I believed and followed the company vision

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Jabberwokky
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28 Feb 2013, 4:45 am

I feel a little let down because I bought into and followed a company vision. I am an aspie in a high-powered job. I wonder often how I made it to where I am. They put up a vision of the company getting a lot bigger and were going on about how we need to do our jobs believing in this vision. In other words we had to 'back ourselves'. Well, I have been doing that and coming up with some really positive strategies. Furthermore, I have been communicating and acting on these. I certainly haven't gone off and just done them; I have put a lot of time into consulting others. However, it seems people either don't think I have talked to them enough and/or my ideas/strategies are not suitable because nobody ever really believed we were going to grow. Once again, I find myself having taken literally the vision and worked passionately towards it but now am out on a limb.

Its a bit like being a soldier who charges when the order to charge is made but when at the advanced stage of the charge, glance around looking for the brothers-in-arms and find oneself alone. It doesn't do much for the faith (not that I have any) in people.

In fact, it just makes me sick and I want to leave society and become a bum. The only reason I don't do that is my wife and kids.


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goldfish21
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28 Feb 2013, 4:54 am

Sounds like part of why, despite my education, I don't see myself ever subjecting myself to the corporate way of life. Other people are just too frustrating w/ stuff like this.

As for your situation, it is what it is and you've got to deal with it. Sounds like everyone else was just paying lip service to whoever they had to for the sake of kissing corporate ass in order to maintain or improve their position in the pecking order - saying and doing whatever it is they have to in order to keep their paycheques coming... good ol' tell me how I'm measured and I'll show you how I'll behave mentality.

I'd guess what you've been working on is good stuff, but since it bucks the social convention of not doing anything (lol frustrating, I know.) I'd also guess your best bet is to tone it down and match your pace of change to that of those around you.. as they say, "When in Rome.." Then you won't have anyone accusing you of sucking up or trying to make them look bad with their lack of efforts. As frustrating as it is to not just go ahead and solve problems at the pace our brains can do it, sometimes less really is more - especially when you're measuring social connections and career advancement opportunities, as a gung-ho all star is sure to find himself on the outside of many social circles and/or shipped off to a broom closet somewhere so that whoever your superiors are don't feel threatened (in their jobs) by you.



Jabberwokky
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28 Feb 2013, 5:02 am

You are so right goldfish.

The trouble is that my compulsive obsessiveness is what makes me good at what I do. When I decide to go for something it is with a passion that others can't match. It certainly does threaten more senior people. The difficulty I have is that switching on the passion is easy but turning it off or putting on the brakes is well nigh impossible. Try stopping an oil tanker travelling at top speed. It won't.

When I get disappointed by the lack of support, it often results in me changing jobs and/or going through a spate of depression. I really don't want to do that all over again but I just don't know what to do about it. If I can't pursue the passion I really am at a loss. I can't just twiddle thumbs and play nice corporate tiddly winks.


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awesomeautist
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28 Feb 2013, 5:09 am

Jabberwokky wrote:
I feel a little let down because I bought into and followed a company vision. I am an aspie in a high-powered job. I wonder often how I made it to where I am. They put up a vision of the company getting a lot bigger and were going on about how we need to do our jobs believing in this vision. In other words we had to 'back ourselves'. Well, I have been doing that and coming up with some really positive strategies. Furthermore, I have been communicating and acting on these. I certainly haven't gone off and just done them; I have put a lot of time into consulting others. However, it seems people either don't think I have talked to them enough and/or my ideas/strategies are not suitable because nobody ever really believed we were going to grow. Once again, I find myself having taken literally the vision and worked passionately towards it but now am out on a limb.

Its a bit like being a soldier who charges when the order to charge is made but when at the advanced stage of the charge, glance around looking for the brothers-in-arms and find oneself alone. It doesn't do much for the faith (not that I have any) in people.

In fact, it just makes me sick and I want to leave society and become a bum. The only reason I don't do that is my wife and kids.


I feel bad for you bro. It is easy to get sucked in by corporate propaganda. Companies come with all that bollocks to make sure their staff are controlled, productive and don't ask questions. When I was younger I was taken in by that garbage from a certain well known company here in the UK and felt deeply betrayed when I realised they were just using me. I left that job with a really foul taste in my mouth and still feel angry when I see any of the companies branches or see it being advertised. The worst part is they target graduates with all these shining promises that are worth sh*t. I have good job now but I take all company propaganda with a huge pinch of salt.



goldfish21
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28 Feb 2013, 5:10 am

And that's why I've never really pursued such a job and do other things instead. When I can, I'll put my own one-track-mind Aspie passion into self employment where I'm free to go full speed on whatever I see fit, and sink or swim by it - but be content in being able to do what I see as the right moves w/o anyone hindering me. Until then I'll work for whomever doing whatever, while avoiding the whole corporate social structure frustrations like the plague lol.

However, if I were in one and had to make it work, I'd have to find a way to get myself under control so as not to get so frustrated with the social norms around me. Find your balance however you need to, with whatever works for you. Diet, exercise, meditation, music, medication etc etc. I'm sure you've tried some things in the past, but there are many many different things we can incorporate into our lives to try to keep an even keel so we don't end up letting our Aspie traits rock the boat so hard.



Jabberwokky
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28 Feb 2013, 5:35 am

I am a hybrid because I am very systems/process oriented, have really good computer and administrative skills but I also handle the construction/engineering aspects of front-line construction project work really well. I have a managerial role in a discipline that is relevant across the whole business cycle so I can move from the frontline/operational end all the way to the marketing end. I am strangely 'flexible' for an aspie. I think its more a case of holding to a philosophical 'true north' irrespective of circumstance and having a wide range of skill sets that empower me to keep sailing in one direction no matter what the situation. I don't deviate. You might be able to guess what I do for a living lol.

I do have an escape though. I am waiting for a Work Visa for a distant place where construction projects are underway. When this happens, I will get to spend extended periods on project sites. It won't eliminate the discrepancies between stated company strategy and daily decisions and behaviour but it gets me back to real things that don't lie.


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