Anyone here get mad when people talk the long past or future

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neptunekh
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05 Jan 2019, 4:48 pm

I'm so sick of people talking about how I acted in the past or what will I do when my mother is too old in the future. I only want to focus on the present which means right freaking now! I can't handle people talking about different time frames of my life because then I get really angry.



shortfatbalduglyman
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05 Jan 2019, 7:07 pm

and i love to talk about the distant past.

favorite subjects:

mister redelings
structural engineering
13 year old summer
SAT in 12th grade
homophobic landlord


the future looks bleak. maybe nonexistent. do not particularly want to discuss the future.



ToughDiamond
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05 Jan 2019, 11:19 pm

My own future beyond a few weeks has never felt real enough to think about. I'm fine thinking about my past though.



shortfatbalduglyman
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05 Jan 2019, 11:22 pm

In the future, my health will get worse

$$ will run out

And I will look like a woman

Nobody will hire me

And no friends



nick007
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05 Jan 2019, 11:53 pm

It bothered me when my mom talked about mine because she was always putting me down & making me feel like a loser for being dependent on her & dad instead of having a job(I was applying at most every place I could think of that might of had something I could do) & still living at home with my parents due to no other options.


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Dear_one
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06 Jan 2019, 2:29 am

neptunekh wrote:
I'm so sick of people talking about how I acted in the past or what will I do when my mother is too old in the future. I only want to focus on the present which means right freaking now! I can't handle people talking about different time frames of my life because then I get really angry.


Most people have "executive functioning" - an ability to plan and organize in order to stay fed and warm. If you have none, and depend on your mother, some day you will be hungry and cold. That is not the best time to learn new ways, and well-meant warnings currently just irritate your denial. If you are unable to take care of yourself, you are currently lucky to be able to enjoy the present, unless pain is just variety to you.



Fireblossom
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06 Jan 2019, 5:26 am

Talking about the past is something I agree with you. I just don't see a point with bringing up something personal that can no longer be changed unless it's very relevant to the current situation. For example, my mom telling me about my medical history from when I was a child is absolutely fine since it's necessary information. However, my mom telling "funny stories" about my childhood, to other people no less, is not necessary. If my grandparents were still alive I'd get revenge on her by asking them for "funny" stories about mom's childhood and spreading them around... hmm, but she does have quite a few living siblings. Am I being a brat? Yes, but getting a taste of her own medicine would probably do some good to my mom.

As for the future, I have the opposite problem with my mom. I'd love to talk about future with my mom (or anyone really), about what my plans are and all, but she tends to change the subject or not really listen if I try. I don't really know why, maybe she thinks I'm aiming too high and will just be dissapointed when I fail. And yes, she really seems to think "when", not "if." She doesn't have a lot of faith in me due to my autism and physical disability, and while I don't deny the possibility of her being right, I'm stilla gonna try and would like it if she was supportive of my dreams. And it's not like I'm really even aiming that high; most people would consider what I'm reaching for to be a normal life. To me it just is something I really have to fight for since my chances of reaching it are lower than an average person's.



ezbzbfcg2
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07 Jan 2019, 3:28 pm

Dear_one wrote:
neptunekh wrote:
I'm so sick of people talking about how I acted in the past or what will I do when my mother is too old in the future. I only want to focus on the present which means right freaking now! I can't handle people talking about different time frames of my life because then I get really angry.


Most people have "executive functioning" - an ability to plan and organize in order to stay fed and warm. If you have none, and depend on your mother, some day you will be hungry and cold. That is not the best time to learn new ways, and well-meant warnings currently just irritate your denial. If you are unable to take care of yourself, you are currently lucky to be able to enjoy the present, unless pain is just variety to you.


Well said.

May I ask, how did you get your act together?: Did you always have good executive functioning skills, did you have the wherewithal to realize you'd need to learn them, or did you learn the hard way?



Dear_one
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07 Jan 2019, 4:33 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
May I ask, how did you get your act together?: Did you always have good executive functioning skills, did you have the wherewithal to realize you'd need to learn them, or did you learn the hard way?

My father got me a summer job and a boarding house when I was 17, but didn't want me to come home. I had a car, and some skills, but not a full set. I've been homeless a few times, but never particularly hungry.



shortfatbalduglyman
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09 Jan 2019, 7:47 pm

Their actions caused immediate, drastic, damage that has lasted to this day


What is wrong with talking about it?


No statue of limitations


Forgi

No apology, much less financial reparations

Is not automatic after seven years

Mister redelings

Homophobia

Bullying



LisaM1031
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15 Jan 2019, 3:45 pm

I’ve Met a lot of people over the years that seemed obsessed with talking about their childhood and high school years. Does this seem to be a common NT thing? That a lot of them seem to have “peaked” in high school? I get so sick of hearing of all the sports people played back in the day, who was president of their class, every trend they followed etc. I am somewhat new to this community and a self diagnosed Aspie. I prefer not to think about the past because a lot of it was traumatizing. I was overweight, unathletic, didn’t really know how to fit in or relate to other children and had no interest in what most other kids were obsessed with. It absolutely baffles me how people talk about the past in a way that seems like nothing has happened in the 20 years in between. Here I am, trying to move on, better myself, and look towards the future. This apparently is a foreign mindset to a lot of people.



Dear_one
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15 Jan 2019, 4:11 pm

LisaM1031 wrote:
I’ve Met a lot of people over the years that seemed obsessed with talking about their childhood and high school years. Does this seem to be a common NT thing? That a lot of them seem to have “peaked” in high school?


The only high school story I've heard in years was about the day a 15 yr old got expelled, and was soon a touring musician.