Is it so wrong that I enjoy talking about Aspergers?

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I am sorry this is long , my main questions are in bold. But id appreciate it if people read it.

It has recently come to my attention that some of my aspie friends, believe i speak about aspergers too much. But they'd rather speak about anime, or what year and by whom a particular song/album came out. Or whats the latest technological gadget that is baout to come out on the market. Then there is me, who enjoys speaking about and researching everything there is to do with Aspergers Syndrome...

I am being told that I flaunt my aspergers, that i like to stand out from the crowd, instead of hiding away from the world. That I am not "text book aspergers." I mean ok, i have always been a very out there open bubbly person, but that is because i tend to "over compinsate" for my lack of social ability or to follow conversation etc. I often tell people I have AS, because i am a university student and In group activities, i struggle following a long with what is going on, especially in group conversation where there is more than 3 people. Currently, my diagnosis is pending, but i have some very close friends who believe I have AS. I mean i was told as a child i was autistic, but not to worry about it. So i never received any social help or training.
My one best friend who has known he has had AS since he was about 9 is helping me with my social skills and how I am with other people. His help has been paying off, but i have a lot to learn still.

Though really is it that bad that my fave or focus subject is aspergers? It is really hurting when other aspies tell me to go away, that i cant have aspergers because i talk about it too much... but is it so? or is it just because I am not talking about their own focus subjects?! !

By the way, if you're going to ask me why i believe i am an aspie, here are a few reasons my psychologist believes so.
My language came in very late. I lacked motor skills, like brushing my hair and teeth untill very late. I could not feed myself, i actually started as a toddler and then completely regressed, in other words i stopped. I will actually forget to look after myself. I hate eye contact, i feel as if it is rude to do so. and it hurts my eyes. I use words wrong, or i dont understand their meanings properly. I will script, conversations. when conversations go away from my learnt scripts i flounder in conversation. I cannot express emotions properly. I use movie quotes a lot. I can even tell you word for word, start to end my of my favorie movie.
I hate sudden unexpected changes in plans, i am hyper sensitive, always have been. Oh and autism runs in my family....

I wrote all that because i am sick and tired of people saying i cant be something based on one particular behaviour, but people dont really know me, they just judge me based on the behaviours they do see when i am with them, not the behaviours my true good friends see. I am just so sick of it i am actually starting to become very depressed because of people >.<

I am happiest when i am talking about Aspergers, or my Aspergers, how it affects me for the good and the bad. Really whats wrong with it, if it makes me happy?

Well, I think it's fine to obsess over it. I don't talk about it with people, but I'm fairly obsessed with it (and the human mind in general) myself. Learning about your mind is really important.

But, you probably shouldn't bug people with it too much if they really don't want to hear you talk about it...

There's nothing wrong with having a focus. It builds confidence.

And now, here's a word from our sponsors.

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It's not a bad thing, if you like it. But, I'll be honest: if someone would go near me and started talking and talking about Asperger's IN FRONT OF ME, I would send them away. It's not a topic I like to talk about in real life, unless I'm with my parents. They're the only persons I can bear if they start talking about AS. About the fact that you "can't be an aspie if you talk too much about AS", I'm not sure. In real life, I've never met a person with AS whose special interest was Asperger's, and they all tried to avoid the topic, or didn't want to talk much about it, just like me. But heh, everyone is different. When my mother told me I had AS I only made some researches to know well what it was, but I've never talked about it to people. But, as I said, everyone is different.


There's nothing wrong. If it makes you happy, it's good for you.

The more you talk about it, the better you can understand it. Therefore, keep talking.

It's really nice that we have a place we can talk. Apart from this forum, there is no one else I could trust about this issue.

I think many older aged Aspies obsess about AS when they find out about it and get diagnosed.

I am sure I do. I think about AS a lot and talk about it a fair bit too. Heck, one of my Christmas presents was the movie Temple Grandin.

The idea that you cannot have AS if you obsess about it is - frankly - rather strange. Obsessing about any topic, including AS, would count toward a diagnosis of AS, not against it.

Just wanted to say, that I, like you, am very interested in AS, and I don't see why that should mean you don't have it. I don't think you should be worried about this at all, and should keep talking about it to your heart's content, just maybe with other people than the ones you mentioned...

Good luck with getting diagnosed.

If it is your special interest right now that could be because you have embraced it and are learning about it and would like them to embrace it also.

I do it when Something comes up with my children, it's all I'll talk about. My friends sort of walk away from me too. But don't worry, that will happen.

Besides if it's not Asperger's, it will be Lamposts, Barbies, Theory of special relativity...

You will always have a special interest, that's what makes us special and them boring.
I can promise you one thing, when they need to figure something out, they will be at your doorstep!

It is not wrong, but they will get annoyed. I am not judging, I am just telling you that it is "normal" that people respond like that - fair or not.

Also, there are introverted Aspies and extroverted Aspies. Some Aspies stand too close to others and talk too much, some of us can't tolerate social interaction, some of us are different in different situations. They just don't know and are applying some stereotype.

Best to you - LM

Last edited by Logicalmom on 27 Dec 2012, 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Actually, one of the requirements for Asperger's is no language delay, so an official diagnosis of PDD-NOS would be more likely. But I guess with the DSM 5 we're all autistic now. I think a lot of us here have Asperger's as a special interest

I think it's good to talk about it. You're just getting to know yourself better.

i thought your ''good friends'' were the ones judging you?

Nothing is wrong with it and I like doing it aswell. Most people have no clue anyways and sometimes it's necessary to make clear to other people that you are in fact not giving a sh*t about what they say is right or think you ought to be like. =)

(I am on a "people are all stupid" theme at the moment, so that may have influenced my response) =)

As other people have mentioned, it sounds like your special interest at the moment is Aspergers. I went through a similar phase; when I first learned about AS, I was obsessed with it, and wanted to talk about it constantly. (This has worn off, as now my special interest is the health effects of low carbohydrate diets ) I personally don't think wanting to talk about it all the time is "un-Aspie". Several years ago, a group of us on Wrong Planet had a meet up in Avignon, France, and guess what we talked about most? You got it- AS. I think there's nothing wrong in flaunting your Aspieness, I think it's good that you feel fine about yourself. This is more healthy than feeling ashamed.

I'm 25 and just got my diagnosis last month. I've been going on about it constantly to everyone for like, 3 months though.

I don't think talking about it is a bad thing, I think it helps us (I have it as well) because we tend to realize that other people can somewhat relate to us in very specific ways, whereas any other situation would be that we don't fit in well. I personally like reading about stuff here on the forum and occassionally giving my views about a topic, usually about AS. Like right now
If it's something you like to talk about, I think other people should respect that as well, not just what their interests are (which is sometimes harder than it sounds for us, because of special interests).