not sure if I have autism

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Ever since I was about 4 years old I remember I wasnt as good at socialising as most other children. I quite like being with other people but I dont talk much and I like to have time on my own too. When I'm with other people I often get paranoid about not talking much and try to think of stuff to say but I find it difficult and if a conversation does start I find it hard to maintain conversation and it's often quite awkward. I felt it got worse when I entered my teens and I found it very hard to keep friends. It really affects my confidence and I suffer from anxiety and depression. Didnt see doctor about depression until I was 21 and now I'm 30.

Anyway could this be connected to autism in some way or do you think it's something else?

Do you have trouble with coordination? Skewed Senses? Literal understanding? Showing emotion? Other tasks? Do you have any special strengths? If so, it may be autism. If not, it probably isn't.

Steve

Define skewed senses, because I never really understood that. That would be more along the lines of the schizophrenias. Do you really mean perceptual differences?

I mean like you may be annoyed by things others may not even be able to see/hear. You may ALSO not hear/see things others are annoyed by. You may be overly sensitive or insensitive to extremes of heat or cold.

Steve

Yeah, i wouldnt call that skewed.. and you ahve to be careful that people dont think you are imagining things, rather than sensing what is not there.

As a kid i would drive people insane because i wouldnt take my coat off in the house. I was comfy.. it wasnt too warm.. why should I?

Fuzzy,

My problems with sound have been:

harmonics(so even a PLEASANT sound resonates the wrong way and can hurt)! That is a law of physics, and beyond dispute. Still, it is short lived, and few would notice! Maybe I am just built a little different.

Feedback or similar This is often noticable, but annoys only me. Again, beyond dispute.

Loud noise. They simply think I overreact.

My problems with lights are worse:

NEON/MERCURY... I try to stay away! Maybe this is ANOTHER reason I don't like sports. Many school gyms here have mercury lights.

Flourescent... They used to be worse and emit sounds that bugged me that others couldn't hear. The light is a bit off, but that is a known problem. Happily it isn't to common, but I sometimes get there JUST as they start flickering. Apparantly most can't see the earlier flickering, and think I am nuts. In a few weeks it gets to where they CAN notice!

Odd lights like on the eurobus A319. I guess I should try to do something here. it seems nobody sees the flickering before the engines are started. Ironically, that is one of the few times they are on! Soon after the engines start they often turn them off!

BTW MY problem has been going out, even in FREEZING(like freezes a cup of water into ICE) weather without a coat. I bought my first coat only a few years ago. Of course, freezing USED to mean, to my mother in california, 36+F NOW it means, to me on the east coast, -5 to 22F. YEAH, I know, 32F is freezing. It just seems like that doesn't bug me so much.

ANYWAY, they think I am stupid, and overreact, but they don't usually think I am crazy. OK, over a dozen people on the last A319 thought I was crazy. The flight attendant was a MORON, blew it out of proportion, and wildly called attention to it. She acted like I thougt there was a major lighting problem that was tied to the idiot lights or something that indicated that "the plane is not safe"! SHE should have been locked up. Anyway, nobody else saw the flickering lights. I've seen them on 3 planes. NO boeings, NO folkers, NO canadaairs, NO saabs! ALL EUROBUS A319s! And I have flown fewer eurobuses than the others. ALSO, the flashing stops when the engines start. So I am not imagining it.

Steve

I notice lights too at times. anyway.. this is appropriate, I think.

http://www.xkcd.com/c32.html

I LOVE IT! "WHAT POLE?"

I wondered that SAME thing! I might see blue where you see green, and yellow where you see red. WHO KNOWS? I merely learned to all that experience a color. Maybe we ALL have the same favorite color, but call it by different names. Wouldn't THAT be wierd!?

Steve

I would drive my mother crazy by not putting on a coat when she wanted me to. If it was freezing, sure, I'd wear one, but if it was just kind of chilly, I loved the feeling of the cold air.



Other people can't hear the sound fluorescent lights make?

I don't know about now, but then they couldn't hear that noise. *I* was always the one to tell them when they had to replace the ballasts. As for the hum and/or whine they make now, I don't know. If I wasn't surrounded by them so much, I know it would be REALLY bad. As it is, I try to use them little. I DID end up doing something I never thought I would, and I bought a flourescent replacement for my livingroom incandescent lamp. IT is quiet(I DO have a little tinnitus now, so that might be hiding some of the sound. 8-(), and the light behind the shade and subdued doesn't look that bad. I did that because the quality for incandescents isn't there, I have the light on all the time, and am not home much. Otherwise, I would have stuck with incandescent.

Steve