I understand how you feel. I'm the same way. I think that perhaps the confusion results from the internal conflicts that we experience between the external event and our own internal self perception and responses. This conflict can be even greater if our internal response (typically AS) is different from that which most others (i.e. NT) would expect. In some cases this manifests as a clash between our internal self perceived reality and the external world. The result is that we do not know what is objectivly real, what is actually true. Without this knowledge we are in a state of mental confusion.
There is no simple, easy solution to this problem. At least, I haven't really found one yet, other than to rely upon my years of experience. Age seems to have helped me to understand the differences between the external events and my responses to them. That's the good news. The bad news is that the ultimate cause of almost all of the bad things that have happened in my life have been my fault. That's a tough thing to have to admit, but nevertheless it is the truth. Some say that I am wrong in that assumption, but I have learned the hard way over the years to trust only my own judgement and no one else's. (The few times I trusted someone else's advice resulted in major disasters!)
I wish that I could give you some more concrete advice, but every situation is different. Perhaps you might make a list of all of the possible things that you might do at this point and then go through them carefully one by one and note the pros and cons for each possibility. That might help you to wrap your mind around the problem and lessen some of your confusion.
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"A man needs a little madness...or else...he never dares cut the rope and be free."
Nikos Kazantzakis, ZORBA THE GREEK
Some of us just have a little more madness than others!
28 Mar 2013, 12:54 pm
