AS as part of you...

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I am someone that is "blessed" with having multiple issues with my mind. But are all there issues really a part of who I am as a person? The mental Illness aspects of me go away when I take my meds, so does that mean they are really not part of who I really am? But the autistic part (I know I'm not diagnosed but well so many people have said it) will never go away with meds. Therapy might make some things better but it's not the same thing that meds do to MI. I have a new talk therapist and I mentioned what I've been diagnosed with and also the autism suspicion. She concluded I'm having relationship trouble because of AS.

Am I just babbling or reitterating something already figured out by most, IDK.

As someone who identifies with AS, and--like you--has had it pointed out but not diagnosed, I'd say: whatever you want to call it, it's part of how you are, but it isn't who you are. Like, my skin color is part of how I am, but not who I am. Maybe parts of your AS lead to relationship problems...but, do NTs have relationship problems because they're NTs? Relationships are about you and the other person, not your AS. It's just communicating whatever wants and needs you have between you, and staying together if that works.

I'd also keep in mind that much of the language around AS is from an NT perspective. They will often mistake their perception for your intention, just as you might do with them. Or, next time one asks how much you like Sheldon, ask them how much they identify with Homer Simpson

Let's wait for ASpartofme to reply

Here's my view.

My mind expresses traits of ASD and ADHD as a natural result of the way my brain operates. That in turn reflects various factors, including in all probability genetics, which have become part of the structure of my mind.

There are many aspects of my experience of and approach to the world which I view as valid, and which I value. If separating them from me would change me, I don't want that.

I've seen other spectrumites express the opposite view, where they would happily be separated from their traits if that were possible, even if that changed them.

I think it becomes a matter of judgement, whether a trait is like a mixed blessing, whose removal is cause for ambivalent feelings, or a simple negative, whose removal could be celebrated without invalidating the experience of the person who possesses the traits.

AS isn't a separable part of me, it is me at a very basic level--much more fundamental than something superficial like skin color (which can define you only because of society's superficial judgments). AS goes even deeper and is more pervasive than something like sexual orientation. It sets us apart in the way we think--and, as Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." The way I think is the way I am. Apart from that, there simply is no meaningful concept of "I".

Benjamin has it right, and I think we're driving at the same idea. If a treatment suppresses a trait, it acts by changing the way you think, hence changing you. You should be the authority on whether that's a positive thing or not.

I think we've addressed the first part of Anginix' question.

Yes, Anginix, it's likely when you unpick more layers, you will indeed see more detail how the traits impinge on relationships, as the history of that trend is deep and wide. I recently found r/aspiepartners on Reddit which has lots of examples, as would the relationships section here.

You ask and you shall receive.

At 61 years of age the parts of me that are my personality, the parts of me that are added skills, and the parts of me that are my autism are so fused together that I have decided it would be a fruitless task to figure out what part of me is what.