Hating to leave things unresolved

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Is it an aspie thing to always want to settle arguments or any negative feelings FOR GOOD, right then and there?

Or is that just a personality trait that some people have? I hate, hate, HATE when people say "drop it" or "let it go" when (as far as I can tell), they are still upset with me for some reason. I want to KNOW why, talk it all out, and determine what I should do to resolve the matter, but I am often told to just wait it out.

It kind of feels like a line in an overplayed pop song: "I don't wanna go beeeeed mad at you, and I don't want you to go to beeed mad at me....wooooah"...ha ha.

I'll obsess over them for months. There are some I have had in my teens that haunt me so I am the same way. I am not sure if it is an Aspie trait or not though. It may just be a personality trait.

There are some arguments I consider trivial so I don't always have problems letting things go but I can become overly involved in things that are important to me or bothering me.

I was really upset because I knew I was never going to have the encounters and interactions that I need to feel satisfied with my experience-orientated way of thinking about spirituality. The despair lasted over a year. I just couldn't let it go. When I talked about it with people they just told me that lots of people go through life without any sense of mystical experience and they do just fine and I should let it go like everybody else.

I couldn't let it go. I eventually tried to kill myself because I couldn't accept that I was never going to have the paranormal experiences I felt I needed.


Emotionally, I suffer unecessarily because I can't let certain things go. Most things to me are trivial and I can let them be but the things that I can't let go of cause me a great deal of pain. For those things, if I never resolve them I don't want to live. If they can't be resolved it's the end of the world.

If I knew that an emotionally charged issue could possibly be resolved later I might be more willing to let it go. Many of the things I can't let go of are the ones that have no obvious solution and I feel like my chances of finding a solution are slim enough as they are so sitting around not doing anything is out of the question. With University it's not like that. If I have to take a break for even 8 years I can still get a degree eventually.


The point is that if I have a problem that seems unsolvable but is so important to me and emotionally charged enough that I must solve it I have an extremely hard time letting it go.


I thought I finally got over the issue regarding my need for spiritual and mystical experiences but then today I started reading about them online and I couldn't stop myself from crying. It was still hard for me to deal with and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to truly let it go without resolving the issue.

I find it impossible to let things go. Especially if it is something that feels important to me such as any relationship issue or some perceived minor injustice which I blow all out of proportion. I think I get angry too but don't realise until afterwards if at all which only makes things worse.

I have had this problem and I have gotten better at it. I still think about it but I know asking that person about it just pisses them off. They assume you are not over it or that you are holding it against them or holding a grudge.

I hate to leave anything unresolved or uncertain. Good thing I'm not married, because a nagging feeling that something is not right and I can't get to the bottom of it will lead me to demand a divorce, right then and there. Can't stand it when things are hanging, unsure or unresolved. It even affects little things, like whether a person will really follow up on something (that they said they'd follow up on), and I'm not 100% sure whether they will honor their word. I've been known to say NEVER MIND if there was even a slight chance I had to wait for an answer.

A few days ago me and an old friend had a heated discussion. Well not really he became heated at me. This was at the point that he and my other friend was leaving. He was very angry and upset (had a few drinks aswell..) and suddenly left my house cursing and my other friend following him.

At this point what do you do? They were leaving anyway, so if you'd follow them it would be awkward. But staying home, I would kill myself out of the knowledge of gossip and leaving it at this.

So I followed them, even though it was very awkward at first, things turned around. And it ended up being a GREAT decision to not leave things unresolved.

Some folks are more interested in having the last word than in resolving the argument.