how weird is this and should i feel ashamed?

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I dont like going to the dr by myself and i like my dad to go in the room with me. I'm 23. I have a lot of knowledge about some conditions I possibly have, and in the past doctors refused to order testing for me, and i dont have the backbone to push them to do what they are supposed to do. Having my dad in the room with me, wil help me stand up for myself. I'm also getting my balls checked because i felt something in there..and dont want to be alone with the dr.

If your father's presence makes you feel more comfortable you have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 19 and my mother has to accompany me to my appointments as I often have difficulty communicating with my doctor.

it's actually recommended to have someone go with you to doctor visits. the other person may remember instructions that you forget.

thanks for the replies. I mainly ask because I remember when iw as seeing my old dr(i changed insurance) she commented on me always bringing someone. I also notice I get looks when i bring someone.

oh well...it's my health ill do what i need to

I like having a parent accompany me to the doctor's office as well, even now. But around 16 (?), I worked up enough confidence to go into the actual room without them.

And I'm the same way when it comes to setting up appointments, or ordering food over the phone. I still prefer someone else to do it for me even though I'm quite capable of doing so myself.

I'm pretty sure this kind of behavior is quite common for aspies, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just do things at your own pace. Eventually you may decide that you don't need your parents to come with you anymore. Or you may not. Doesn't really matter either way so long as you're comfortable.

Even when I WAS standing up to my old Doctor (long story short, she decided my problem was depression when it was clearly not) all she did was push more samples of anti depressants my way, just a different type than last time. I was 25 at the time. I brought my Mum in with me, which was something that I hadn't done in a while unless we both had an appointment one after the other, not because I didn't want to, but because it was difficult for her to get time off work- I sometimes wonder if I just wasn't being taken seriously because I looked healthy or because I was young. She's been coming with me to every Doctors appointment with any Doctor since, and I'm now 28. If she can't go, we find a trusted friend or reschedule, because not only does it help having someone there to collaborate anything you may have to say symptom wise (mine was "No, she's not depressed, all of her symptoms are physical, not mental" and yes, I'm well aware depression can cause physical stuff, too, but you're not supposed to suggest depression if the patient has no mental symptoms.) or to help you remember correctly what you were told, OR to help you understand something you may not have understood properly.



EVERYONE, autistic, special needs in any other way, or completely "normal," has a right to an advocate. If your doctors ever try to force you to not bring someone, or to tries to make them stay in the waiting room while you go into their office, leave and report them. The only reason they would have a REAL problem with it, is if they know they are doing something unethical or illegal. Let them give you all the weird looks they want, in the end it's covering them, too, because that way if say someone accuses them of something, there would have been another member present to see if it did or didn't really happen that way.


Good luck with your Doctors appointment and hopefully everything turns out alright.

Thats not wierd at all. Everybody has their own preferences about things like that. It would be wierd if you were afraid to go in there alone because you thought the doctor might turn into a giant bird and fly out the window carrying you in its beak and drop you into a volcano. That would be wierd, what you described isn't.

I insisted on going in to the doctor alone from the time I was about 12 or 13, because my mother was so overprotective and smothering. It was at least a little modicum of independence to me. My kids are all different about that. My 23 yo had me go with him and not leave him alone there until he stopped talking to me because of his crazy baby mama. That happened when he was 21. He had his appendix out and stayed in the hospital overnight and insisted that I stay with him. Near the bed. Within touching distance. My 19yo daughter can go alone but prefers me to go with her. She will go alone when she has to and is starting to like going in alone if she's seeing the one she knows there, but she even insisted that I stay in the room with her when she got her first pelvic exam. My son that will be 18 this month won't go in alone. He doesn't want to talk to the doctor and says he doesn't know what to say, but he certainly does a good job of talking to him when I'm in there. I think he just likes the reassurance that I'm there. My 16yo likes to be alone and almost always insists that I go out of the room now.

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There's nothing wrong in taking someone in for support. I sometimes take my husband in with me.

It's not weird, just different.

I don't have an issue w/ doctors or asking them to do things etc, but if I did I'd much rather have someone else go with me to make sure things got done that needed to be done to benefit my health than just not speak up and be worse off for it.

Whatever works.

I think all the posters above have agreed that it's not weird at all and I agree with them, too. A medical appointment can be quite uncomfortable especially when it's intrusive. Your comfort is the highest priority in such situations. It's very understandable that you don't want to be alone with the doctor when your testicles are to be checked. Most doctors are very professional, but some have acted inappropriately and some people actually recommend you have someone else with you just in case, though such things seldom happen.

Certainly nothing wrong with that in my book. But actually, I have the opposite issue. My mother always asks if I want her to come with me to doctor's appointments, and I typically have to tell her "no" multiple times. And now, my doctor has actually suggested I bring a family member with me next time to discuss things that are going on with me. I personally don't feel comfortable with that, as there are some things I prefer to keep confidential, or at least avoid going into detail about.

Nothing wrong with it at all. My wife and I go into the room for each other's appointments, and it's not because either of us is uneasy; it's because we both want to hear what's said, and we might come up with good questions that the other might not think of asking. I used to go to doctors appointments alone when I was your age, but that was only because my parents passed away when I was 20 and 21, and honestly I don't think I got as good of treatment. And that's because I think it's harder for the patient to think of what needs to be asked, and maybe the other person with us has a clearer mind when it's not their own appointment.

With that said, the doctor shouldn't feel weird about it and DEFINITELY shouldn't question you if you want somebody in there with you. That's YOUR choice and your business. It's the doctor's duty to do what you want, as long as it doesn't interfere with anything (like if your father were really bossy to the doctor, etc). In fact, with today's fake accusations against doctors and others for doing weird things to people, I'd think the doctor would want another person as a witness that they didn't do anything weird while examining; especially if you're going to ask them for a sack check. And on that note, and none of my business or anyone else's here, but as a man who was in my 20s not TOOO long ago, I'll reassure you that all kinds of lumps and weird pains can happen down there in your teens and 20s, and most of it is normal and needs no treatment. I remember having a painful lump in there, and worried I was going to die of testicular cancer or something. When I had it checked, it was a backup caused by lack of female attention.... Nothing wrong at all.

Charles

I always get a parent to come in with me. I hate talking to doctors without my parents present.

It's VERY good to have someone with you who has your best intentions at heart, and also would not subject you to something you do not want (like force you into something like a surgery that has risks). If a doctor every questions this, you might want to find a new doctor. You should tell your father all of your fears and wishes before this happens, and try to sit down and write questions with him there and have a plan. The plan is for in case you freeze up, he can be assertive for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, many people have their spouses go with them to appointments. I think a parent might even be better, as they knew you longer.