What is your own definition of a meltdown?

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I am not positive if I have AS or not (suggested by professionals). I am simply curious. I do not completely grasp the concept of a meltdown. I have read the medical definitions but they are simply facts. How do you feel during a meltdown and what thoughts are racing through your head? What triggers these episodes and how does this effect you? I have episodes but I do not know if I could classify my emotional breakdowns as a meltdown.

Thanks again,
Q

From what I've read of other people's experiences, there seem to be two types of meltdowns: angry and panic. And possibly sad/crying, though I'd call that panic in my case.

I seem to have the panic type. Before I thought I had Asperger's, I thought they were panic attacks, because they met the symptoms. (And maybe they're the same thing, just caused by smaller triggers.) In my case, I get very, very scared and cry uncontrollably. I didn't used to realize it was fear I was feeling, I thought I was just really upset/sad. I will want to run out of the room. Or I will want to fall to my knees and curl up. I can barely breathe, or I breathe too much and hyperventilate. I sometimes will rock, or I will dig my fingernails into my skin or rub my skin. I might repeat a phrase over and over -- sometimes it's turning my anger outward to another person, so I might repeat a short accusation at them. Mostly tho I don't like doing that, so I turn it inward. I may be angry at myself, so I'll say something bad about myself. Or I may feel hopeless, so I'll repeat something like, "It's hopeless". It depends on the situation but what I repeat is usually only 2-4 words long. Sometimes I want to lash out to do anything that will make the pain stop, including wanting to hurt myself. Sometimes if I can't help it I will bite myself as hard as I can, or throw something, or hit my head against something. If it physically hurts, I will stop doing that because I don't actually like the physical pain either.

These usually happen when I'm under a lot of pressure, and already feeling heightened anxiety. They usually happen when I'm in conflict with my partner, though in the past they've happened at other times, for instance if I'm faced with a problem that feels super important and it seems to have no solution.

Added stress in my life will make them happen more often. If things are going well or I'm coping well with everything, I never have them for months or even years. Feeling safe and supported by family seems to help. Self-soothing techniques sometimes help. Finding a solution to my problem that triggers it helps. I'm looking into other options, too. I just got a weighted blanket, and I'm getting evaluated to see if meds will help.

A meltdown is where you lose emotional control in some way and for a long period of time (at least a few hours).

I definitely had these as a kid. They were literal shutdowns where I would either cry for hours without stopping or else just become completely unresponsive for hours or days. But I sorta grew out of them. I have crying spells when depressed sometimes, but I think that's different.

For me a meltdown is generally caused from overwhelming frustration or from the feeling of being attacked. This results in outbursts of anger and a very narrow focus. I can usually cool down if I remove myself from the situation and "stim walk".

This is in contrast to a shutdown which generally is preceded by an overload of emotion or anxiety. I glaze over, and become mostly non-verbal, at most only able to muster the statement "I don't know." I really feel disconnected from myself as well as the world and experience a almost completely blank mind. Typically only time, seclusion, and rest can snap me out of a shutdown.

Both forms of breakdowns include a foggy mind, difficulty thinking clearly, and exceptional difficulty processing information. Physically I feel ill, tense, and will tend to hold my breath.

Certainly there are varying degrees of each, as well as experiencing some combination of both, and of course I can only speak of my own experience. Hope this helps.

A meltdown to me is when something overwhelms me to the point that the only way I know how to react is to put on what others see as a tantrum or "being dramatic." I might throw or hit things, and I'll often have the urge to run away from whatever triggered the meltdown. Other people are typically not the targets of meltdowns, but they can be the triggers. The "explosive" portion of a meltdown is usually fairly brief--only a few minutes, but that brief outburst is usually followed by extensive stimming sessions, crying, and/or shutdowns where I avoid interactions with others and stay quiet for hours at a time, and find myself unable to speak much.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ2SbavmcmE[/youtube] Enough said!