Leaving if someone is 10 minutes late...anyone else do this?

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I'm perplexed by my own behavior and, even though I have Asperger Syndrome, would like some insight. Maybe some of you can relate, maybe not

If someone is 10 minutes late, and we've planned a "date" (friendship get-together), I leave. I don't call the person, just leave. (I don't stick around to see if they'll show up 5 min later)

If someone calls to get together and they usually give a confirmation call towards the time (say, we arrange to meet @ 4 pm and they would normally call around 3:40 to say "are you coming now?")......and they don't call, I don't show up!

Even if we made the date but they don't make that last minute confirmation call, I assume they don't really want to get together that much, so I don't show up and I don't call them either!

I generally have a really hard time initiating things, mainly because people are flaky and I can't count on them not changing their mind. For example, if someone doesn't call me back in a timely manner, I assume the friendship is over and do things to ensure the unpredictable back and forth (of phone calls, emails, etc) won't continue in the future.

I abhor the unpredictability of people in general, and unfortunately I've become quite the unpredictable person as a result of the severe anxiety involved in keeping or maintaining a friendship.

I feel bad because I'm sure in at least some instances, if a person is 10 + minutes late, it is for a legitimate reason and not because of being stood up. However, I've been stood up enough times (and flaked out on), that I have little patience these days for the slightest uncertainty or interruption in plans. If someone doesn't call back in a timely manner, I generally assume the worst. Though, my rational head says otherwise.

I simply can't just ask the person what is wrong. Because I assume I'll be given a one word answer or blown off in some way. So I don't even try. I just assume it's over.

Can anyone relate to this? Do any of you shy from initiating, or giving other people a little leeway, when things don't go as expected?

Do you have social anxiety or low self worth?

I'm just trying to make sence of it what the reasons could be.
Nope, I'm not like this, but I know some anxiety of mine with new meetings if everything will turn out well and stuff.

Making a date at a set time is an agreement. Most people are very fuzzy on their agreements, but I agree with you. Doing good business requires that you keep all of your agreements, and you should never make an agreement that you can't keep. And if you can't because something truly unexpected happens, you must call and apologize as soon as you know that you won't be coming through as you promised.

But most people, and businesses too don't follow this rule... but if you do, then eventually the people you do business with will come to respect your word, and trust you.

It is allowed at my school. If an instructor is 10 minutes late or more, the class can leave.

I don't do this at all. I wait at least a half hour before leaving without a phone call. I also expect a phone call too if they are going to be late, maybe they got stuck in traffic or got lost. There is such thing as executive dysfunction so people have a hard time showing up just like aspies do. Not all of them of course, some are very prompt. If they are very early, fine, at least it shows they take the time very seriously and they are aware of their issue so they leave extra early to be sure they are there on time even if it means be early. I am guilty of being late now because people don't even care and I am not so black and white about it anymore like I used to be. If it's a social event or a party or a meeting group, yes I will be late, if it's some meet up with one person, I will make sure to be early so I am there on time. I find with certain things, be on time, with other things be late if you like but don't be too late.

If someone decided to come early, just say no and still show up at the time you both agreed to. It's also my pet peeve when someone decides to come early and then leave by the time I get there at the time agreement. Hey I can why now you wouldn't show up. Maybe that had happened to you so many times as you said.

I am anal about "my" timing. I will not be late.

But, if someone I am waiting (in person) for is late, I will sit and wait for quite a while. I feel obligated. I won't call them, though.

This always made me furious! However, complaining changed nothing, since the usual object of my ire was my (prospective) girlfriend. I realized just having her show up was a victory, so I simply counted my blessings.
On my side, though, I was always either on time or 10 minutes early.
You will never change female behavior, do not bother to try it!

Sincerely,
Matthew

I surely can relate, except that I don't need the confirmation call when I meet someone.

I'm sick of unreliable people. I assume there's no friendship if someone is very unreliable. To me unreliability is an indication of that person not having enough respect for me.

I myself try to be very reliable, not just regarding time, but also when I say something, I will stick to it. For example if I say I will do something for someone, then I will make sure that I do it.

I won't leave infact i'll wait all night, however when they show I might be in a really edgy mood after dealing with the social enegry drain of wondering and waiting.

I've done this in the past, yes. Lately I don't stress on it so much, the 1 person I'm usually meeting always explains their lateness and it isn't very often they are late. Some people, I would love to make them wait as punishment however I seem to be incapable of it

Because of executive dysfunction it's not unusual for me to be late. I rarely go out though and when I do the person I'm going out with usually picks me up at my house so if they are late all I can do is wait.

Growing up between other people being so paranoid and anxious and expressing it and myself being paranoid and anxious when people living in my house are home late that means they are probably dead or something else horrible happened to them.

I cant stand when someones 10 minutes late I get ready to leave after that.

I don't leave but I don't like it when someone is late. Always gets me at least irritated, sometimes really angry. One rule of thumb: if a friend is always late, be a little bit late yourself, so you don't have to wait so long)