i could probably kill someone if i wanted to

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im kinda worried, for the past few years now i have been having thoughts of killing people and just today i discovered my fasination with blood

My ferret Sparticus recently got an ear infection, which causes his ears to smell, ive been giving him medication, to see if the medication was working, i smelled his ear; and as soon as my face got close to his, he put his paw against my face to stop it from coming anycloser and his claw went into my nostril. i ignored it and as soon as i inhaled i could feel something warm slide in the back of my throat, i put my finger to my nostril and saw blood, i went to the bathroom but only to lean my head over the sink and watch the blood drip out and each drop, splattered and left dropplets of blood all over the walls by the sink, i tried lifting my head to look in the mirror but it ended up pouring into my mouth, i spit it out at first but after a while i started drinking it and became very happy, when the bleeding stopped i got upset, and i was sad to wash away all the blood, but i dont think my dad would enjoy walking into the bathroom and seeing the sink full of blood. after that i really wanted to see more blood, not just any blood but intense bleeding from a cut or a gash. then i wanted to paint with blood.

im concerned

You should probably express your concerns to a doctor before you express them to WP. Sometimes people have fantasies or urges but know they won't act on them. If you feel you can't control your urges you should talk to a doctor immediately. Prison is a pretty boring place.

^^^^

agree!

16 is a seriously volatile age too; it's very likely that this urge/obsession will pass without consequence...but it's not guaranteed, so I'd certainly follow Rascal77s advice and seek help as soon as possible. I think your compassion for your ferret is a good sign and though I respect that Aspies are different and prone to unique fascinations and interests, I'd strongly recommend seeking therapy to omit killing and exsanguination from them.

Congratulations, you have now discovered that you're in fact a predator (yep, females too), and modern society has coddled you far too much for too long that you're just realizing it now, when your emotions and hormones are one big mess.

Get your dad to take you hunting or fishing, and clean the animals yourself (or get whomever your carer is to take you).

I sometimes feel a deadness in myself that I know I could kill if I had the reason. And my husband gives me a reason, but my kids give me a reason to not go through with it. I know I am capable. I get very violent thoughts, more often lately. I really don;t know whether or not I will ever act on them. I hope not.
Never cared for blood though.

I agree with the other suggestions. Go see someone. If you know rationally that this could go bad, then don't take a risk that it could develop into something you can no longer control. This is why I never tried drugs. I did not trust myself to stop if I liked it, and I could not risk losing control. Now is the time, while you are not in too deep.

Yeah, because talking to a psychiatrist about something as simple as realizing you could kill someone and getting all uppity when you bleed (endorphins are released) sounds like such a good plan of action. These things are absolutely normal.

Or, you could go and do what you're programmed to do from thousands upon thousands of years of evolution, which will make you realize why you experience these things.

I'd rather choice two, than to "pathologize" normal things.

O, you could do nothing and..., do nothing. Normal and all that.

Let's step back into reality for a second.

1) Not every father or care taker has hunting and/or fishing experience.
2) Not everyone has access to hunting and fishing areas.
3) There is a difference between the urge to hunt and the urge to kill people.
4) When someone has the urge to kill people telling them to practice on animals isn't the best idea.

The urge to kill people is absolutely not normal.

Notice "thoughts", not "urge".

I know exactly what the psychologist will say if she tells him or her this. If said individual starts doing compulsions to avoid them, then we know what that is too. The whole reason for the individual worrying should tell you everything you need to know. Truly homicidal people don't care about these things.

Everyone has thoughts of murdering people -- it's entirely normal.

RE:, hunting and whatnot; it's a good way to teach people about why they have these thoughts. No point in hiding from it. But, that's just how I roll.

taking a life is the easy part, theres over 100 ways to kill someone with just your hands. getting away with it is the hard part.

Well, duh. Of course you could kill someone. Practically everyone on this planet could kill someone, if they really wanted to.

But most of us choose not to do it.

Congratulations: you've just realized that the only thing keeping you from becoming a murderer is your decision not to murder someone. Scary, ain't it?

Don't obsess over it. Sure, you can choose to kill someone. You can also choose to do useful, constructive things. Being a human means that you have a lot of power that no other species on the planet has, a lot of potential that can be used, misused, or just wasted. Yeah, it includes the potential for murder; but that's only one of the practically infinite number of things you could do with it. If you fixate on the possibility that you might do something horrible, you'll just freeze up and not be able to do anything useful. That way lies obsessional OCD, and trust me, you don't want to be constantly worried that you might randomly turn into a ruthless killer. Ain't pleasant.

Better to focus on what you could do that's positive. If you were in the right situation, a single decision could make you a hero. Say you yank a kid out of the street, or save somebody from choking to death. One decision and the world is different for it. Usually it's less dramatic than that of course... but, you know, little things add up.

Regarding blood--There's no real reason why you should be concerned that you found it interesting. It's a rather interesting substance to study. We did about a month just on the circulatory system when I took anatomy class. And it has a nice color. But please remember that many people are actually sickened or frightened when they see blood; they would probably be unsettled if they learned that you found it aesthetically pleasing or interesting. Don't wave that in their faces; you'll just freak them out for no good reason. Or get yourself teased for being "goth" or whatever.

poor quality needless insult there.

Eh?

I'm being serious. Using instinct and intelligence to catch your prey. Getting the blood over you as you slice the arteries to bleed them out, removing the intestines and other biological contaminants, and then removing the edible meat. Preparing it and then cooking such -- eating it. It's what we were made for (among other things).

I can honestly say fishing and the subsequent cleaning and consumption of said animals was therapy times a million during high school for me. Hunting the same now. It's far better than any psychiatry I've experienced.

It's not for everyone, but if you're fascinated with blood and you're starting to feel the things predators do, then it's one choice. Psychology is just going to say it's "normal" and don't obsess over it.

Why do you think people think of murder and all that (which is utterly normal)? Because they're prey animals?