Are you Bi? (both AS and NT)

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Sorry i don't mean bisexual, i mean bi-personality: are you originally AS, but later trained yourself and created a new NT personality.

I am like this. I was strongly AS as a child, but i aggressively forced myself to be NT, because i hated myself and wanted to improve my life. I was severely geeky, anti-social, reclusive, no friends, i was always engrossed in my books and my imagination. By the time i entered high school, being different caused me so much stress and self-hatred, i wanted to totally rebuild myself. It was a very painful process over several years, but i succeeded to be strongly NT. However the true result was AS was not erased, just covered up by NT.

I am happy to have a strong outgoing NT side, because i can meet so many people, have many friendships, wonderful adventures and excellent experiences. I appreciate the AS side too because it definitely makes me colorful, unique and very interesting to others. But that same AS side eventually ruins things. For example, i have made met so many people, had many friendships, but i still do not have any friends, because something they do irritates me, so i hate them and reject them. Regarding groups, jobs and organizations, i can easily enter, be accepted and make a great start, but i eventually notice their imperfections, feel very irritated, and want to leave.

If you are both, how do you balance between AS and NT, because i always have wild swings between two strong AS and NT extremes, and it definitely causes problems. I want to control this.

I probably am a hybrid of AS/NT now as well. The most important thing to consider is time for yourself to re-energize and go back out there and keep at it. If all you are doing is spending time with other people and not enough time for yourself, you will probably go full swing back into your AS tendencies. That's my take on it.

In any aspie test, I tend to land slightly on the aspie side (AQ 33, Aspiequiz 110, NT 98 and so on). I´m a half-pint.
I have wondered about myself, because I always felt different and "impossible" with odd shortcomings that baffled and irritated others on one hand and very good abilities on the other. My friends teased me about my understanding literally and not grasping jokes and drifting aside in coversations, and called me "aspie", - so I started reading and doing tests.
Professionals have told me, that I have autistic traits, and now, that I come to think of it, I acted fairly autistic as a child, and Tony Attwoods description of aspie teenager girl resembles me as a teen quite a lot.
As an adult I have had lots of psychotherapy for depressions and anxiety, - and I always thought, I was neurotic and dependant, but a lot of things didn´t make sense. They are beginning to now.
I am rather social, though, and well liked, but have often been criticised for my "faults": introversion, special interests, obsessions among others. Now I can enjoy them, because they are just some characteristics of mine:) If others have a problem with that, - it´s their problem!

Have always been on the severe side of Aspergers and I don't plan to try to change anytime soon after 66 years of being really different. And besides I would probably fail miserably since I was born that way. Kind of like trying to change a person's sexual orientation, it won't happen.

I'm mild and have always been on the mild end so that is close to NT. I knew as a young child I was different despite being mild but I was speech delayed then and also had language problems growing up. I tend to score aspie on aspie tests and I score in the low 30's on the AQ test or in the late twenties. I was worse when I was a kid but got better as I got older. My AS just comes and goes and none of my symptoms are black and white.

I've always skewed toward the AS side of things--and if I do indeed have it, I'm fairly mildly impacted by it--but I seem to pass for NT most of the time, albeit quiet, seemingly "shy," very fidgety, and a little quirky. My aspie traits tend to become more noticeable in certain circumstances, though. If I get excited, I start to talk loud and fast and interrupt others, and may not pay attention to whether anyone else is listening or cares about what I'm talking about. It's the same when I get upset--I tend to shut down or melt down, depending on the trigger. If I'm fully absorbed in something, good luck getting me to listen to you. My sister told me outright not long ago that she "knew for a while" that I showed signs of AS. Whether I meet any diagnostic criteria is beyond me, so I go with "I have some Asperger's tendencies."

....

Well, according to the new adjustments made to the "Aspie Quiz," I'm both AS and NT. It's kinda weird cuz I took the Aspie Quiz a couple weeks ago on my birthday, and there were all these different photos of people's eyes, and from these dropdown menus you were supposed to guess what "mood" the eyes were trying to convey. I found it kind of annoying and wish they hadn't added that, but that's just me.

But yes - according to the most recent quiz I took, I am both AS and NT.

I'm still AS but when I was a kid, as much as my mother denies it I was a severe AS. I can pass for NT now thanks to plenty of hard work but let's not kid ourselves, I'm too hopelessly obsessed with my special interests and to quote another WP member am as subtle as a chainsaw.

It depends when I take the test my scores are often different but by no more than a few points points.

Origional: AQ - 33 ASPIE TEST - 122/200 AS and 181/200 NT (most likely an aspie)
Recent: AQ - 29 ASPIE TEST - 118/200 AS and 189/200 NT (both NT and AS)

Either I am very close but not quite AS or AS but 'mildly' effected, by it. This matches how I feel, a backwards version of normal, it's hard to know where to draw the line do I have issues or not. I have no struggle with ToM for instance and no awareness of training in this area but no idea how to make my way into a conversation without offending people by over-talking them by accident.

I do try to be fully NT out of necessity and it is incredibly draining.

I don't know. I feel like I am an NT with AS, if that makes sense. Underneath, I am willing to be confident, have a busy social life, go out to noisy bars, and work in an extremely busy restaurant or pub and having to make social contact with customers and working with loud people. I really want that. But I have this AS s**t that has grabbed hold of my soul and is really holding me back from doing all of these. It's very complicated to explain though, because people just say ''well if you were that willing to do all that then you would, regardless of what's holding you back''. But it doesn't always work like that. It'd be a bit like somebody with no legs really wanting to run a race (actually running), but being unable to because he has got no legs and can't do anything beyond using a wheelchair, which he is getting fed up with. He is really interested in sports, and it'd be a bit like saying ''he's an athlete in a disabled person's body. He desperately wants to do things where you got to use your legs but he can't''. So with me you could say ''I'm a social butterfly in an Aspie's body. I desperately want to do things where you socialise and interact with people but I can't''.

I feel odd in that I have the extreme ends of both. On one hand, I'm actually probably more outgoing than the average NT is, and it's always been that way, except as a teenager when I was "depressed." On the other hand, I have special interests, and am as socially awkward or more so than most people I've met with AS. That and I've learned to dress and groom reasonably well so I "look" normal, too.