Trouble Functioning due to interests/hobbies.

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I am not diagnosed with an ASD although I come here because people in general keep accusing me of having Asperger's, plus I like talking to people around here because many of you are very interesting to chat to (many have heads full of interesting information and an interesting perspective on things in life). I am diagnosed with social anxiety (for my social problems ie my inability to make friends and maintain friendships and various other social difficulties some of which do include shyness because I have been bullied a lot in the past etc) alongside general anxiety and depression.

Anyway...

I was studying for a degree, but the university I was with (I study from home) has now discontinued the modules I wanted to study that were specifically related to my area of interest. This means I have to study something else and as a result have lost the will to continue on with the course. My particular areas of interest at the moment include breeds of shark (modern and prehistoric), human evolution and paleolithic lifestyles (including the paleo diet which I am on) and various arts and crafts (namely cross stitching and tapestry). I also have a lesser interest developing in regards to meditation, geological processes (particularly volcanoes) and video making etc. The OU have stopped the Evolution module, the life and planet earth modules etc...so that has completely messed up my chosen pathway and I just cannot get any interest going in other pathways, that at this time, I do not care to study.

I also have trouble socialising because I miss out on my beloved hobby time...which everyone thinks is my just being self absorbed or unfriendly or something. I get most upset when I don't get any hobby time due to having to make social chit chat instead. You try starting a conversation on shark species or palaeolithic man...it is next to impossible so instead I have to listen to people rattle on about their latest experience at a night club. Now don't get me wrong, I care about their general welfare and rights as a human being but I have much difficulty being interested in the topics of conversation when they start talking about such things. I have tried and tried and tried to make myself interested, but I just keep failing. I get so bored it is like being mentally tortured....

Socialising is torture sometimes...in many ways.

As I am not diagnosed with an ASD (never been tested officially), could my hobbies interfering with my ability to study be a form of OCD?

I don't get bad grades when studying, I can get A grades even at University level study, it is just that the interest is not there anymore, especially as I can no longer study the specific modules I wanted to and there are no viable replacements I can take that cover exactly what I wanted to learn about. Therefore I have pulled from the course and am now pursuing my learning in my own time instead. However, I still have an interest in my hobbies so I don't think it is depression causing the problem...I still find doing tapestry to be a most enjoyable experience for example and after many years of just doing cross stitch I am now learning about that as well!

It doesn't look good on my CV though and sooner or later they will want me to get a job. They are expecting me to recover completely from my social problems (ie my social anxiety diagnosis). Good luck to them because my social problems have been life long. Even as a child I was the weird one who collected bank forms instead of playing with dolls and whom everyone picked on. I am now 37 and nothing much has changed except I don't collect bank forms anymore. I think that interest changed to horses, then to madonna, then to jigsaw puzzles, then to psychology/parapsychology, then to the link between nutrition and mental health, then to cross stitching and so on...

I don't mind working, as I have no problem with work as such, it is more the social issues that make me dubious not to mention my tendency to get distracted from mundane boring tasks by my interests! I have the concentration span of a gold fish for boring stuff but amazing concentration for stuff I find fascinating. I could do jigsaw puzzles (for example) for 12 hours plus a day...same with my other hobbies. I did ask if I could work from home but they suggested they wanted me to recover and go into mainstream employment instead...yeah....this stresses me out.

However, as I was saying could it be that I need a diagnosis of OCD along side my depression and anxiety diagnosis or could they have made a mistake and could it be an ASD instead?

PN I do not have any rituals such as hand washing etc. I mean yes I like listening to the same song over and over sometimes or watching my favourite movie repeatedly but this is because I ENJOY doing such things and not because I feel compelled to have to do them. If I want to watch or listen to something else I can provided I am interested in it or it relates to one of my fascinations in some way.

I have absolutely no advice but what's the paleo diet? Also, what kind of needlework do you do? I love needlecrafts. I crochet, sew, I used to knit, I do embroidery, cross stitch, crewel, also hooked rugs. I would like to learn how to tat and also to braid rugs. I'm working on making a quilt out of old jeans, so it's going to be a denim square quilt. I also like learning about lifestyles, but I've never really been into lifestyles that far back (except for the time I was into reading the Jean Auel books) but I'm into medieval periods and right now I'm heavily into Edwardian. I go back and forth between 40's, 50's and 60s as well but ATM I'm stuck in the Edwardian era. Which the needlework goes really well with. I'm getting into Regency a bit now too.

Sorry I wasn't helpful, but I wanted to ask.

