potty training & aspergers

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one thing that really bugs me is alot of people assume all kids with aspergers are late on potty training. I know alot may be because of sensory issues but not all kids with aspergers are late on being able to use the bathroom. The reason I'm bringing this up is because I was at a family reunion and my one cousin who is 3 years younger than who i cant stand because she is such a meanny and always makin jokes about ASD and other mental problems. So one of the things I overheard her saying to her friend at the family reunion was about me being late on potty training as a kid she remembers me still being in pull ups,I think because my aunt is always telling her stuff and she always thought is was the greatest thing how her kid could use the toilet before someone who was 3 years older then her. So everytime we are around them they act like they are better then everyone else. Because i dont know how in the heck she could remember somethin like that unless her mom kept bringing it up. So one of the things i overhear her sayin to her friend was this, "yeah she was still in diapers while i was using the toilet" thats all i heard and i know she was talkin about me having AS cus they kept lookin my way every so often. After that i couldnt bear to stay there any longer and left.
I want to know if its true that not all kids with aspergers are late on toilet training? Were you late with it or early or just in time? This is one of the things why they(my cousin and aunt) confuse aspergers and classic autism just because i was late on potty training..who the heck cares even a NT kid can be late on toilet training. Also im not sure if it was sensory issues with me because i dont seem to have any so now im thinkin and keep wondering what my problem was for training so late i wasnt fully trained till 6. Anyway Im thinkin usually kids with aspergers seem to potty train ok for the most part but idk what my issue was.

I am aspie and I had no discernable delays in either speech or toilet training. My symptoms were extremely subtle which is why it took over 30 years to recieve a diagnosis.

I wonder why NT's are so compulsively judgmental. I assume it's an evolutionary trait that has more or less turned into a dysfunction and only the ones who are taught morality and ethics have any decency. Which brings me to my next point about needing a reason for compassion versus it being natural. I feel that I am a naturally compassionate person. Of course this isn't admirable among NT's and I grew up suppressing it but now I've come to accept myself as I am.

I feel like as a society we are locked up by the expectations forced upon us by a culture of idiots who can't think for themselves. I mean NT's are easily influenced by the herd, it doesn't seem to be in their nature to think critically. In today's age of pervasive mass media ...they don't stand a chance.

About the potty training though. It's pretty sad that something so mundane could be misconstrued as making a person "better" than another. It could easily be late training.

I have the family criticism problem too, the worst part of it, I'm a damned combat vet and I still can't get a break. Being a combat vet with PTSD and all my body parts is comparable to how aspies are judged more harshly than say a fragile X, unless your symptoms are obvious enough to elicit NT pity, you're automatically judged. I've come to the conclusion that if NT's can't have respect for a man who's seen combat then they'll never have enough respect for those inherently different. I don't expect any special treatment, I just did my damn job, but it was f****d up and war is horrible, but these as*holes can't be bothered with compassion or respect. I've really lost all hope for them.

I'm even reluctant to go to the VA to get my official AS diagnosis. When I tried to explain to them the I had AS they wanted to put me in a psych ward because they thought I was manic and psychotic ...I maintained my composure under a barrage of questioning, they were trying to see if I'd say something that could justify involuntary commitment. Unable to do that, my therapist coerced me into going to the hospital after my insistence to speak with an autistic spectrum disorder specialist. Well he said he had someone he wanted me to talk to so I agreed to go under the stipulation I could be released of my own accord. Thank goodness I am paranoid like I am. I woke up in a psych ward behind a locked door and the staff, that was the worst part, they wouldn't even acknowledge you until they had some arbitrary inclination. The patients would just have to stand on the other side of the glass and wait to be acknowledged.

After talking to the resident as*holes and confirming I could go of my own accord I told them I had nothing to say and that I demanded to be released. I left and haven't went back to the VA for help since. I get so angry when I think about it, they were more than eager to lock me up because of their fear and arrogance.

My kids are NT, and some trained early while others trained late. My youngest daughter was about 4 by the time she would use the potty.

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I read that kids are being toilet trained laterer and laterer. I quit wearing diapers when I was three and I was very difficult to potty train. I liked my diapers too much. Then I quit after my brother was born. I finally had it figured that I didn't need them anymore and only babies wore them. But I had accidents until the age of five.

I potty trained at two.

My mother brought me to the bathroom, explained the concept, and from that point on, I was potty trained. I only had one "accident," and that was because I was so excited that some of the neighborhood kids came to play with me that I didn't want to come in to use the toilet.

For statistical purposes:

I was talking at 18 months, which is about average.

I pretty much skipped the crawling stage and started walking early.

I was highly motivated to learn to read, but I was reading around four or five, which is pretty typical.

My "weirdness" in a nutshell was that I was abnormally well-behaved, I had little interest in exploring the environment, I often wouldn't talk to people or answer if they spoke to me, I couldn't ride a bike, tie my shoes, or tell time until I was much older, I was afraid of everything, and I had very obvious stereotypies and obsessions.

I stopped wearing diapers at the age of 3. I don't see anything wrong with that. My niece who turned 3, just 3 months ago has been doing fine with pee since the age of 2 and a half. She's just starting to poo on the potty. She's been afraid of #2 up until now. She's also reached a lot of her milestones early or on time. What I don't like is that there are some parents who get carried away with the whole potty training, starting too early and than they get very angry when their toddlers have accidents.

I used to be judgmental and critical about parents starting too early. I just thought it was pure laziness because they got tired of changing diapers. But boy was I wrong. Potty training is actually lot of work so why would it be out of laziness? I think it has to do with excitement. It's very exciting to watch your kid hit their milestones and watch them grow and do new things. Then you start to feel anxious about toilet training and start because you can't wait. I also think it has to do with cost of diapers but even training pants cost money. Plus if your kid does something early, you get to tell people all about it and it pisses other parents off so they call it bragging. I have seen it at Babycenter. That may be another thing for rushing potty training. Parents want to feel special so they can "brag" about it. Really, it's not a competition folks. That is what some tell other parents when they tell them about what their kid did early theirs isn't doing yet.

I don't wish to join this competition. I just like the way my kid is and I don't want to rush potty training even though I keep feeling anxious.

I had delayed motor development (walking, riding a bike etc.), speech and potty training.