Trouble showing emotion.

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I have great trouble showing emotions unless they're extreme. So if I'm happy, anxious, sad, angry, worried, whatever, I will outwardly look flat and emotionless, despite experiencing an emotion. It is only if this emotion becomes overpowering (like anxiety in a panic attack), it will come out.

Is this due to my autism?

Does anyone else have this?

Yes, this is autism.
Showing emotion in my definition also comes into the realm of "executive function" (though probably not by the definition, but in my definition) and it knows the same impairment as the "executive function".

I have this! I am a girl, so I always see other girls, say, jumping up and down with excitement, or squealing, or dancing around with happiness, or what not, and I've always wondered whether I was supposed to feel the urge to do that, because I never have. I particularly have trouble feeling excited FOR other people. For instance, my friend was accepted into a prestigious study-abroad program, and she called me nearly hysterical with excitement. I was genuinely happy that she'd gotten in, but I wasn't sure how to express it, beyond, "Wow, that's great!" in as enthusiastic of a tone as I could muster. And she was going on and on about how happy she was, I kept saying, "That's great!" like a broken record because I couldn't think of anything else. I worry sometimes that I offend people because they think I'm not happy for them.

On the other hand, I have other people express excitement for me and been puzzled by it. I told a girl I barely knew that I was going to Italy, and she sort of bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped her hands and said, "Oh my god, that's AWESOME!" I was like, What? When I found out about it myself, I was just like, "Cool, I'm going to Italy."

I have this! I am a girl, so I always see other girls, say, jumping up and down with excitement, or squealing, or dancing around with happiness, or what not, and I've always wondered whether I was supposed to feel the urge to do that, because I never have. I particularly have trouble feeling excited FOR other people. For instance, my friend was accepted into a prestigious study-abroad program, and she called me nearly hysterical with excitement. I was genuinely happy that she'd gotten in, but I wasn't sure how to express it, beyond, "Wow, that's great!" in as enthusiastic of a tone as I could muster. And she was going on and on about how happy she was, I kept saying, "That's great!" like a broken record because I couldn't think of anything else. I worry sometimes that I offend people because they think I'm not happy for them.

On the other hand, I have other people express excitement for me and been puzzled by it. I told a girl I barely knew that I was going to Italy, and she sort of bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped her hands and said, "Oh my god, that's AWESOME!" I was like, What? When I found out about it myself, I was just like, "Cool, I'm going to Italy."

Yes, when I got into Cambridge University (one of the top universities in Europe in the world I think), I just said "that's good, I must be clever then" in a normal voice, while my mum was dancing around the room whooping.

Needless to say I didn't stay in that university because I got no support for my autism and mental health, and I relapsed, ended up in a psych unit, and was chucked out of the uni. University College London (still a very prestigious university) is much better for me!

My Dad got a job as the Chief Executive Officer of the top Oil and Gas company in Cyprus where his boss will be the Minister of Trade and where he will be earning over £350,000 a year recently. I just said "well done, that's amazing" in a normal voice.

I don't really show emotion.

I am female and I don't get the whole squealing, jumping, hugging thing girls/women do when they greet each other.

Especially when they just saw each other like an hour ago. Particularly annoying when it turns into a whole production that blocks doorways. My friend did that to me the first time we met outside of class, I didn't know her that well at all at the time, and she ran up to me and threw her arms around me. I just froze and thought, Omg help, what is going on? Fortunately she was very understanding and said later she felt bad that she'd made me uncomfortable. I have also had a couple drunk girls I'd never even met before do that to me, it was freaky.

Its part of what got me diagnosed.

It's called flat affect. I either show too little or too much, but not normal....

I also tend to stare at girls who react like you're describing. I find it unnecessary. It wastes too much energy.....

Or I'm expending too little.... Oh dear.

I just find girls that show all that emotion to be unintelligent.

Yes, I have it too. It's actually in the criteria for autism:



It is very likely related to the high occurrence of alexithymia in autistic people (85% I think).

When I had panic attacks, I wouldn't actually experience the panic or anxiety, just the physical symptoms. Later on they became intense enough that I experienced the panic, and I had a couple meltdowns in emergency rooms because of it.

I also get severe flat affect from schizophrenia. I can be extremely emotionless even in the most hilarious or the most distressing situations when I am going through a bad time with my mental health.

I'll smile if I find something amusing or funny, but my default is a neutral expression, even when I'm in a good mood. If I'm excited or upset about something, my expression doesn't really change much, but I might express it through other ways, like through increased stimming. My sister and I were talking about Asperger's a while back, and she commented on how I have flattened affect at times.

I was endlessly told to smile and look happy as a child..........even my own mum would constantly criticize me.

I have now got the act all sorted, and mostly get it right. Sometimes when I'm lost in thought or not paying attention, someone at work will ask me if everything is ok, or say that I look serious\sad\upset. Its just my non forced neutral face.

I can't\don't know how to be intimate or affectionate.

I get a really awful feeling inside when I know I should respond to something eg. person falls over, person spills coffee, person is upset etc. I don't know what I'm supposed to do \say and it makes me feel physically sick.

I have a problem showing positive emotions. Happiness, thankfulness, affection etc. Causes me trouble in relationships, when getting gifts etc. People can often see when I'm upset though.

Also, I often don't know what I'm supposed to feel (or do) in certain situations. In situations like kahlua mentioned. Situations like when people fall over, when someone's upset and so on.

I have this problem too. I found that it meant medical professionals didn't take me very seriously when it came to mental illness - if he isn't crying and freaking our then he must be fine right? I think it also means that friends and family don't understand how bad I am feeling at a particular point - until it gets to the point of major overload and all out explosion of emotion then I think I come across as relatively neutral.

Oh yeah...gratitude and affection are tough ones. Outward expression of those just never came naturally to me.

EDIT: Situations where someone is in distress are problematic for me too. The only way I have even a slight clue of what I'm supposed to do is because I basically watch others and emulate them.

Last edited by FishStickNick on 04 Jan 2013, 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

For me, I feel like I am reading things(posts) that I wrote. Still in basic processing stage. I recently took the AQ test and scored a 42. Not quite sure what now.

I have trouble with gratitude because... and this is gonna sound bad- I don't think I actually feel it. If I do, it must be so dim that I can hardly perceive it within myself. I understand the function of gratitude, and I can be happy for something being there or someone being there, but it's not gratitude in its dictionary definition. It's more of a selfish gladness. I actually used to feel really bad about this in my teenage years. Hell I felt subhuman. But now I just kind of live with it. I know that I have to smile when people do nice things for me, but any of the reciprocative emotions that should go along with it, don't actually register in my brain.