Accomadating house guests

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Hi all

I just wanted your opinions on having house guests to stay for a few days.

Am I wrong for liking my home a certain way and not particularly liking my things moved around by my guest?
I dislike change and my friend doesnt really understand why it frustrates me so much.

I can deal with them having their stuff in my house like things that they need, but I dont understand why they request my stuff be moved.

Does anyboidy else have these kind of problems with house guests and could offer me any advice on how I can cope with it??

You couldn't get me to have house guests at gunpoint. My brother, whom I shared a room with as kids, is the only "house guest" I've ever had. How did you get yourself into such a predicament?! You're just gonna have to grin and bear it. Scream into a pillow. And than put things back into order when they finally scram. Next time fake having strep throat or the bubonic plague.

I hate house guests too. This has caused much friction between me and my in-laws. They think there is something wrong with me, and conversely I think there is something wrong with them and their intrusiveness and lack of boundaries.

I don't mind my own house guests as long as I know exactly when they're arriving and exactly when they're leaving. I hate my husband's house guests because of their high unknown factor quality. I never know where they're going to be in the house and it makes me uncomfortable, like they'll keep popping up on me like Freddy Krueger. I don't know what they're going to eat that I'll have to replenish or how much toilet paper they're going to use, etc. etc. And I hate my stuff being moved around and extra messes that I'll be expected to clean up. It stresses me out to the xxx! power.

My husband is having a guest overnight next week. Bless his soul, he gave me a week to mentally prepare for this as he know it is a problem for me. Luckily it is only for one night. He'll be gone by time I wake up, so there won't be too much disruption. Phew!

Can you give them like one bureau top in the bedroom and counter space in the bathroom?

And maybe just tell them . . And please remember, I don't like having my stuff moved. And maybe that's a little different, but that's me.

Some individuals have a seperate bedroom for guests. I had that sort of arrangement at one point, but it was a short-term stop-gap. My house just is'nt configured for it.

While I have relatively few problems staying with people occasionally (though rarely stay over night) in a reasonably clean home, I have a huge issue with people being in my house even just for brief visits.

Thats horrible, tell them not to touch your things. It's disrespectful of house guests to touch things without permission, it's so rude.
I could not tolerate that i'd probably scare them out in less than several seconds good luck aiiiiiiiiii the thought alone makes me cringe

I hate having people over, but my husband keeps inviting them. I know he enjoys get togethers and socializing, but it's just too much sometimes. In a perfect world, we'd have separate but adjoining domiciles--everybody's happy.

I do not mind house guests as long as:

They don't keep telling me what to do or how to do things
They respect my belongings and don't break them
They let me go do my own thing sometimes whilst they are here (I can't fixate on them 24/7 I need some space. Yes I will consider their needs and give them some attention but sometimes I need to just go somewhere where I can be without having to be anything at all. I care about people, I really do, but their constant needing all the time is a massive drain on my energy)
They don't keep telling me when to eat, what to eat, or keep on about what they think I should be doing when I am happy with what I am doing already.
They don't disturb my sleep (I'm a bad sleeper and I need my rest).

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If they want to hang around without trying to control every aspect of my life that is fine.

It sounds harder than it is meant so to put it another way:

We are all individuals, who are sharing some space. I do not mind sharing that space as long as I can remain an individual at the time with my own likes and preferences and the freedom to do the things I want to do as long as it harms no one and does not cause any damage to anything they own.

It does not however include inconsiderately running around doing what one likes without consideration for others sharing the space with them.

Ie if one is a bad sleeper and they suffer from migraines as a result of disturbed sleep or sleep deprivation it is not bloody funny to keep waking them up or keep making so much noise they can't get to sleep in the first place. And no they are not being difficult if they complain.

And so on...

Last edited by bumble on 29 Mar 2013, 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No one, other than my daughter, ever wants to stay with me and that is stressful when she is here as I am invaded! I have been known to offer but always heave a sigh of relief when people have declined the offer. If anyone leaves worktops unwiped, towels dripping on the floor etc, etc, I just cringe until I can sort it out without upsetting them. I would never willingly stay with anyone except my daughter as I feel very uncomfortable in other people's homes overnight.

In my old age, I got to the point where I just refused. I don't do houseguests. That is probably more difficult to do when you live with others, like a spouse.

I couldn't stand anyone else using my bathroom or sitting on my chair, or invading my personal space.

I don't mind if they move my things or are a bit messy...I'm not that amazing at housekeeping myself
I just find the extra stimulation draining. You have to be always aware of another body in the house. Let alone if they don't get on with you!
I find it hard enough with the constant stimulation of my husband and two kids, but they're more used to my idiosyncrasies.
So I usually border on rude by leaving them to entertain themselves a lot

Very well put!

Having people over is my idea of hell. I am not a natural hostess, I find it really stressful wondering if they will like the food. I feel the pressure to be up at the crack of dawn washed and dressed and ready to serve them breakfast, before they are even up. I feel like my home is not my own. I hate having to wait for the bathroom. I hate the noise they make. I hate having to make conversation. I feel so unrelaxed that I can't go to the bathroom with the door open if I choose to, and that I have to have a schedule of entertainment for each day (which I am clueless at) and all sorts of other things.

And I just want to sterilise the toilet seat after other people have used it.