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whirlingmind
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28 Jan 2013, 1:49 pm

I have had a suspicious attitude from a psychologist because I am able to laugh at funny things (the funny things in question were his stomach rumbling loudly [and him pointing out in a jolly way he wasn't hungry because he'd just had a large snack] and him grabbing his paunch with both hands and saying that he clearly wasn't starving). I thought they were very basic things that were obviously amusing, there was no need to understand or translate a joke or sophisticated irony, so why wouldn't I laugh?

I have great problem understanding my husband's humour, and in other situations and there have been many times on WP that I have not understood someone was joking. Deadpan humour is really hard for me, or to know if people are making fun at my expense in a subtle way.

I know he is wrong in his assumption that Aspies don't have any humour (quite frankly that would be ridiculous) - how can I best explain this to him? Can you tell me how good your own ability to laugh is and in what type of situation you would and wouldn't be able to laugh or appreciate humour?


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chlov
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28 Jan 2013, 2:08 pm

I have mostly a dark sense of humor, or a dry one.
Peers say my sense of humor is boring and unusual.
The only person that sometimes laughs when I'm joking is my mother.

This is an example of my sense of humor:
teacher: kids, tell me the answer to my question
classmates: ...
teacher: come on kids, tell me something
me: something



jk1
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28 Jan 2013, 2:11 pm

Hello.

I think I'm one of the worst when it comes to understanding jokes/humor and laughing. But, still, I do sometimes understand humor and laugh. I think people with AS might be not good at saying/appreciating jokes etc, but it doesn't mean we can't do it at all. What you described is very obvious and I think it's natural that you laughed. He invited you to laugh by making a joke out of the noise his stomach made, didn't he?

I am generally very uncomfortable with jokes/humor because I really don't know how I should respond to it. Even when I understand what's meant to be funny, still I can't respond appropriately, hence making everyone around uncomfortable. Humor is generally meant to make relationships between people smooth, but for me it does the opposite. I'm hopeless. I also hate humor/jokes that embarrasses someone. It really hurts and rather makes me angry even when it's someone else that is embarrassed.



eric76
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28 Jan 2013, 2:12 pm

It has taken many years to develop my sense of humor into something tolerable to others.

Even then, it is not always appropriate.



redrobin62
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28 Jan 2013, 2:17 pm

I'm a clown by nature. Wasn't always that way, though. I had years and years of shyness to overcome.



Chloe33
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28 Jan 2013, 2:18 pm

I don't really have a sense of humor. If i do, it's very rare and usually involves something me and my gf did. Nobody else would probably get it, i'm not even sure why i find some things funny. One time we tried to ride those crappy razor scooters and dang near bust our butts on them and we were cracking up it was funny.

Sometimes i will laugh at inappropriate times like that at a wedding or the time at a church. I think thats a seperate issue i guess...

My best friend will kid around and say things so seriously that i think he is for real, then finally he says he just kidding. That is deadpan right? I don't get those ones as i think the person is serious and they are kidding.



psychegots
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28 Jan 2013, 2:34 pm

I find most things NTs find funny to be funny too. But I also find really awkward or sad things funny.



emimeni
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28 Jan 2013, 2:44 pm

I usually understand more than I can express. It's a part of my form of autism. On the other hand, sarcasm is the complete opposite for me. When I was a pre-teen and teenager, I could express more than I could understand, and slowly, I learned to understand sarcasm.

Edited to add: Oh, by the way, you can have a sense of humor and still have autism. :wink:


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Aalto
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28 Jan 2013, 3:03 pm

I'd absolutely say I have a sense of humour, and that it's quite developed. It's hard to properly bring out on here as WP is a pretty serious-minded place and neither do I want to confuse anyone, but the vast majority of TV I watch, I watch primarily for humour, intentional or otherwise. The programmes I find funniest are a mix too; things like Shooting Stars, Early Doors, Parks & Recreation, the Apprentice, Peep Show, Jeeves & Wooster, the Simpsons, MasterChef. I think the key elements are things like self-deprecation, dryness, low-level Schadenfreude, repetition, surrealism, daftness, intelligent plots, etc. I've also found that in growing up, things I used to find funny are now not funny at all. They're either derogatory, obvious, formulaic or self-satisfied. Without a laughing track I'd be unsure of the big laughs in routines like on Friends, or with much of the preening Live at the Apollo comedians. On the whole though I sometimes wonder if I'd just be happy holding the "play" button on a cassette player half-down to hear chipmunk-like 10x speeds/frequencies all day.



