Should I tell her?

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I have known my girlfriend for 5 years and I haven't told her that I have Aspergers. Should I do it or not?

imo yes, but depending on how long you have been dating for. if its only been a few months id leave it a lil longer. if she has not already noticed your traits.

I would wait until an appropriate time.

IF you sit them down to talk about it then they might think it is more scary than what it is. If it comes up organically in a natural conversation, maybe about a movie or something, then it is a perfect time to talk about it. Otherwise, its been 5 years and if all is good then leave it alone and just marry her already.

Im always about disclosure, because some people dont handle it well later.

Better to disclose now than create a situation later where she indicates "I cant deal with this aspect of you"

After 5 years she knows you pretty well - maybe better than you know yourself in certain ways.

Is there a problem you're trying to fix? If not I'd leave it alone. Marry her. have fun!

does it affect your relationship in such a way that if you told her it would improve her understanding of you in a positive way?

I would tell her.

She deserves to know. It's a big part of your life; if you're keeping secrets from her, that implies you worry that you can't trust her to like you if she finds out. A relationship should be based on trust. Also: Five years? Tell her already! Long overdue.

Goodness, yes. Five years together and you still haven't told her? I am sure she knows something different about you already.

after 5 years, i'd assume she already realised, even though she might not know the actual name of aspergers.
imo, you should have told her sooner, but definately tell her. just dont blurt it out out of the blue

She probably suspects it, though. I've suspected my husband had something since I first met him. Although if you're Asian (as is my husband), you might get caught in a mask of "cultural difference" becoming a cover for a neurological issue.

If you intend to have a family with her, you have to tell her. I don't regret having married my husband even if our son is nothing like me. I love them both just like they are.

My son was born with Asperger's, and after analyzing and researching, I can see that my husband probably has it to some degree, although he has never been diagnosed. He has many traits, but I accept him and love him for all of his wonderful qualities even though he does have some quirks. If your girlfriend has stuck around for 5 yrs, she must really love you. If you have children together, it is only fair that she knows because your children may have some form of autism, and as a mother it will make her worry if she does not know what is going on. Best of luck with this!

Do you have any quirks you guys joke about? That might be an easy way to ease in to the conversation.

You say you've "known" her for 5 years. Have you been dating all 5 years? Have you been close the whole time? I suspect if you have been dating for 5 years or have been close, she will probably not be surprised when you tell her. It is even possible that she has figured it out but doesn't know how to broach the topic with you.

At any rate, I would disclose because I would not want to be with someone who didn't accept me wholly and you will not know if she does until you tell her what "wholly" is comprised of.

<------- I'm facing this after 11 years of marriage... and I didn't exactly disclose... it was suggested by my Dr that I had Aspergers a few months ago and I kinda said 'hey this may be why I do these things'....

Are y'all having any issues that could be explained by Asperger's? Then it might clear the air to tell her about it. And I agree with the other posters -- don't just jump into during breakfast. Bringing it up in a casual way will let her know that there is nothing to freak out about, as some people will do when you tell them you have something mentally different going on.

What does it really matter if you have been labeled as aspergers or not? She loves you right? Would a diagnosis change that? If so is that even love?