I should add that many people in these type of cases (like I've done in the past regarding my VA disability) often put too much faith into their attorney. One thing to consider, the attorney is working on a bunch of cases at the same time, so every aspect of his job is in a strict time management situation, and much of his job is passed on to his staff (depending on the size of the firm, but if you knew how much his legal secretary did for him, you'd feel like you were overpaying him). In my case, I had some problems with my VA claim because my attorney has experienced a high turn over rate with his employees, so things are backed up and lost in his office. I often call and ask if there's anything I can or should be doing for my case, and they say no. Then when case day came up in a very informal court type thing, I wasn't prepared because I did need to be doing things. So, just think what the judge might need for his case, and don't depend on the attorney to have it. You make sure you have it and let the attorney know before hand what you brought.
Most of this should be paperwork if you reside in the United States. Testimony is only really there to clarify some things or to back up some things (like you might need a witness like yourself to testify that your husband has been out of work for so long). Always make sure dates match in your testimonies. If you said on paper that he's been unemployed since December 14, 2008, make sure your testimony says, "sometime in December of 2008." If he has been unemployed for over a year, I would certainly bring previous tax returns with you to show that. If he hasn't, it still might come in handy to show the last x amount of years of his employment income (and you might want to do an excel spreadsheet showing how much he paid per year in alimony vs how much he made and figure a general percentage of his pay check finding an average so that someone can safely say "On average for the last 5 years, 80% of his pay check has gone to alimony," and then if someone says prove it, you can prove it. That might be overkill, but I now try to envision Judge Judy calling me stupid for not bringing it when it comes to these things. You might also need record of his alimony payments in case his ex tries to say, "I haven't received any payments from him for 3 years now." I don't know the relationship between him and his ex, but if she depends on that money, she's going to fight pretty hard to keep it in this day and age.
The problem with Aspies is mainly in testimony and trusting people. So, don't trust anyone (you can, but you don't have to not be prepared as a result...like I trust every landlord I meet before i move into an apartment, but it doesn't stop me from writing down everything that's wrong with the apartment and taking pictures of it all before moving in even though i always believe the landlord is going to be cool about it).
As far as testimony, his main problems should be monologues and volunteering too much info. If he doesn't usually have these problems, then he should be okay. If he does, avoid special interest topics because they tend to bring out monologues beyond an Aspie's control. Remind him to answer the question (and only the question asked) and only provide information relevant to the case. Yes and No answers should be a yes or no, but it's okay to add a 3 second phrase if you keep it that short. He is allowed to clarify things that people seem to misunderstand, and he's allowed to be overly honest even if it sounds like he's giving a point to his ex. That usually gives him credibility and shows character. Like in my case against my rapist, I had said that the guy was a really nice guy and I wouldn't change on that, and I also said he was good looking, and the defense tried to use that against me until I pointed at people in the courtroom saying they were goodlooking, men and women, and worked my way to the defense attorney where I abruptly stopped to not include him, and then I said all those people are good looking people none of which i would take home with me for a night of intimacy. Attorneys use a lot of logical fallacies trying to trip up people talking, and in my case, they tried to use goodlooking and someone I'd like to have sex with synonymously, which was wrong, and I called them out on it. Your husband's Aspergers should help him identify that easily and honestly be able to counteract it. If you want to give him some practice, make him debate with people in an internet forum as it's great debate practice. Maybe even analyze the tricks people use to attempt to win a debate (my best line of defense is to point out the flaws in someone else's argument generally). (ALSO, mind you, my rape charge stuck from my testimony alone, and the other rape cases were dropped after hearing the victims' testimonies).
The important thing to consider, if he's really in the right, then honesty is his best policy. Tell him to just be honest in that case. Now, if anything is wrong in his case even if he feels he's right but most people would see his opinion as wrong, then honesty wouldn't work, and Aspies don't work well with lies. The only time in my life where I lose when I was in the right is when I don't try. It sounds like he's in the right in this situation, so his honesty should work in his favor here. I would still practice the courtroom setting with him and your attorney to make sure his honesty isn't coming across wrong.
07 Aug 2009, 3:56 pm