I used to be interested in victorian lifestyles for a while some years back but didn't get much research done on it before I got distracted by another interest. I can still find such subjects interesting though and Edwardian lifestyles also sound fascinating. My interest in paleo lifestyles started when I realised I wasn't able to cosume wheat without it upsetting my stomach and came across the paleo diet which is an eating style based on how our ancestors would have eaten when we were still hunter-gatherers. Obviously we no longer hunt and gather but the foods we are eat are limited to foods that can be hunted or gathered or which are similar to those of paleo man (fresh foods including meat, fish, nuts, vegetables, fruit and eggs etc but no grains and no dairy as these foods were not available back then). We did not start consuming wheat until about 12 thousand years ago when agriculture came into being and we settled into farms and villages.

The general consensus among paleo advocates is that we are not yet fully adapted to the consumption of various grains although I still include some grains in my diet (ie corn and rice) but just not the gluten based ones (barley, wheat and rye). According to studies, after we settled and started consuming a diet based on wheat we became an average of 2 inches shorter, had less muscle, developed more diseases and infections (from living in close proximity to animals), the average farmer died at a younger age than paleo man did (partly due to an increase in violent behaviour between members of different settlements) and suffered from more tooth decay (our paleo ancestors had very little tooth decay if any at all...) and so on. They also did not have many of our modern day illnesses such as diabetes.

In comparison I am interested in how much our modern day diets adversely affect our health....especially our mental health.

In regards to needlework, mostly I do cross stitching and tapestry at the moment but am looking to branch out and learn about all types of needlework. I would like to try blackwork, crochet, knitting and sewing etc. I would also like to make my own clothes etc and produce my own cross stitching designs for things like cards, coasters, place mats and other sundry items.

Your quilt sounds nice, have you got pictures I can see as I like looking at such things.

I am presently collecting the art of crochet (magazine series) and you get to make a quilt square by square with that although I have not started it yet.

In regards to the 40's I do love 40's movies and fashions and want to make some outfits in that kind of style at some point if I ever learn how to use the sewing machine I bought and draw up patterns for making my own clothing. 30's fashions and movies also interest me.

Bumble, if you want to try to get an autism spectrum diagnosis, here are the NICE guidelines for the adult autism assessment pathway:
http://www.nice.org.uk/CG142
You may have to push your GP and/or PCT in order to get the necessary referrals. Also, I believe you are entitled to a second opinion even if they have already given you a diagnosis of anxiety and depression.

(I will try to respond to the main thrust of your original post later, when I have more time.)

hey bumble I hope you are well, I enjoyed reading about you very much
The way your brain is wired does suggest some form of high functioning autism / aspergers, so there IS one question I would like to ask.

I'm 28, was diagnosed AS as a child and think in all the same ways you have described. except my hobbies are limited to the extreme due to smoking cannabis for my behaviour and thinking (smoke too much so just end up being anxious more). I usually go full blown into one thing at a time. Ive quit world of warcraft and am now hooked on reading up about nutrition/biomedical healing diets/crazy med drugs to improve me after I have sunk deeper into depression my whole life and had enough of living and being scared of death. somethings gotta give one day you know?

My question is I retreat to my hobbies as a form of escaping the annoying side of dealing with people with the chit chat and having to put so much energy into social communication (body language, reactions, responses, chosen words, formulated sentences). I also do it as the hobby is my constant. The one thing I do in my day that cannot be susceptible to change, Can you relate at all?

My hobbies serve many purposes.

Firstly I always have one hobby that is my main one and which gets most of my attention (occasionally it is 2 but usually just one). This hobby is my primary focus. At the present time it is tapestry and the paleo diet for improved health to help me with any depression or anxiety I may experience (my interest in the paleo diet though has also spread into an interest in palaeolithic mans lifestyle as well). The other hobbies are either minor interests that sit in the background or which go dormant for long periods of time only to surface again at a later date (possibly...some never come back, many do though).

The functions that my hobbies serve are many:

1 I have great passion for them and enjoy spending as much time as I can learning about them or doing them (depending on which is required at the time).

