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HeyimJoel
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Joined: 20 Aug 2012
Age: 33
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Posts: 48
Location: Australia

10 Mar 2013, 9:08 am

I can't socialize anymore i'm no good at it. It's not going to get better so why do I keep trying? Considering bad things.. :cry:



whirlingmind
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Joined: 25 Oct 2007
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10 Mar 2013, 9:12 am

Do have any social skills programme in your area? Aspies can learn things too.


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DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum


HeyimJoel
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Joined: 20 Aug 2012
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Location: Australia

10 Mar 2013, 9:15 am

I know a lot of things, but I can't seem to do what everyone else does..



TommyGun991
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Joined: 2 Dec 2012
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10 Mar 2013, 9:48 am

My problem is that I know what to do in most cases, through trial and error, but I don't want to do it because it feels artificial and stupid.



HeyimJoel
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Joined: 20 Aug 2012
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10 Mar 2013, 9:53 am

I feel almost there but just out of reach



rickskyscraper
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10 Mar 2013, 10:11 am

Are you trying to socialize with people who are reasonable? By this I mean, people who can think and understand, and even have compassion?

I understand the frustration of all this. Many people that I am in contact with see me as very capable. If they could see the hard work behind my "social front" they'd be very surprised at how hard it is for me to seem "normal." They might wonder why I put myself through so much.

If you ask yourself what is it that you need from interactions, you may discover that you are asking the other people to give you something they cannot. You feel fake, or out of place because the person you are is out of tune with the whole of the situation.

I act "normal" to have a job. I am in a line of work that has many expectations. My needs are filled by teaching and nurturing people in their spiritual lives. So, in my case the socializing is in a context. Context IS everything and makes socializing easier for me. Some other parts of the work are very, very damaging to me and makes me exhausted. I never show my whole self to anyone, they would make fun of me just like the kids in school. People just don't understand what it's like to be this way. But, I am not discouraged anymore.

It gets better, don't do anything rash.

Just my take, your mileage may vary.


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TinyDancer
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Joined: 8 Feb 2013
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10 Mar 2013, 12:36 pm

We all have bad days. Some of us have a lot of bad days. But not all days are bad.

You have to keep trying. Defend yourself. Be on your own side. You try something and it doesn't work. So look at it and try to figure out why. Stand up. take a deep breath. modify your strategy. and jump back in.



Cfroi
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Joined: 23 Jul 2012
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Location: Hong Kong

10 Mar 2013, 2:39 pm

The way aspergers live is by trying to follow the artificial social norms while following oneself's instinct.
My way is to take a very characteristic style and only follow the concept of socialing without taking up the exact step. The shortcoming? Majority hates.
Just tell yourself, so what? And live freely.


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William
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My NT score: 35%
You are sort of neurotypical but shows signs of autism. You probably enjoy intellectual activities more than socializing or maybe you enjoy socializing, but you aren't genius at it. You could be autistic, but may not be.