Do you call yourself names when............................?

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Do you call yourself foul names when you do something that makes you have a meltdown?

I don't usually do this if I just get mad. But if I go into a meltdown, I call myself stupid B.... F'ing B while cursing like a sailor. If the meltdown is severe enough, then I throw, hit and kick things. Some of these meltdowns is very hard to get over too.

My son, he's nearly 14, has been having melt downs when he gets home from school. This evening in the car he kicked the back of the chair where my older son was sitting so hard that he now has bruises on his back. He gets so angry, yet he's really a lovely boy and feels so bad about these meltdowns. He does tell himself he's stupid and wishes he wasn't like that. We just stay calm and reassure him but its hard to deal with. Sometimes he goes on his swing for a long time and it does calm him down.

Why would I do things that make me have a meltdown?

In my case, I do insult myself as if I was a completely different person. It usually happens when I did not perform "good enough" for someone (ex: job) or when I feel like I am nothing but worthless/being the "stick/baton jamming the spinning wheel"/etc. to others, such as my family.

Wow!

Yes, I do this too....I tend to get angry at myself when I have a meltdown because something went wrong-usually my fault. I punch my legs and yell things like "I'm so f***ing stupid!" ect.

I cannot answer for you, but I do things that cause me to have a meltdown because I do not realize it is happening until it has already happened.
I would love to be able to not have meltdowns.

I try not to disrespect myself, but sometimes the cause is so silly I cannot understand how it got out of hand and I consider myself less than a deserving person. I'm getting better at this now that I'm older (60) but at times I have learned nothing since I was 7.

How stupid can I be? thats about the worst I do to myself, usually I tend to speak in 3rd person or direct my insaults toward another, i'm a selfish melter arn't I.

I say awful things out loud to myself, and not infrequently in front of a mirror either.

I never direct outwards sometime I wish I would just kick a chair or something but in the moment it's always me. This hasn't actually happened since the click point that I accepted that I am very most likely Aspie.

Thank you for your explanation as to why this happens to many of us. I didn't know how to explain this. Just dropping a piece of food on the floor cause a meltdown for me sometimes and I can't even control it.

Yeah when I have a meltdown I tell myself Im f*cking worthless a loser a freak and a disgrace oh and a failure. I also tell myself I am a waste of DNA and i cant do anything right and everything I do just wastes other peoples time and that I should do the world a favor by not breeding! If it gets really bad I will self harm!

Hi Dirtdigger, we are close in age, I bet life as a child was difficult in the 50's and 60's, it was for me.

I like your avatar, I was the official Bobcat driver at work. Nobody else cared enough to do it perfect.
I would complain loudly when I did not perform to my standards, although I did not actually yell at myself on the job. The boss prefers no bad language as well which fits my overly selfconscience speaking ability.

Others at the job also complain about themselves out loud at times, it is that kind of workplace. High end electronics hard soldered into car security systems. Perfection is an absolute and we get a lot of autistic electricians doing the work, NT's are sloppy and cannot be trusted to take the time necessary.

And I do hear occasional bad language when a screwup upsets the underhood guys. But very seldom does it get directed outward, it is always turned inward. Self talk is common, much more so than shops without autistics, and meltdowns are a fact of life and accepted.
Sometimes I am just amazed at how lucky I got with my job. Now if Tom would quit throwing things across the shop...

I'm guessing that meltdowns are/were rare with me because of the way I was brought up. We were beaten often for the littlest of reasons. We were beaten at home, in the street and at school. There was no respite from this. In essence I probably became like a super tame, ball-less person way too afraid to express himself via an outburst.