Hugs and pressure

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I find I tend to be unusual on this forum in being an aspie who enjoys touch, though I do dislike light or tickly touch.

One thing I love is being hugged but only by certain people. The people I love to be hugged by all give what I call "proper" hugs, using all their arms and body and squeezing me really tightly but not painfully. It strikes me that this might be akin to the comforting feeling I got as a child of being really tightly tucked up in bed by my mother. I had a conundrum as a child-I was bored and wanting to read, but doing so meant taking my arms out, which reduced the tightness of the tucking in, and it would also untuck things, making the clothes loose.

A similar thing that can happen is that in a bed I will, in my sleep, turn over and over, winding myself up in the quilt-once much to the discomfort of a friend I was sharing a bed with, in Winter, when she woke up to find me cocooned in all the quilt and her bare skin exposed to the not so gentle night air!

Can anyone else relate to this-either the like of touch or the pressure thing??

JulieArticuno

Last edited by JulieArticuno on 31 Dec 2006, 10:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

I enjoy touch, too.

Tim

Absolutely the same for me. A desperate need to hug and bein hugged, in a selective way, of course. I go to sleep hugging myself, embracing my had, interlacing my hands behind my nape. If I have had two glasses of wine before lying I may even have the illusion that each of the two hands belongs to somebody else.

Last edited by paolo on 31 Dec 2006, 11:57 am, edited 3 times in total.

***nice proper tight happy-new-year hugs*** for you

i am the same, i hugs and touch, but they have to be tight and definite... i hate light touch, if someone touches me lightly it feels annoying for a long time afterwards and i keep having to scratch and rub where they touched me to get it to go away.

*returns nice tight happy-new year hugs and hands them out to all who want them*

I had a boyfriend who would put his arm around me really tentatively and then crook and straigten his index fnger repeately, rubbing me lightl;y on the arm with the tip of his finger. I think my violent reaction really surprised him, but it waas just sooo....ewwww

JulieArticuno

Last edited by JulieArticuno on 31 Dec 2006, 10:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm much the same.

I'm actually very touchy-feely. I may start touching or embracing people when I've only just met them. It can get a bit embarrassing I guess. With friends, it's even more noticeable. It gives me a sense of warmth and community; sometimes, when I don't feel like talking, it seems to completely satisfy my need for communication (along with simply being around another person).
I'm not sure if I was this way when I was small, but most probably it was the same.

I love to wear comfortable, swaddling clothes which mimic this sense of being touched. It makes me feel cozy and secure. This is one of the reasons why I like my clothes to cover me whole. When I wear something short and there's no fabric touching my arms or legs, I feel naked and vulnerable, and something just seems amiss. In bed, I tuck the blanket underneath me and make a coccoon of sorts, and I often sleep under a couple blankets. I like the feeling of being weighted down and of something thick being wrapped tightly around me. In summer, when it's too hot to sleep under a blanket and we have to cover ourselves with sheets or not at all, it gets difficult to fall asleep. Again, something seems to be missing. I sometimes prefer to be hot and to wake up in sweat under a blanket rather than not be able to sleep altogether.

On the other hand, I have difficulties with eye contact. I either dislike it, depending on my state at the time and on the person I'm talking to, or I tend to gaze in a way that creeps people out. I've also grown to dislike accidental touches and being pushed in stores or in public transport. It feels very annoying and like something of a shock.

A lack of hugs and pressure and touch doomed my second relationship.

Tim

Yeah, it is odd. I gather the average autistic is MORE sensitive to touch, light, sound, smell, and LESS sensitive in other areas and to pain. The actual diagnosis simply talks about what I have referred to as skewing. Sometimes LESS, sometimes MORE sensitive, and it doesn't say where.

Steve

I do the cocooning thing as well, though only partially these days as my two dogs contribute to adding pressure by snuggling up to me on either side. Hugs I don't appreciate, but I like GIVING tight ones to people, which my family generally don't find pleasant as they say I cut off their air circulation.

I rather dislike touch I don't initiate, and prefer to lean on someone or snuggle up rather than hug them. Tickling or surprise touching, particularly on my back, results in instantaneous violent response, which I don't generally do consciously or on purpose. I also highly dislike being touched by anyone I don't know well.

SteveK: Actually, I'm really sensitive to pain. Alas for me, local anesthetic doesn't seem to numb it at all.

You're right, that snuggling is really very nice, but my family, although reasonably touchy-feely feel that at 32 I'm too old for snuggles. also, I tend to have high skin temperature (well, they say i make them hot) so I only have one person I can snuggle.

JulieArticuno

I like touch too... but no tickling.

Firm touch...tight hugs...

Whisper touches, tickling, blowing in my ear, nudging me while getting your point conveyed in a conversation.... drives me totally nuts.

Firm touch like proper hugs I like a lot.

Light touch Im not a fan of and touching my hair is definitely out unless you are a close friend as im really sensitive there.

I am not sure I have already said this things here. It’s a joke and must be taken as that. Moreover I am a borderline case in autism, not on the side of normality, but on the side of extreme deprivation.. I live on the edge but not on the right edge, on the wrong edge. I worry a little that I may produce some embarassment or disturbance with what I say. But, after all, knowing the ultimate borders of our (can I say “our”, or am I “out”?) condition may be perhaps of some help, to see the limits one should not trespass. And anyhow there are oceans between us.
I have this fantasy: to stay hugged (no sex) for weeks, perhaps more, with someone, possibly a thin female (no sex), having only some time off for strict necessities, physical needs, eating, drinking some water other needs that follow eating and drinking. A female overweight might also go.
Being in the realm of fantasies and jokes, I also imagine that instead of having physicians and specialists at our disposal to prescribe antidepressants, the NHS (where this thing exists, that is Canada and Europe) should provide needy people of our assortments a team of professional huggers to help deprived autistic people.
Why females? Well, from a general perspective I love females and I think males (including myself are completely useless beings).

My boyfriend hugs me and my family sometimes...But I do dislike being hugged or touched if I dont want to be. Once this boy put his arm round me when I didn't ask him to, I was scared so I ran away lol! I am not keen on people who come too close to me or hug me without asking. It just creeps me out lol.

I've always liked it when my partner puts a lot of pressure into hugs. It all started last year when I began my first relationship:

Whenever we would hold hands - if she gripped really tightly it felt really good (for lack of a more articulate description), and I let her know. It extended to hugs and cuddling in bed too - when we wrap around each other tightly, it just feels really nice. Before we met, I'd no recollection of ever having hugged anyone before.