Accepting compliments, gratitude, etc...

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Anyone else here have a hard time being on the receiving end of compliments, gifts, gratitude, and so on? It occurred to be yesterday how much of a challenge this is for me.

I never really know what to say or how to respond appropriately; I find that if someone thanks me or compliments me, the most I can think of saying a lot of the time is "yeah"--provided I say anything at all.

If it's a small compliment I can take it. Something like "good job" is fine, but anything more than that is prone to cause a reaction similar to a small panic attack. I don't think it's actually anxiety related, it just seems that way.

Same deal with criticism.

The majority of compliments are insincere and carry their own agenda. I dislike it when people start throwing them around... whether at me or at other people. I'd much rather be criticised.

Ive always had a hard time recieving compliments.

I dont think Im particularly attractive -- Im a very tall very large person 6'6 280lbs with Glasses.
I dont think Im particularly smart -- I know alot of things, about my narrow focus interests, and not much else.
I dont think Im social at all -- Im an aspie I readily accept this.

So when people give me compliments, I normally just disagree or deflect.

Hi, Sylant!

I feel panicky, too. It almost feels like the other person has just created an even higher standard to which I must adhere, a new umbrella rule. Maybe I like simply doing things correctly, and don't like the pressure of now being super awesome.

I used to have a lot of trouble accepting compliments. Now, I think I do it too easily! (accepting compliments from creepy strangers, etc.)

I am terrible at accepting compliments. They usually fly right over my head. I come in, I fix problems, I ask if there is anything else and then leave. I do not require any comments. I try to be very nice and accept comments but they might as well be saying hi or bye I process them the same way. I do not put any weight into receiving them. In my work people like to offer me food. I never partake. I have a severe phobia of food which was not prepared in front of me. I usually tell people I have already eaten. This usually satisfies them. I also refuse any gratuity. Anytime anyone offers I feel almost offended. This tends to carry beyond work and into my personal life too. I deal much better with exchange of services or goods then cash. I fix my buddy’s car all the time and he comes over and works on mine with me. I never accept or receive any payment for my time as I consider it an even trade. If anybody asks me to work on their car and have no proceivable means of repaying me with serivces or goods I refuse payment for my services and take offense to any offer of cash. In those cases I work out of charity.

Compliments that are unexpected, too strong, too frequent, or expressed in a way that goes on too long can feel like just as much of a confrontation as criticism. Gratitude and compliments can feel overblown, because I'm not that great. Gifts can be tough, because I'm hard to get stuff for. I suppose I'm too particular and also don't feel like I need much. Also, receiving a gift can sometimes feel like a confrontation, if I didn't know it was coming. If it's an expected occasion, such as a birthday, I like to be consulted about the gift. If there's no occasion, i prefer to get stuff for myself. I find it especially painful to handle getting a gift that's wrong for me, though I always try to be gracious and not let on. But then I feel like a liar and feel bad. I also worry about what will happen if they find out. People claim to want honesty, but most people usually really don't.

I get a panicked feeling as well and usually respond with an awkward "thank you", having been taught that that was the polite thing to do.

I have a hard time accepting compliments for a number of reasons,

1-When I can see flaws and/or mistakes in what I'm being complimented on, my responce is to deflect and point out the flaws.
2-When the acomplishment isn't a big deal to me but is to others, I deflect by down playing.
3-When I know I did something good but is afrade I might accidently brag, I deflect again, change the topic, return a compliment back to try to downgrade mine.
4-I know I did something really good but feel uncomferble with the attenion given, happens the odd time when I win a race for example, dozens of people come to congratulate me, feel overwelmed and want to hide, I normally try to change the topic to something sort of related but not personal.

I just can't respond to personal comments well so I deflect and downgrade, dosen't help that I am very critical of myself and a perfectionist and that makes me unable to accpet acolades from others. The best I can usally do is a 1/2 baked "Thanks".

When I was a kid I used to freak out on my birthday when relatives would give me presents. Instead of saying thank you and smiling, I would get frustrated and run off to my bedroom. Looking back I think I felt under pressure to conform socially and I found something as simple as expressing gratitude stressfull and confusing. I am much better now but still panic a bit and act strange when someone gives me an unexpected compliment. Eg. "Nice haircut" Me: "Erm, yeah, its been like this for ages actually...erm, gotta go. See ya." ...Why cant I just say 'thank you' damnit?

Weird. I don't panick, actually when I get a compliment I tend to get insanely happy. I will just say something like "thanks" or "really, you think so?", but internally I'm grinning like an idiot.

Yeah, this has been an issue for me my whole life. If it's just one complimentary statement that I can then respond to with a simple "thank you," it's okay. The problems start when the complimentary statement is comprised of multiple tiers. Such as; "You did a very good job with 'x'." and I reply, "thank you". But then person goes on to say "And I really like how you 'x'. That was great." So I say thank you again. Now here it can go some difficult to manage places. Because I tend to speak in a monotone vocal range, sometimes my "thank you" will be interpreted as insincere or as some sort of sarcasm. Which then triggers a laugh from the other person and a "No, I really mean it! haha!" and I say "...okay".

It all goes pear shaped. I'm better with criticism. If the criticism is constructive and helpful for me I will appreciate it.