Does aspie body language work on a different frequency?
Does aspie body language (projection/perception) work on a different frequency then NT's do? My psychiatrist had told me that the reason who socializing fails for me is because I am incapable of reading body language( I was born blind to it). But if that where true, Then why do I still have a desire to want to socialize and keep on trying even though it fails miserably. It's like beating a dead house but I defiantly refuse to believe that the horse is dead for some reason. Are aspies able to read body language as efficiently as NT's do but are tune to a different frequency? If you think about. Aspies perceive NT's as aliens and vice-versea.
Yeah I have a problem sometimes reading body language when under stress and during times that I might be having a good time. As you say that aspies have a different way of reading body language is pretty much is right, that and I am positive that I have different ways of expressing myself and the way I show my body language, I was throwing small things into the trash compactor at work and having a fun time as well. Well one lady there said it looked like I was kinda letting off anger while I was doing it.
hartzofspace
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For myself, I have had a life long struggle to read and respond to body language in a timely fashion. Often I find that after a social event or occurrence, I will realize things that were not readily apparent during the interaction, which doesn't help much. I once described this as driving, and having to pull over frequently to consult a driver's manual, which would make one take forever to get anywhere.
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Some aspies can read it and I am sure there are aspies that do have appropriate body language but have a hard time reading others. Some can read it fine but have a hard time having appropriate body language themselves.
I know I have a hard time with it. I have learned some like if I ask a question and they fail to answer it twice, they are probably ignoring me. That is if the room is quiet and I said it loud and clear there is no way they couldn't hear me because they were right there in the room. I do often think about a social situation I was in and then pick on up cues later I didn't see at the time. It's like my brain can't do it at once so I am slow at reading it.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
Until I came to this forum (WP) last year, such an idea didn't even cross my mind that I might be incapable of reading/responding to/using body language. Pretty much all my life I kept failing in developing good relationships with other people. As I have said many times on this forum, when I'm thinking I'm being polite and friendly, I often get a rude response or people start keeping a distance from me. I've always felt very sad about it, but now I'm pretty sure that being "on a different frequency" or even a complete lack of frequency is a contributing factor to my unsuccessful interactions with people. Still I don't know how I can change that or even if I should bother to change that.
I think I know what you mean. Body language and social cues are new concepts to me. I always thought that socializing meant just talking to people. I didn't realize that there were all these other nuances going on. No wonder I never really connected to others. Now I'm not sure if I am unable to read body language or if I just never paid attention to it. Now that I am aware of it I can see it when I watch TV, but I don't think I can copy it without seeming phony and ridiculous. Also, I think I would be overwhelmed by it because it seems so intimate. I think I would much rather talk to someone who had something interesting to say in a monotone voice while looking at the floor or staring at a wall.
All my life. I couldn't and didn't know I couldn't read body language and I wasn't even aware that body language was used in supplementing verbal communication. Hell. I never herd of the word "aspergers". It wasn't until September of last year when I ran into a psychiatrist on break at a Starbucks in Seattle who came up to me and tell me what was going on. Only then was I aware of what was going on. Now that I now know I can't read body language. It's helping me to improve my social skills quite a bit but I still have a long ways to go. As the old saying goes "Knowing is half the battle".
I think I know what you mean. Body language and social cues are new concepts to me. I always thought that socializing meant just talking to people. I didn't realize that there were all these other nuances going on. No wonder I never really connected to others. Now I'm not sure if I am unable to read body language or if I just never paid attention to it. Now that I am aware of it I can see it when I watch TV, but I don't think I can copy it without seeming phony and ridiculous. Also, I think I would be overwhelmed by it because it seems so intimate. I think I would much rather talk to someone who had something interesting to say in a monotone voice while looking at the floor or staring at a wall.
My psychiatrist show me some love and romance videos and had ask me if I felt anything. I sad yes. I was felling a kind of weak warm floating sensation. My psychiatrist replied to and said that I just read and responded to body language. I told my psychiatrist that feeling just came out of nowhere and he replied. Reading body language is a subconscious act. You instinctively process the visual information and a felling is created out of nowhere. It turns out that a romantic since generates the strongest body language output and that's why I was able to get a weak response to it. It's like being 99% blind and if you look at the sun. You can still see a white dot. I was glad my psychiatrist pointed this out to me. It's been a really big help.
Me, too. It would be much more comfortable/enjoyable when the content of the speech is interesting.
That psychiatrist was very kind to come and tell you, a stranger, something that might not please you. Also, it was good that you listened to him. (By the way, I love Starbucks coffee.)
Same here. All this non-verbal communication drives me crazy. When I started waking up to it, somewhere in my late 30’s, at first I called it “the secret language of idiots.” They spoke utter nonsense, but they would all nod and smile as though they understood each other. Then I found out about Aspergers more than a decade later. I get it now, but I still don’t really get it.
It’s like – You can coach from a wheel chair; you can understand a game completely and still not be able to play the game. My understanding is helpful, but it’s still from the point of view of an alien anthropologist. I don’t have the basic equipment necessary to participate.
Wow. A useful shrink. I’ve never seen one of them. What else does he say? Has he published anything? Now I wish I lived in Washington. Does he know anyone who practices on the east coast?
I'm pretty sure I can understand really obvious social cues (especially facial expressions; as long as I can see the mouth and eyebrows, I'm fine, but if it's just the eyes, I have no clue what's going on). In fact, I'm not completely sure if I'm that socially crippled. I do know that I get really awkward all the time and I don't like people looking at me (similarly, I don't like looking at them either).
According to my sister, I'm "better than one would expect from someone who is AS"; I can read some social cues, and I'm only oblivious some of the time. Also, apparently my body language sends a lot of mixed messages (I'm happy, but I come off as sad or angry, and vice versa).
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