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26 Aug 2012, 1:20 am

My tendency to be invisible is so bad, my mother has strongly recommended I join the CIA. Plus I am developing a reputation for it at my college (ninja/quantum particle). Teachers never called on me in class, no matter how random they tried to be. Games were ended before people noticed that I happened to be the only person remaining to be found/tagged out (eg. Dodge ball, hide and seek). One time I was even supposed to get a scholarship reward about halfway through the ceremony, and they did not notice they skipped my name until the the very end of it.

Advantage? People do not pick on you.
Disadvantage? You really start to understand what it means to be alone...



KnarlyDUDE09
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26 Aug 2012, 3:42 am

I get forgotten A LOT; in school, when both teachers and pupils would hand out books, worksheets etc., theuld always forget me...so, I'd have to get up out of my seat to get one, or if there were none left I would always have to share with the person sitting next to me.

...About fast food restaurants and forgetting, some of them actually have policies; if McDonalds takes too long with ones order, they give you a free apple pie and in Millie's Cookies, if they forget to give you a receipt your purchase(s) become free of charge.


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y-pod
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26 Aug 2012, 5:50 am

I'm sure everybody has that feeling sometimes. You always feel like the last person to be served and people always seem to avoid your eye contact. I don't think this is a particular aspie problem, rather that all the shy people feel that way.

I used to feel that way, especially if I went out with DH, people always seem to ignore him, and thus serve our group slowly. I suspect that waiters scan what looks like the head of each group of people, if they look nice they'll relax their standards. I used to tease him about being the invisible guy. Eventually I noticed that my parents never get ignored and always get everything fast, because they don't mind bothering other people. I don't really want to be annoying, but I don't want to waste my time either. So I tried to become a bit louder and a bit more visible, worked very well.

*Oh I noticed that things have changed a lot in the last couple years. Waiters no longer ignore us, and often come to tell us our food is being cooked and they haven't forgotten us. I suspect it's because DH has grown his beard and hair out to a wild bushy look, and both he and I also wears brightly colored clothes now (like lime green and magenta). Maybe we look rather different now they're afraid we might be picky. :D Oh well I'm not complaining.


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Joe90
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26 Aug 2012, 10:39 am

Sort of. We had all planned to book up to go away on holiday, just 4 of us (me and 3 of my relatives). I was really looking forward to it, and so were they, and it's a place where we all thought was a good place to go because it was somewhere we'll all enjoy, and everybody knows I'm not that happy and so need a nice break. But then all of a sudden, changes were made behind my back, and my mum suddenly announced that they were all going somewhere else instead with another relative (one we still see often), to somewhere where I didn't think would be their sort of thing, plus we're all going to have to share double beds, which I do not want to do because I have this embarrassing back-sweating problem, and my mum humiliates me if I fart or do anything else private like that, so that's now out of the question. Now I feel really disappointed, and I feel like these plans were just made behind my back and I was just forgotten. Nobody even included me in the discussion plans, they just all thought I will be happy with this new idea, which I am not, I'd rather go to the place what we first mentioned, what would actually be better, even my mum admits that. I did ask her if perhaps me and her go by ourselves (because she can afford to aswell as the other planned one), but she says she'd rather go with the other two, because evidentally I'm no good with following directions, and neither is she really, and she'd rather go in a crowd, which I can see her point, but still... :(


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League_Girl
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26 Aug 2012, 10:53 am

My family and I went to this Jack Daniels place in Keystone, SD. Half of our family ate downstairs and half of us ate upstairs. Most of the kids were downstairs because they were not allowed to be upstairs. But I was old enough to be upstairs so I was up there with my family. It was a family reunion so there were lot of us. We order our food but it takes us two hours to get it. We saw people arriving and getting their food before us and it made me so angry. It made my family unhappy too so we complained. My mom's oldest sister made a huge deal out of it and the cook there who seemed to own the place got mad so she called the police. My mom suspected this sort of thing has happened before and people have left without paying so she thought we were going to leave and not pay. We did have our drinks served but not our food. To make my aunt feel better the waitress made a joke about them being the Keystone cops and my mom said "The Keystone cops, the Keystone cops. Kathy, they are the keystone cops" and she started to laugh and felt better. This happened ten years ago.


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Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.