Rascal77s
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28 Jan 2013, 3:16 pm

Can you elaborate on "suspicious attitude"?



emimeni
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28 Jan 2013, 3:17 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
Can you elaborate on "suspicious attitude"?


I'm not the OP, but I took it to mean that the psychologist was suspicious that the OP had Asperger Syndrome.


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Rascal77s
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28 Jan 2013, 3:29 pm

emimeni wrote:
Rascal77s wrote:
Can you elaborate on "suspicious attitude"?


I'm not the OP, but I took it to mean that the psychologist was suspicious that the OP had Asperger Syndrome.


I took it the same way if I'm understanding your meaning, but I'm wondering what are the signs of a suspicious attitude. Did he/she say something to that effect or was it based on perception. I'm just wondering what the indication of suspicion was.

Coincidentally, when I was getting my evaluation through the state I made a joke about the psychologist's stomach rumbling. She had no problem giving me a DX.



seaturtleisland
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28 Jan 2013, 3:35 pm

My sense of humour often relies on the use of irony. Either that or I'm twisting things and looking at them in a way that makes them seem funny. Taking something literally can be done for a comedic effect. Even when I know what the intended meaning is if the literal meaning sounds absurd or just plain horrible I'll point that out. Wouldn't it be just scary if that was meant literally?

Most people seem to get my sense of humour. Either that or they know when I'm joking and they laugh just because they feel obligated to. I think that most of the time they do get my jokes.



whirlingmind
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28 Jan 2013, 3:58 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
emimeni wrote:
Rascal77s wrote:
Can you elaborate on "suspicious attitude"?


I'm not the OP, but I took it to mean that the psychologist was suspicious that the OP had Asperger Syndrome.


I took it the same way if I'm understanding your meaning, but I'm wondering what are the signs of a suspicious attitude. Did he/she say something to that effect or was it based on perception. I'm just wondering what the indication of suspicion was.

Coincidentally, when I was getting my evaluation through the state I made a joke about the psychologist's stomach rumbling. She had no problem giving me a DX.


You took it the right way. He is a psychologist who has many years of experience generally in psychology, but not in AS, he's literally just taken a training course in it. He seems to have some strange ideas about AS/autism, probably old-fashioned views in some ways. He thinks that people with AS don't want friends or hugs. He seems not to understand the heritability of AS because although he rightly says that autism can just 'appear' when both parents are NT, he doesn't seem to take on board the likelihood that if you have a child with autism and you have all the traits of AS, that it's highly likely that you have AS. Hence his attitude of almost surprise that an Aspie could have humour, he seemed to think it was a tick against AS from his reaction (he didn't outright say it but it was implied). It's my understanding anyway, that we don't lack humour we just have some issues with understanding it. And that also doesn't mean we don't find anything funny.


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Mindsigh
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28 Jan 2013, 4:24 pm

I can't tell when people are kidding, especially if they are teasing and saying things that sound mean.


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Rascal77s
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28 Jan 2013, 4:35 pm

Unfortunately I've encountered many people in the mental health profession who see us as a set of stereotypes. Usually it's people who read a bunch of crap or take a workshop but have no experience with ASD. I'm not sure why you're seeing this person but if it's for ASD related issues are you sure you want to be someones learning curve?

If you want to work it out with him you just need to be honest with him. Tell him, "I have some concerns that I need to discuss with you" and let him know what your concerns are. If he's an experienced psychologist he will not be offended. Believe me he's heard crazier s**t than "I'm concerned that you may be inexperienced in ASD."