Social Awkwardness is only sometimes?

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ColdPop7342
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05 Mar 2013, 5:23 pm

So, my mom says that most parents of Aspies say that their Aspie children are very socially awkward in the house, with their parents, as well as in public around complete strangers.

My mom said she sees that I am very socially awkward, can't make eye contact, can't really talk voluntarily in public.

But she says that at home I am not half as awkward.

I see what she means, but I would still consider myself pretty socially awkward at home too. Plus, I've lived with my family all my life, and I have figured out THEIR social system, how they will react, etc. So I am not as anxious.

But around strangers, I just want to hide in a hole.

So I was wondering, is anyone else on here way more socially awkward when in public, and not as much at home?


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sharkattack
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05 Mar 2013, 5:28 pm

Your 13 I am almost 39 nearly 3 times your age.

Your lucky that you know what you have from such an early age.

Having Aspergers or Autism means we do not real social cues and can not click with people if you know what I mean.

As regards family by living with them all your life you will know them inside out.

I read your other thread and the best thing you could do for yourself is avoid public school at all costs.

At 39 I see feel anger bitterness and hate about my time in school.



kirostun
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05 Mar 2013, 5:30 pm

When i am at home i don't talk much, i am in my room studying or playing. I am the same.
The thing is that when i am out people want me to react to everything in a certain way.



kirostun
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05 Mar 2013, 5:33 pm

sharkattack wrote:
At 39 I see feel anger bitterness and hate about my time in school.

Me too, i am not 39. I hate my time in school too.



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05 Mar 2013, 5:36 pm

kirostun wrote:
When i am at home i don't talk much, i am in my room studying or playing. I am the same.
The thing is that when i am out people want me to react to everything in a certain way.


Original poster my post is half correct and the one in the quote above is also half correct it is a combination of the two.

I spend lot's of time alone at my computer.



sharkattack
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05 Mar 2013, 5:39 pm

kirostun wrote:
sharkattack wrote:
At 39 I see feel anger bitterness and hate about my time in school.

Me too, i am not 39. I hate my time in school too.


I really have no idea how I got through it and it did not make me stronger has left scars in my mind.



kirostun
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05 Mar 2013, 5:41 pm

sharkattack wrote:
Original poster my post is half correct and the one in the quote above is also half correct it is a combination of the two.

I spend lot's of time alone at my computer.

so we are at 100% correct!.



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05 Mar 2013, 5:42 pm

kirostun wrote:
sharkattack wrote:
Original poster my post is half correct and the one in the quote above is also half correct it is a combination of the two.

I spend lot's of time alone at my computer.

so we are at 100% correct!.


A fair assessment. :D

I need to stop posting today I am just feeling a rush after been to the first part of my formal assessment.



ColdPop7342
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05 Mar 2013, 6:02 pm

Sharkattack,

I was just recently taken out of public school (two months ago) and am now in online private school, and it is the best thing my parents have ever done. See, peers have always bullied and hated me, and I finally realised it was my Aspergers when I was diagnosed at 12. Now, if you read this post, you will understand why I do not want to go to public school, and how you completely and utterly support my opinion.

You may just skip down to the list of reasons if you want:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt225455.html

I just posted it a couple of hours ago. It should be on the first page of General Forums still.

And thank you for replying :)


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goldfish21
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05 Mar 2013, 6:09 pm

Yes, that's extremely common - pretty well the norm for aspies.

Strange places, people, sounds, lots of them all = being overwhelmed + anxiety etc. It's quite a challenge to be relaxed and social in public, at school, at work etc. Then much more comfortable in the familiar surroundings of home life.



eric76
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05 Mar 2013, 6:39 pm

sharkattack wrote:
At 39 I see feel anger bitterness and hate about my time in school.


There have been a number of things that I could be bitter about and people who I could hate, but don't seem to be able to do that.

There was a couple of shady business people who literally destroyed a high tech company in which I was one of the largest shareholders in order to avoid paying us the money they owed us. I'm not even bitter about that even though I would probably be a multimillionaire by now if they had been honest. While I avoid those two, I don't hate them for what they did.

One guy I knew in high school quite literally and seriously threatened to kill me at some point in the future. I didn't hate him although I did avoid him as much as possible. I was a bit relieved when he had a heart attack and passed away about five years ago.

But going so far as actually hate people and be bitter about certain life events? Nope.

C'est la vie.



eric76
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05 Mar 2013, 6:43 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Yes, that's extremely common - pretty well the norm for aspies.

Strange places, people, sounds, lots of them all = being overwhelmed + anxiety etc. It's quite a challenge to be relaxed and social in public, at school, at work etc. Then much more comfortable in the familiar surroundings of home life.


At work, I often go hours without talking to anyone at all. Sometimes even days.

This being a small town, social life often centers around the local high school's sports events and around church. I frequently avoid church and it has been years since I've been to any high school sports event.

I don't mind being around a limited number of people. If it is just a few people I'm around, I can usually identify them quite readily. With my prosopagnosia, larger numbers of people can be a problem. I almost always feel extremely awkward when I'm around people who I think I should probably know, but I have no idea if I do know them.



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08 Mar 2013, 12:12 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Yes, that's extremely common - pretty well the norm for aspies.

Strange places, people, sounds, lots of them all = being overwhelmed + anxiety etc. It's quite a challenge to be relaxed and social in public, at school, at work etc. Then much more comfortable in the familiar surroundings of home life.

I think it's worse for me when I'm in uncomfortable situations, but I always have some degree of social awkwardness. I don't always acknowledge people even when I'm at home, I don't make much eye contact even with people I know quite well, etc...