making decisions
does anyone else find thats a problem. if i have to make a decision about something i find it very difficult and i get frustrated and angry. e.g. i cant choose what i would like from the shops when someone asks me, how am i meant to know what i want out of the whole shop when i cant even see it.
BlackSabre7
Veteran
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Joined: 17 Jan 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 943
Location: Queensland, Australia
You mean how I can spend ages reading labels and calculating prices, looking for a reason to pick something already? (food items, usually)
Or how I get unhappy and give up because it's just too hard to make a choice, and I just can't do it right now? (shoes, clothes, etc - rarely bother with that unless necessary)
Sometimes I can't even decide what my own opinion is, because I see the pros and cons of every side.
Multiple choice questions in exams can be difficult if there is not one definite clear answer. These days, they want to really test you, so they chuck in multiple option that are true, and you are supposed to pick the "best one". HAH!!
I'm very analytical and have to work had at dealing with the emotional part of decision. However, I still found that a lot of value on leaning on model thinking to make life-relevant decisions and have develop from that tiny little versions to deal with day-to-day simple, quick decisions. I think we have to develop things that work under our own limitations. I took this model thinking course and really benefited from it, and it is free go to coursera dot org and search for model thinking by Scott Page....
Or how I get unhappy and give up because it's just too hard to make a choice, and I just can't do it right now? (shoes, clothes, etc - rarely bother with that unless necessary)
Sometimes I can't even decide what my own opinion is, because I see the pros and cons of every side.
Multiple choice questions in exams can be difficult if there is not one definite clear answer. These days, they want to really test you, so they chuck in multiple option that are true, and you are supposed to pick the "best one". HAH!!
Yes exactly. Making decisions is exhausting.
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Aspie: 166/200
NT: 57/200
AQ: 41/50
I really hate those, and in fact just encountered one just a couple hours ago in a game I was playing. The question was something along the lines of "What type of meat does the word 'venison' describe?" The options were deer, wild boar, something else and then "all of the above."
I chose "deer," but the "correct" answer was "all of the above," since the term applies to any type of game meat. It then proceeded to tell me that my answer was incorrect. No, it was not incorrect. Since the answer was "all of the above," any one of the answers would have been correct! To say that "venison" does not accurately describe "deer meat" is simply not true.
Anyway, back on topic:
I am often chastised for my disabling indecisiveness. If left to my own devices, I could spend days or weeks agonizing over one trivial decision. And it's annoying because whenever I'm pressured to "just pick something," I always end up regretting my choice.
I face a similar problem whenever I walk into a store and the clerk immediately asks me what I want. Often times I don't have a prepared answer. If I'm walking into a brick and mortar store to purchase something, that probably means that I couldn't or wouldn't order it online either due to it simply not being available or it being something that I need to feel, touch, and weigh before purchasing. I could say "I'm looking for a [general product category]," but then they would proceed to give me their irrelevant, useless and often misguided recommendations. So instead I say, "I'm just looking, thank you," or "I don't need any help right now."
Some anwsers are easy mainly ones that fit into rutines like if I want a donut for example I go to the same store, pick the same chocolate diped sprinkle one with out considering the rest in the case and thats it. Also if the choice is between 2 things one I like and one I dispise thats easy too.
Were I run into trouble is were I have 2 or more choices that appeal to me and chooseing all is not an option, then I must anlyse the choices to make an informed choice, sometimes I will have someone i'm with ask for me what is the best choice, example Pennzoil or Shell motor oil same price and size, not becouse I can't ever decide on my own but deciding on my own is often too impractical and stressful for the severity of the situation, I know both will protect my engine but I struggle to decide what one is that little bit better. Lately I make product choices based on were there made, thats fast and easy and fits my corprate morle system!
I now a days always make a detailed list of what I want and need before going shopping and read the flyers so they won't distract me. I'm glad i'm not the only one who avoids the salesmen, I feel uncomfterble when I think I'am getting watched, rushed and that only makes the choice harder and slower.
I sometimes get frustrated making simple decisions like taking the dog for a walk. Especially if the thing I am deciding on will "disrupt" my routine. I am VERY indecisive though.
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Your Aspie score: 164 of 200
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Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles. ~ Charles Chaplin
I'm exactly like this, too.
Life feels so overwhelming because of all the little (and big) decisions that I have to make. I have made a few very bad big decisions that affected my life very negatively. I'm still suffering the consequenses.
At work because of my hesitation to make decisions, I look rather insecure, and people try to take advantage of it and to ignore my decisions though I am actually in a positoin to make some decisions.
There was a time when I had an essay exam in which I had to write an essay within 4 hours. They simply gave us 4 topics to choose from. We only needed to write about one topic. I ended up spending 2 hours just to decide which topic to write about.
In a supermarket I may spend 5 minutes just to decide which watermelon looks the most perfect. Shopping can be very stressful because of this (as well as fun).
When buying clothes or something, if I really can't decide which item to buy, then I just buy all that look good just to stop the agonization. So I often end up overspending and having exactly the same shirts etc with different colors.
I'm exactly like this, too.
Life feels so overwhelming because of all the little (and big) decisions that I have to make. I have made a few very bad big decisions that affected my life very negatively. I'm still suffering the consequenses.
At work because of my hesitation to make decisions, I look rather insecure, and people try to take advantage of it and to ignore my decisions though I am actually in a positoin to make some decisions.
There was a time when I had an essay exam in which I had to write an essay within 4 hours. They simply gave us 4 topics to choose from. We only needed to write about one topic. I ended up spending 2 hours just to decide which topic to write about.
In a supermarket I may spend 5 minutes just to decide which watermelon looks the most perfect. Shopping can be very stressful because of this (as well as fun).
When buying clothes or something, if I really can't decide which item to buy, then I just buy all that look good just to stop the agonization. So I often end up overspending and having exactly the same shirts etc with different colors.
yeah shopping can be really overwelming, i get stressed just with the noise, people and colours, let alone actually deciding what to get. thank god for internet shopping.
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Yeah, making decisions can be hard, I'll often get lost in the details. What I find especially difficult is if there's no clear choises, like I remember having to pick a topic for an impromptu short presentation (hated those!) at school. The teacher said it could be about anything which just made my brain freeze up. I was lucky enough to not get picked out.
And with big decisions there's always the pondering about the "road not taken" and how different things could have been. Like what if I picked that other job, or what if didn't start working at all and instead kept studying. If only we could snapshot real life and revert back...
Even small descisions like when someone suddenly asks me something like "Do you want something to drink?". It makes me suddenly have to think about whether or not I want a drink, and most of the time I don't really want or need a drink but I don't not want it if that makes sense.
yeah, it kind of makes sense, i dont have much or a problem with that, i cant really explain why choices are hard, i think if there is a time limit to how long i can take to make a choice, thats where a problem occurs. for example at the moment i am at college, or high school if you are american, and getting food in the cafe area is really difficult, it takes me 20 min or more to decide.
BlackSabre7
Veteran
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Joined: 17 Jan 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 943
Location: Queensland, Australia
This is probably the reason why I usually buy the exact same things, eat the same breakfast, etc. Once I find something I am happy with, I just stick to it.
But the as*holes at the supermarket like to delete items, and they seem to target the things I like.I know it's not personal - but it feels that way, because it means I have to PICK SOMETHING ELSE!!
I feel I want to paint like Van Gough, and know I can do extremely well at it, but I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO PAINT!!
I did so well at art in school because they would tell you what topic to do. But on my own, I am like an elite sports car without a steering wheel.
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