Bullying

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Okay, so I just watched Alex's new video on dealing with bullying, and it made me think of something. I have a different problem with it: ever since 12th grade there has been this group of boys who discovered how sensitive I am to noise, so now every time I walk down the street and they're driving past and see me, they honk the horn and make me jump out of my skin. They'll drive around the block and do it three or four times. I don't know what they look like, and they use a lot of different cars so I can never tell when they're coming. I get nervous just hearing a car driving up behind me when walking down the street anymore. I'm not sure what to do about it because I can't control my reaction, so I have no way of "ignoring it" to make it stop myself. I've been tempted to call the cops on them, but I'm not sure if that would be overkill. What would you guys do?

Hmm. It is a criminal offense to use the horn unnecessarilly, quite apart from this being harrassment. I'm not sure dobbing them in would change their behaviour, but it's worth a go. You might also try changing your walking route, or the times you go walking and/ or wering ear plugs.

Or you could let their tires down....

Wow, this bothers me. I don't have a good idea right now, but I'm writing in order to kind of bookmark this. I'll get back.

Police are rarely helpful when there is no crime, legally speaking. You do not know the level of malevolence of the offenders; whether they are ignorant joy riders or whether they are sadistic and likely to increase the abuse if you react in a new way. You do not want to pull them in on top of you any more than they already are.

For now, consider going under their radar. Change your look or change your routine for a time. I recently went into my workplace wearing different type of clothing/colors than usual and with sunglasses on. No one recognized me unless or until I spoke. And those are people I have worked with for 2 years, six days a week.

I know that it's unfair to need to make changes because jerks are being mean, but the goal is to rid yourself of a nasty situation. If you go off their map for a while, they may get out of the routine of looking for you or noticing you.

That's a good idea, I'll try it. Going under the radar is tricky in my town since it's very small, and I literally have two routes to use to get where I need to be, but maybe I'll try the less obvious one and see what happens.

I hear people honk their horns every time I walk down the street. It's never directed at me. In rush hour people are honking almost non-stop. You must live in a small town.

If I were you I'd just let it go, I'm sure they'll grow tired of it eventually. I know this isn't very good advice but I don't know what else you could do. Going to the police is a waste of time. It's not actually illegal to honk your horn unnecessarily unless there's a specific law in your jurisdiction that prohibits unnecessary use of the horn. Even if it's illegal, it's not going to be enforced.

I can't remember the last time I heard anyone honk their horn around here except during the 4th of July parade every other year. (We're not big enough to have a 4th of July celebration every year so we only have them on even numbered years.)

It can be hard to let it go.
I don't know if it's the same for the OP, but unexpected noises, or anything else that triggers my startle response, can make me feel like I've just had an electric shock.

I would wear some really good (discreet) earplugs so that it is muffled and you don't react (or you could wear headphones and play music to drown it out). After so long of seeing you not react they will get too bored to do it because they won't get a reaction. They are idiots who will sadly then go and find someone else to annoy, but at least it won't be you.

I am similar, except not sure I would compare it with an electric shock but I do jump and then it takes around an hour to calm down again. It's actually very unpleasant physically and not entirely sure but it might even be further damaging psychologically if it's consistent enough. I hate to think I could be reduced to a jumpy vegetable by someone making a bunch of loud noise at me.

To the OP, maybe noise canceling headphones would be worth a try...you could get ear bud ones that aren't too visible then it wouldn't be so obvious why you're suddenly better able to ignore it. I don't know to what length these jerks are willing to go to cause you problems but do be careful and if it starts getting taken further you might need outside help....but hopefully they'd just back off once they aren't getting much reaction. Uhh I hate that I don't have any great advice....it pisses me off people go out of their way to be jerks.

True, does the same thing for me if I'm not expecting it. I guess when cars are honking a lot, such as in a city, it's less likely to cause the startle reflex every single time because you expect it more.

Thanks for the input guys, you've had some good ideas. I like the idea of noise-cancelling headphones and have looked into them before to use in other situations, but they are ridiculously expensive. I do have ear plugs I could try though. Sweetleaf, for me it's less of an electric shock and more like nausea that lingers for several seconds, and for the time the feeling lasts I get inexplicably frustrated and feel like punching somebody out. There was a kid at the restaurant where I used to work who used to think it was funny to chuck ice cubes into my sink at random intervals, making the metal clang and spooking me, he thought it was hysterical but I was ready to strangle him. I don't know why people seem to think that scaring others is such entertainment.

Thanks for the input guys, you've had some good ideas. I like the idea of noise-cancelling headphones and have looked into them before to use in other situations, but they are ridiculously expensive. I do have ear plugs I could try though. Sweetleaf, for me it's less of an electric shock and more like nausea that lingers for several seconds, and for the time the feeling lasts I get inexplicably frustrated and feel like punching somebody out. There was a kid at the restaurant where I used to work who used to think it was funny to chuck ice cubes into my sink at random intervals, making the metal clang and spooking me, he thought it was hysterical but I was ready to strangle him. I don't know why people seem to think that scaring others is such entertainment.

I find that those little foam earplugs (I get them at the chemist) are pretty good for blocking out sound. They aren't as good as noise-cancelling headphones, but they do make a real difference and they're cheap.

Or silicone earplugs. Silicone ones last a long time. A bit more expensive than foam ones, but still affordable.

I don't mean to make it more complicated, but when you are out, you might not want to completely block noise out. If anything happens around you, you need to hear it quickly so that you can run or defend yourself. I'm saying this because I have an experience of being mugged and the first thing I noticed was that the noise of being followed though I didn't think much of it initially. But now I'm careful not to miss any funny noise around so I can identify dangers.