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mikassyna
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08 Apr 2013, 11:07 am

OK so I don't know if I can post this here or if I should put it in Parents section or what.

Does anyone know how NT kids learn how to play?
Do NT kids' parents TEACH their kids how to "play"? Or do NT kids just "know"?
My PDD-NOS son would do the typical ASD thing: Spin wheels, stare at wheels moving back and forth at eye level, line objects up instead of playing with them.
Given I was never good at imaginary play (recently dx'd with AS), I never taught him how to play with the cars, going Vroom Vroom and all that nonsense, as it all seemed so silly to me. I wonder if it was my fault he didn't learn proper play skills? Or would he have just figured it out by himself if he were NT?



Joe90
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08 Apr 2013, 12:04 pm

Funnily enough, I have seen NT kids line up toys. My mum said she used to line up toys when she was little, making them have an ''assembly''. Also my uncle said my cousin used to have a big box full of cars, and he sometimes liked to get them all out and line them all up in rows, making a ''car park'', and it looked so professional, and he was only about 3 or 4 when he used to do it. Now he's 23 and is a perfect example of an NT, always has been.

So I don't know really. All children are different, whether they're Aspie or not. Maybe there can be significant differences, like for example a baby of 17 months lining up toys neatly like a child of 4 could do, or something like that. I don't really know much about this sort of thing, it's complicated to explain.


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mikassyna
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08 Apr 2013, 12:14 pm

My son was a bit extreme in lining things up. He would take random toys and line them up all along the banister, the table, anywhere he could, and it would not be for any specific purpose. It was "non-functional" because he was not pretending there would be any assembly, army or car park. He just did it and would get upset if anyone touched them. I think that's maybe the distinguishing factor between ASD lining things up and NT lining things up.



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08 Apr 2013, 12:33 pm

I think a very common mistake people make is trying to "teach" AS kids how to play! What this does is turn the "play" into work, defeating the purpose of play!! A big part of it, I guess, is that people assume that all kids, deep down, want to play in something approaching a "normal" manner or with other kids. All my life, I have preferred to "play" alone than with a bunch of people with which I have no common interests! Which describes 90-99% of kids to an AS kid!


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redrobin62
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08 Apr 2013, 12:37 pm

When I was a child we were dirt poor so I had no toys. We got lucky one Christmas, though, when the local Fire Department collected some toys to distribute. I received a police car. I true autistic fashion, I didn't play cops & robbers with it. Instead, I took it apart to see what made it work. Yeah. I was a bad boy.



mikassyna
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08 Apr 2013, 1:03 pm

My son has marginal interest in playing with his peers. He didn't really do well with imitation (play or otherwise) as he could care less what I was trying to demonstrate to him, which was also a problem for him developmentally as far as teaching him self-care (feeding, dressing, etc.). I would constantly question myself if I was doing something wrong. I'm not sure how much of a "teacher" I'm supposed to be to him. I know that I love him, but loving doesn't seem to be enough and parents are supposed to do a lot more than that. I know that as a kid, I didn't want to do anything I didn't feel like doing, to the frustration of my mother. I guess most kids are like that to a certain degree, but I was more stubborn than she could handle. Now I run into the same problem with my son, LOL.



whirlingmind
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08 Apr 2013, 8:41 pm

I don't think you have to teach any child to play. Playing is just exploring and using different toys or objects in a way that pleases you, to entertain yourself. Who is to say there is a right way and a wrong way? There may be a traditional way, but there should be no pressure on having to play with toys in a set way. If a child on the spectrum likes spinning wheels, that is of value to them. Don't feel guilty.

I didn't realise until very recently that the only games I ever play with my girls are boxed games. I have sung to them as little ones, played pat-a-cake, round and round the garden, hide and seek and peekaboo, and this little piggy type things. But I have never played dolls with them, I've just shown them on toys what the functions do and left them to get on with it. They have their own great imaginative play.


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goldfish21
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09 Apr 2013, 3:19 am

He'd have lined them up and done the autistic thing anyways. Teaching him how to play, and working on it, might break him of those play habits as then he'll have an example to follow that he might like more than being enchanted by mechanical parts or organizing things. Then again, he might not really take to it very well and could always be very autistic in play methods. Could always start teaching him now, no?


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Comp_Geek_573
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09 Apr 2013, 11:43 am

^ Then again, he might also decide he likes the "mechanical" way to play better, even after being shown the "normal" way!


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Ettina
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09 Apr 2013, 6:48 pm

Quote:
Does anyone know how NT kids learn how to play?
Do NT kids' parents TEACH their kids how to "play"? Or do NT kids just "know"?


OK, firstly, I have issues with how a lot of people in the autism field define 'play'. As far as I'm concerned, play is an activity done purely because it's enjoyable, without interest in the end result. By that definition, autistic kids are just as capable of playing as NT kids. They just enjoy different games.

But anyway, if you mean social and/or pretend play, which is where NT and autistic kids tend to differ most, NT kids don't need to be taught to do this. Pretend play naturally emerges in NT kids around late toddler/early preschool age, and you'd have to try pretty hard to actually prevent an NT kid from pretending. Social play also emerges pretty naturally, although most NT kids start out playing with adults before they play with peers.

In terms of developing social pretend play in an autistic kid, what I'd recommend is to start by making the play they already do into a social activity. If your kid likes to line things up, add to his line or make a line beside his line or something. Keep it friendly, if the kid protests your interference, try something else. I've often joined in on autistic kids' games in my volunteer work, and found that it's not that hard for most kids.

Once you're regularly doing social play, you can start introducing variation, and gradually encourage the kid to try out new styles of playing. Be sure to keep it fun - if you're trying to drill a kid in 'playing', it's no longer play. The kid has to be enjoying it for it to be play. But if you go gently, the kid should develop a tolerance for a bit more variation in their play.