Went to another meeting last night - another bloody failure

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This follows on from an earlier thread where I talked about meeting different people with autism/Asperger's.

I went along to another group for people with learning disabilities, and yet again I had little in common with some of the people there. Yet again I failed to connect with anyone on my life and yet again I considered it to be a waste of time. What made it ever so slightly more unbearable was that the place was completely dry and they had a bar inside there as well and the drinks were little more than flat coke and concentrated orange juice! About ten minutes in I wished I was in the bar next door. They were doing Valentine's cards and, as I had no-one to give them to, I declined to participate. My mother suggested doing one to my three-year-old niece (!), at which point that I curtly informed her that Valentine's Day is about romantic love, and I'm not a nepiophile. And since I couldn't very well write one to a woman that I am chasing, because otherwise it would look like I was coming on too strong (I have something else lined up for her), I simply sat there and tried to make conversation as best I could.

None of the people were really for me (and I ran into a gentleman with learning disabilities who threatened to punch my lights out whenever I opened my mouth), and if it was any more crowded in that little tiny space I was in I could have been in Monaco.

I'm glad I was with my mum and I could get out of there quickly. I then went to a pub for some beer instead.

Anyone else have difficulty at these social meetings?

It always surprises me how bad some aspects usually are.

Things like crowded small rooms, or super noisy rooms, like the meeting hall at AutismNZ
Unbearable and the worst I ever experience, and this is a support meeting for autistics, in a very noisy space.

maybe if you had a few beers before hand it may have been funnier
a crazy scotsman [who i balled out for being a danger in the water] threatened to hit me 3 days ago

I've never attended such meetings yet or even met anyone who is known to have AS/autism in real life.

Hearing stories like that is really disappointing and discouraging. I was thinking maybe I could finally make a true friend in such gatherings sometime in the future.

Any way, it's good to know what to expect. Thanks for your story.

A gentlemens club arrangement with satelite grouping of easy chairs
loungers, soft uplights, heavy drapes and carpets, plus padded furniture would make a cosy and quiet place perfect for autistics to socialise

Another important issue is self imposed pack leaders amongst the group of auties.
They often spoke at length over others in the group
One loved speaking but was poor at listening, which drove me a little testy jack russell terrier

The 2 at autism NZ were alright, probably better than I, but I hate being part of someones managed flock, being the goat that I am.

One hopes this situation will improve as more Aspies "take the reins" of Aspie support/social groups.

I reckon if social stuff is your thing and you have an ASD, it'd be better to go to some place that's related to your interest; it's nothing out of the normal for you to lecture on about your subject of interest at said places (it'll probably bring positive attention).

I usually didn't like social groups or support groups when I was younger, and I attended a lot of them. Then there was an ASD support group at my uni which I really enjoyed . I do have issues with crowded noisy places though so I don't think I could handle the one you went to. Support groups can be smaller and less crowded.

i am due to attend my regular bimonthly aspie meetup tomorrow noonish. it is a small group, generally [dependent upon attendance] of between 5-8 members, small enough to where it isn't a noisy crowd, with some roberts rules of order sensibility to it. i've been with them for 2 years now. tempus fugit

A small industrial unit 2000 sq ft is around $1000 a month in Auckland
100 autistic members at $10 a month
free pool and darts, pot-luck dinners and home-brew beer and wine, free internet and decent meals at good prices
movie nights and talks and entertainment

could be a beautiful thing
I'm thinking in bigger cities a good business could be pioneered.....
autism social clubs

I'm going to clock up some hours each week down at the skatepark
Its perfect
If someone annoys you, you drop your board and skate-off
When you want to talk you skate-up to someone and say something skatey
One problem-staring parents with anxious expressions, waiting for their childs interest in skating to wane
Its fun being around kids having fun
and really trying hard to land jumps
it develops a consciousness of its own
and you can lose your worries in the collective hum of pure physical activity

Its like a big sand pit full of fun loving nutters, quite therapeutic

Many half breed guys at the skatepark are super athletic and super healthy and skate their inner autistic honky into shape, lucky them and good motivators for me to get my inner autistic honky into shape too.....

Skating can teach some autistics a great deal.... sharing, patience, balance, safety, perfection thru repetition, hard lessons, learning to fall properly,.....

maybe more than a 'support group' making valentines day cards? that would freaken drive me batty