brea593 wrote:
Hi, I'm new to the community. I have to say, I'm really glad to be able to speak to people who have similar minds. Obsessiveness is definitely an intimidating behavior to Neurotypicals (and to myself). I'm really good at not taking my behavior personally (otherwise I'd think I was mental lol!). I just recognize it as my brain being overly focused, ritualistic, and deeply habitually passionate. Lately however I've noticed that I'm feeling random bouts of anxiety/compulsiveness (to probably deal with said anxiety). It feels as though I get anxiety when I don't have something to be compulsive about (by compulsive, I mean astrology, numerology, Archetypes, handwriting analysis, etc). It feels almost as if I'm running out of things to be obsessed about, and I'm kinda worried about finding another subject that can entertain me to the level (which is pretty high) of the prior. The urge to be obscenely intricately involved with something soooo specific is killing me. It's exhausting to keep up with
So how do you deal with your desire to obsess/be hyper-vigilant? Any preventative measures? I think my obsessions may be a blankie for my feelings of being out of control (not knowing how other people are thinking, or feeling, or responding to me and thus not knowing how to respond). Even in conversation when I'm upset, or having a meltdown I talk in repetitive circles hoping for something to change by the next cycle of repetitive sentences. I definitely find medical marijuana to help even in as small doses as I get, but I'd like to be able to use my brain powers instead of that.
Thanks!
Have you tried Tarot cards?
I don't do it myself, but I read about Tarot many years ago and fount it interesting, not so much on the fortune teller bit, but rather the symbols, their meaning and of course the medieval woodcuts that many tarot cards are illustrated with.
In fact, I got so intense about it, that I started to dream about how to make new cards and new rules. Many times, I was in a trance and wrote many pages, detailing the meanings and the design of the new cards. I even bought all the artistic stuff needed to make card to look like medieval cards. I was able to make 3-4 cards before I lost interest. But I still have the plans ready for the next cards in the back of my head. One day, I will finish my job and it will be the coolest cards around!