weird question

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I find that if I look down at the floor or a table while someone is talking that I'm better able to listen to what they are saying. Sometimes I'll kind of stare in a different direction and not focus on anything so I can concentrate and hear better. Supposedly if I'm not looking at them then I'm not listening. But if I look at them I get distracted by the uncomfortable eye contact or details of their appearance. I hav one supervisor in particular right now who hates how I look away while listening. Is this just me or does anyone else hav similar experiences?

Liz, I have a similar issue. I can force myself to look at somebody in the eye when they are speaking to me, but it takes so much effort I don't cath what they are saying. I have two tactics to deal with this.

First, I'm deaf in one ear so I can get away with cocking my head when they speak so I don't have to look them directly in the eye.

Second, in boot camp they taught us the proper way to look at a superior while standing at attention was to look right through that person toward some distant object.

Though I prefer the first technique, the second works too.

Hello.

I don't think the question is actually really weird. It's quite relevant.

When I am receiving information verbally, I want as few distracting factors as possible. Eye contact definitely is one of those factors because it makes me very uncomfortable and prevents me from concentrating on the listening. I tend to try to look as close to their face as possible without actually making eye contact - usually just staring at a point in the air. Sometimes I actually turn my ear towards the speaker so that I can hear better. That also helps.

I won't generalize it, but based on everything I've seen/read, just about every aspie has trouble with eye contact. I have trouble with it myself, but because adults used to make such a fuss about it, I've gotten better. I usually can't stand to maintain eye contact for very long, but I am in the habit of throwing occasional glances to let people know I'm paying attention.

I do better if I don’t look someone directly in the face when listening to them.

The op is the opposite of all of those people who "cant talk on the phone" because they cant handle conversation without seeing body language and facial expressions.

Both types of people are probably not uncommon.

Occasionally I have to look away from someone if my response to what they said requires a moment of deep thought. When I was younger I had trouble looking people in the eye.

Don't like looking people in the eye, I usually have to force myself while my instincts scream at me to look away. Unless I'm zoning out, but whenever I do that with my mom is around she asks me what's wrong, ehh... *shrug*

In some cultures, looking toward the ground is a sign of respect for authority, so I tend to use that as an excuse if someone questions me about lack of eye-contact.
I have to agree with the OP about the avoidance of eye-contact facilitating comprehension of what someone is saying.

I always found looking down less challenging, as in the other person won't feel challenged and hit me. It works quite well.

I was raised in the 50's and 60's and children were less protected then, barely better than the previous few thousand years.
Looking away from social superiors probably was a major survival feature when childhood death rates were 30%.

That is my theory from personal experience.

When I was about 18 my boss told me that I never looked at him when we spoke. He said, "no one will ever trust you if you don't look them in the eye." So, I started working on it. I had another supervisor tell me the same at 29. I have really worked on it. I'm 42 now. It is still very hard to look at people when I talk with them. It makes my skin crawl! My biggest problem is with men who are "manly." Most women, and the more "sensitive" men are not so difficult, but that one type of guy who stares me down, trying to see who is where in the "pecking order" drives me nuts.

I have to do that if there is back ground noise. Or if the person is the type who just talks into the air while as if they think their voice is omni-directional. Like if they're facing away from me while making something in the kitchen so eye contact isn't involved.

Still if there is noise from them chopping food, the dishwasher, maybe a TV or Radio in the background, and also they're speaking into the air toward the food and not to me, I cock my ear so I can focus through the white noise.

Other threads on here have discussed lacking the "Cocktail Party Effect" ability in their hearing. I think this could be a factor if you're trying to listen through background noise.

I have listened to Audio testing clips on head phones and seem to hear a rotating sound just fine. I think some people lack a mental sound filter though. As for eye contact, that may be one more distraction in addition to back ground noise.