Worrying *too much* about other people

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I seem to be overcompensating for my lack of empathy.

That is, when a person that I know well tells me he/she has a problem, I usually wonder how to solve it. When that is not possible, it concerns me very much, up to the point that I have to think about it all the time and have trouble falling asleep.

I think the origin of the problem is that I can't stand the feeling of being privileged. When a close person tells me he/she experiences pain (physical or otherwise), I want to feel that pain, too, just to understand what it's about and not be privileged.

Does anybody have a strategy for that? I have this strong desire to make the person in need feel better, but I my comforting/empathy skills are insufficient.

For a start, cognitive empathy(recognising the feelings of others through interaction) and emotional empathy(caring about their feelings) are entirely separate things. People with AS lack the former and people with ASPD lack the latter.

As for your actual problem, I would recommend simply trying to talk to people about their problems and at least help them with the emotional side of it. If they want you to get involved, and you're comfortable with that, then do. I'd also recommend keeping in mind that if you didn't cause someone's problems, you have no obligation to help them.

what is AS and ASPD?

Overcompensation! I do that too. I'm trying to help an online buddy I've never met solve his vision problem. Hahaha.

I know, but I'm not sure how good I am at the latter, because I'm quite selective about my empathy.
If someone's grandmother died at old age, I honestly couldn't care less, because I don't understand why to be sad about that.
But if fellow students have problems that make it difficult for them to pursue their studies the way they intended, I care a lot.

That is, I don't actually empathize with people based on their feelings, but instead, I wonder how I would feel if I had their problems. And when I notice that I would feel bad, I consequently feel even worse than that.


Asperger's Syndrom and Antisocial Personality Disorder, I think.

Empathy really confuses me all the time.

But isn't that sort of the essence of empathy?

I do this too! I dont often know what the other person is feeling about their problem, but I always worry about solving their problem, almost to the point that it is my problem.