2 I have vast collections of things related to my hobbies and enjoy spending time organising these and getting more of them as soon as I can. Whilst I am not the most organised person most of the time, I can enjoy organising my collections for the fun of doing it. However, in between organising them they can tend to become rather mixed up and cluttered, so then I get to reorganise them all over again at a later date! Most people are out on a Friday night but I am at home sorting out my Art of Crochet magazine collection or cross stitching collection and actually enjoying myself! Also, whereas most people have just one or two cross stitching kits spare in case they want to stitch them I have nearly a hundred and am still collecting! I also have 4 years worth of cross stitching magazines which I won't part with and which I keep for the charts in them. On the surface it looks like hoarding, but I do not keep useless items or clutter that is not related to one of my interests. Ie if the magazines were gossip mags they just go in the recycle bin! I don't have room for useless clutter. However, I did annoy an ex partner once when I moved in with him. I did not have room to bring all my belongings so had to choose. Instead of selecting useful household items I salvaged all my hobby collections instead (jigsaw puzzle collection, cross stitching magazines etc). It did not go down well and they did not appreciate it!

3 They can be a refuge from my social difficulties at times as they allow me time to recharge my energies. My passion for them means they are very energising activities. Spending time with them can also take my mind off any problems I may be having. Socilising is just a massive drain on my energy reserves. It takes a lot of head work to figure things out and it constantly confuses me. The social world is some kind of twilight zone dimension whereas my hobbies are not. People may say I live in a world of my own but at least my world doesn't give me a constant headache!

4 I go into a state of flow when doing them and can lose track of time (another way they can cause me functioning issues...if I start on my interests before my chores get done, forget it, the chores will be well and truly forgotten about as a result...this is one way I often have to use routines in order to function) and so they are almost a meditative process for me. However I do not like being disturbed from my hobby time or state of flow to have to make social chit chat, which is one reason why I can get annoyed or frustrated if someone calls me unexpectedly. I will also be upset if I had planned to spend the evening pursuing my hobbies and I am suddenly expected to socialise instead.

5 I find my hobbies more interesting than the social chit chat, unless the social chit chat is related to them in some way. I can talk about them and exchange ideas relevant to them for hours to the point where people usually tell me to change the subject or shut up. I have also been asked if I wouldn't mind if they interrupted my monologue...even if they share the same interests that I do. I drive people nuts going on about it and have been accused of being obsessed. I prefer to think of myself as passionate.

I get a bit excited by my hobbies and when I have a chance to chit chat about them with others I get a bit carried away....

6 If I don't get any hobby time due to having to socialise or for other reasons (been too ill for example) I can become most distressed and depressed. I miss them just as I would miss my collections if I did not have them...they are my babies. I am still grieving for the jigsaw puzzle I let someone borrow only to find they had returned it with some pieces missing. The puzzle could not be replaced as it was a limited edition. This upset me greatly and I do not like it when other people touch any of my collections without asking first (in case they damage them) and I will no longer lend them out (unless I trust the person to be very careful with them). I get very attached, very much so. It may have only been a jigsaw puzzle to them but it was precious to me.


Does any of that help to answer your question?

I'm kind off in the same boat. I love my hobbies, unfortunately, they're not conducive to any kind of professional/career goals. When I was in school (before I even knew about Aspergers), I knew I had some kind of learning issue. Basically, I have an extremely difficult time retaining information on something I'm not interested in. I could read a chapter of something 3 times, and would barely be able to give a vague summary of it. Now, take something like Star Trek, I could skim through a document a single time and quote it nearly verbatim.

baatar I know exactly what you mean!

And bumble yes it does answer my question, very much so.

If you are looking for a diagnosis I would say you have aspergers. A diagnosis is never fact, but I would argue in the face of any doctor after reading your explanations.

good luck to you xx

Daniel

I don't have any pics of things that I've made, but I do have copies of some online patterns I've used. Today I'm making <this pineapple shawl> but I'm making it out of cream colored yarn because that's all I have on hand, other than a slate blue that I really don't care for.

I've also made several of <these> in different colored threads that I have. I have a ball of hunter green size 10 thread that I can't decide what to make out of it. I also have some size 10 gold metallic thread that I've used as trim on a burgundy scarf like this, but I have lots left.

I made some hats out of a pattern that I have that isn't online, some thread doilies from a vintage pattern book that I have, and I recently made my younger daughter a big shell stitch black yarn throw that is about the size of the top of a twin mattress. I didn't have a pattern for that, just chain stitch and then shells all the way across.

some ideas ... maybe helpful..

maybe you could still study something you are interested - you mentioned you were really interested in evolution ?

The Open Univeristy according to website I saw today have a module called "evolution" that starts next year - that would give you time to organise the funding ? Can I also suggest that you try to get a diagnosis of Aspergers through the NHS - this would also help you get the funding and the support you might need at FE or on degree courses ?


http://www3.open.ac.uk/study/undergradu ... e/s366.htm